Forum Game: Completely True Facts

Started by Chocofreak13, February 14, 2013, 06:44:37 pm

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Chocofreak13

http://blog.esaba.com/projects/facts/index.php

use this to generate some "true" facts about [insert noun here]. post toast~~

Examples:

"Kari doesn't wear a watch, She decides what time it is."
(funny thing is i don't wear a watch anymore since the battery in mine died)

"Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Kari. Not to be outdone, Kari invented the car accident. "
(damn straight.)

"Kari and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building."
(pent first posted this, but it was generated again)

"Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Kari. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Kari."
(-w-)

"Kari does not sleep. She waits. "
(possibly true.)


HAVE AT YOU, MY FRIENDS!

Penti-chan

"The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Penti has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears."

Chocofreak13


Penti-chan

"No matter what your mother always said, Penti can tune a fish"
(They make good sandwiches after you tune them)

alfonso_rd_30

Poncho Rodríguez qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

Poncho Rodríguez visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".

Poncho Rodríguez can build a snowman out of rain.

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Poncho Rodríguez thrives on pain. Poncho Rodríguez then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

Poncho Rodríguez doesn't have blood. He is filled with magma.

Poncho Rodríguez once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

When Poncho Rodríguez goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Poncho Rodríguez doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Poncho Rodríguez stared evil in the face, and it backed down every time.

Thousands of years ago Poncho Rodríguez came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

Once a cobra bit Poncho Rodríguez's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Poncho Rodríguez didn't kill you in your sleep.

President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Poncho Rodríguez carried his the same distance in half the time.

Poncho Rodríguez did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Poncho Rodríguez's warm-up exercises.

A man once taunted Poncho Rodríguez with a bag of Sabritas's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Poncho Rodríguez proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Poncho Rodríguez wanted his nickname back.

Along with his black belt, Poncho Rodríguez often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.

Giraffes were created when Poncho Rodríguez shoryukened a horse.

Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Poncho Rodríguez.

Poncho Rodríguez cannot predict the future; the future just better do what Poncho Rodríguez says.

Poncho Rodríguez can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

When Poncho Rodríguez talks, everybody listens. And dies.

Poncho Rodríguez has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will waste his time fighting the Anti-Christ.

The only sure things are Death and Taxes, and when Poncho Rodríguez goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

Chocofreak13

"Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Kari will beat his ass and take it."

Penti-chan

"If you can see Penti, he can see you. If you can't see Penti you may be only seconds away from death"
(Well, people I actually like need not fear)

Chocofreak13

"When you play Monopoly with Kari, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive."
(i don't play monopoly!)

"The word 'Kill' was invented by Kari. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'."
(i hate beer!)

"It's widely believed that Jesus was Kari's stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Kari's skin."
(I'M NOT CHRISTIAN!!!)

"Kari doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear."
(I---okay this one's acceptable.)

Penti-chan

"A picture is worth a thousand words. A Penti is worth 1 billion words"
(Especially when I'm dressed like a schoolgirl ^_~)

Chocofreak13

"If you spell Kari wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Kari?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

(it kinda grinds my gears when people spell my name wrong. :\ )

Pitkin

"Pitkin can get Blackjack with just one card." <3

"Pitkin is not only a noun, but a verb."
- Now you know what is missing in "I accidentally the whole website."

Penti-chan

"When Penti spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame"
(Oddly enough, I did something like that when I was a kid)

Simonorged

I have ADHD and Godzilla has nothing on me
Simon was here :P<br />

Penti-chan

"In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Penti could use to kill you, including the room itself"

Chocofreak13

"Superman owns a pair of Lenin pajamas."
"Giraffes were created when Lenin uppercutted a horse."
"Some people say that Lenin is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead."

as the cat stares at me.