http://blog.esaba.com/projects/facts/index.php
use this to generate some "true" facts about [insert noun here]. post toast~~
Examples:
"Kari doesn't wear a watch, She decides what time it is."
(funny thing is i don't wear a watch anymore since the battery in mine died)
"Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Kari. Not to be outdone, Kari invented the car accident. "
(damn straight.)
"Kari and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building."
(pent first posted this, but it was generated again)
"Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Kari. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Kari."
(-w-)
"Kari does not sleep. She waits. "
(possibly true.)
HAVE AT YOU, MY FRIENDS!
"The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Penti has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears."
"Kari can sneeze with her eyes open."
"No matter what your mother always said, Penti can tune a fish"
(They make good sandwiches after you tune them)
Poncho Rodríguez qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
Poncho Rodríguez visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".
Poncho Rodríguez can build a snowman out of rain.
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Poncho Rodríguez thrives on pain. Poncho Rodríguez then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
Poncho Rodríguez doesn't have blood. He is filled with magma.
Poncho Rodríguez once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
When Poncho Rodríguez goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Poncho Rodríguez doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
Poncho Rodríguez stared evil in the face, and it backed down every time.
Thousands of years ago Poncho Rodríguez came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
Once a cobra bit Poncho Rodríguez's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Poncho Rodríguez didn't kill you in your sleep.
President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Poncho Rodríguez carried his the same distance in half the time.
Poncho Rodríguez did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Poncho Rodríguez's warm-up exercises.
A man once taunted Poncho Rodríguez with a bag of Sabritas's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Poncho Rodríguez proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Poncho Rodríguez wanted his nickname back.
Along with his black belt, Poncho Rodríguez often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
Giraffes were created when Poncho Rodríguez shoryukened a horse.
Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Poncho Rodríguez.
Poncho Rodríguez cannot predict the future; the future just better do what Poncho Rodríguez says.
Poncho Rodríguez can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
When Poncho Rodríguez talks, everybody listens. And dies.
Poncho Rodríguez has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will waste his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes, and when Poncho Rodríguez goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
"Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Kari will beat his ass and take it."
"If you can see Penti, he can see you. If you can't see Penti you may be only seconds away from death"
(Well, people I actually like need not fear)
"When you play Monopoly with Kari, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive."
(i don't play monopoly!)
"The word 'Kill' was invented by Kari. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'."
(i hate beer!)
"It's widely believed that Jesus was Kari's stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Kari's skin."
(I'M NOT CHRISTIAN!!!)
"Kari doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear."
(I---okay this one's acceptable.)
"A picture is worth a thousand words. A Penti is worth 1 billion words"
(Especially when I'm dressed like a schoolgirl ^_~)
"If you spell Kari wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Kari?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
(it kinda grinds my gears when people spell my name wrong. :\ )
"Pitkin can get Blackjack with just one card." <3
"Pitkin is not only a noun, but a verb."
- Now you know what is missing in "I accidentally the whole website."
"When Penti spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame"
(Oddly enough, I did something like that when I was a kid)
I have ADHD and Godzilla has nothing on me
"In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Penti could use to kill you, including the room itself"
"Superman owns a pair of Lenin pajamas."
"Giraffes were created when Lenin uppercutted a horse."
"Some people say that Lenin is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead."
as the cat stares at me.
It is scientifically impossible for Poncho Rodríguez to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
"Vincent Valentine has 3 knees on each leg." (....what?)
"The last digit of pi is Deidara. He is the end of all things." (this is fucking awesome, suddenly Deidara is Shiva and i worship him. xD)
"Sanji actually owns IBM. It was an extremely hostile takeover." (well alright. -w-)
"Asagi has two speeds. Walk, and Kill"
(My laptop took a level in badass after I moved to Linux Mint)
"2k-tan used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, 2k-tan killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy"
(I never knew she played baseball)
"Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Naruto is on."
(protecting us all. -w-)
"Sasuke invented all 32 letters of the alphabet."
(this is counting scandinavian letters)
"After returning from World War 2 unscathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Gaara with a handshake. The rest is history."
(okay i don't get this one. .__.; )
"The square root of Saseko is pain. Do not try to square Saseko, the result is death."
(What the fuck? xD)
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Saseko once swallowed a turtle whole, and when she crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate."
(OK...)
"Saseko puts her pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then she kills people."
(That's awesome."
"When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Ciel."
(oh hell yes. xDD)
"Sebastian can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
(i totally habeeb it :0 )
"Tsukasa had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people."
(lolwut)
"Some kids pee their name in the snow. Sabin can pee his name into concrete"
(Well, this is the guy who can pick up a train and spike it into the ground)
"What was going through the minds of all of Terra's victims before they died? Her shoe"
(A little out of character for her)
"Kefka is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time he tries, the whole damn barn falls down. "
(I LOL'd)
Gendou Ikari was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that J. Nathan McDonald didn't kill you in your sleep.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. J. Nathan McDonald likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
During the Vietnam War, J. Nathan McDonald allowed itself to be captured. For torture, they made it eat its own entrails. He asked for seconds.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Sasuke will find you and kill you.
Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Sasuke.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Sasuke and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
"Sanji has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way."
"Deidara CAN believe it's not butter." (lolwut)
"In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Vincent Valentine was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep." (FUCK YEAH)
"Deidre Jackson grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. "
(lolwat)
"In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly was because they knew Spispopd was coming."
(spispopd is a Doom code)
"There is no such thing as global warming. Naruto was cold, so he turned the sun up."
(hey, this goes with our current debate!)
"In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Sasuke turned that wine into beer."
(well okay. xD)
"Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Gaara while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic."
(sand + water = bad idea)
Poncho Rodríguez describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".
Poncho Rodríguez can delete the Recycling Bin.
The chief export of Poncho Rodríguez is Pain.
Staring at Poncho Rodríguez for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.
In a tagteam match, Poncho Rodríguez was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.
Poncho Rodríguez has held the World Championship in every weight class at the same time.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Poncho Rodríguez. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
What many people don't know is Poncho Rodríguez is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Poncho Rodríguez can touch this.
Poncho Rodríguez recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Poncho Rodríguez come off without a hitch.
Poncho Rodríguez never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Poncho Rodríguez once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Poncho Rodríguez.
Poncho Rodríguez was expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Poncho Rodríguez does not swim. This is because when Poncho Rodríguez enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Poncho Rodríguez simply walks across the pool floor.
The Poncho Rodríguez military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Poncho Rodríguez could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
Poncho Rodríguez smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Poncho Rodríguez's personal chef.
Poncho Rodríguez was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."
According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Poncho Rodríguez walks.
Google won't search for Poncho Rodríguez because it knows you don't find Poncho Rodríguez, he finds you.
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Poncho Rodríguez with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Poncho Rodríguez cannot be in two places at the same time.
Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Poncho Rodríguez."
"JonTron smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is JonTron's personal chef"
"Egoraptor doesn't open a can of whoopass. He makes his own"
"If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. Linkara hears it. Linkara can hear everything. Linkara can hear the shrieking terror in your soul"
"Ciel plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball."
(because he's fancy like that)
"Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Sebastain can throw Brett Favre even further."
"Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Tsukasa beats all 3 at the same time."
(yup. -w-)
"Nostalgia Critic drinks napalm to quell his heartburn"
"President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Vincent Valentine carried his the same distance in half the time."
"Sanji is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis."
"Deidara just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure."
"Police label anyone attacking Suzumiya Haruhi as a Code 45-11.... a suicide."
"Suzumiya Haruhi once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made her blink."
"Suzumiya Haruhi doesn't bowl strikes, she just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint."
"Suzumiya Haruhi invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear."
"Naruto has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way."
"Sasuke never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth."
(why can't that be me ;^; )
"On the SAT if you put Gaara for every answer you will score over 8000"
(8000 9000)
"Sabin once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned"
"Sebastain stared evil in the face, and it backed down."
(but, he's a demon....)
"Ciel can delete the Recycling Bin."
(not that he'd really know how to use a computer anyway....)
"Tsukasa uses tabasco sauce instead of visine."
(mother of god....)
May I suggest, the next poster puts his/her thoughts on the previous post' facts besides hisor her own?
It looks like a very shallow and pedantic post.
i don't get it.
"There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Ghost allows to live."
(she's too fat to hunt now anyway...)
"Remember The Ultimate Warrior? She quit wrestling because Fern wanted her nickname back."
(well, fern IS feisty....)
"Olive owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets."
(MY DEAD CAT IS NOW A SOUTHERN ENTREPRENEUR!?)
"Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Lenin touches turns up dead."
(actually yes, there was a time when this was sort of true)
"When Momo falls in water, Momo doesn't get wet. Water gets Momo."
(i.....what?)
"Teddy is so bad he makes viruses sick. As such, Teddy is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox."
(HE CAN'T KILL WASPS, BUT HE CAN CURE CANCER!)
"Annabelle can blow bubbles with beef jerky."
(when she's not hiding in the dish cabinet, that is.)
"Sylvester invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear"
(My cat approves of this)
"Ghost once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing."
(this explains her sudden weight gain. :0 )
"As an infant, Ghost's parents gave her a toy hammer. She gave the world Stonehenge."
(lolwut siamese and maine coon gives a hammer)
"Ghost doesn't shower, she only takes blood baths."
(i.......what?)
"They once made a Penti-chan toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody."
(Well, sometimes it feels like I channel my inner Kari when in trap mode ^^; )
"Penti-chan CAN in fact 'raise the roof'. And she can do it with one hand"
(I have the power -w-)
"Penti-chan crossed the road. No one has ever dared question her motives"
(Never question the guy dressed like a schoolgirl)
"To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Hikari."
(damn straight. -w-)
"Hikari can't finish a "color by numbers" because her markers are filled with the blood of her victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red."
(this is going to make Ace's High very hard....)
"After returning from World War 2 unscathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Hikari with a handshake. The rest is history."
(well alright. .__.; )
Bob Dole's arm was badly shattered during World War 2
I believe that's the point...
"Bella uses a night light. Not because Bella is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Bella."
"The only sure things are Death and Taxes, and when Bella goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing."
"Bella cannot predict the future; the future just better do what Bella says."
"Bella does not know where you live, but it knows where you will die."
"The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Bella played in second grade."
TIL I'm actually Chuck Norris.
you're an it now? :0
@stew: thankyou, that clears a lot of things up.
"Hikari did in fact, build Rome in a day."
(damn right. -w-)
"Hikari invented the internet� just so she had a place to store her porn."
(-w-)
"Hikari is like a dog, not only because she can smell fear, but because she can piss on whatever she wants."
(I MARK IT ALL BECAUSE IT IS MINE *PEES ON EVERYTHING*)
(ewwww)
Poncho Rodríguez can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 22 seconds.
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Poncho Rodríguez would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
(it depends, it can be done either fighting the reverse gender-version, the evil couterpart and even the "sons" of Konoha no Arufunso)
If you can see Poncho Rodríguez, he can see you. If you can't see Poncho Rodríguez you may be only seconds away from death.
Poncho Rodríguez was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."
(Damn Right!!)
Poncho Rodríguez does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Poncho Rodríguez goes killing.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Poncho Rodríguez can touch this.
Poncho Rodríguez once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten.
Poncho Rodríguez has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
Poncho Rodríguez invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. (in fact, he shited it)
When Poncho Rodríguez was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Poncho Rodríguez, because Poncho Rodríguez killed that man. (the moron owed me 40 bucks)
Poncho Rodríguez is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants.
(Pees on everything kari peed... MINE!!!)
If you spell Poncho Rodríguez wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Poncho Rodríguez?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
The Poncho Rodríguez military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Poncho Rodríguez could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
When Poncho Rodríguez was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Poncho Rodríguez.
Poncho Rodríguez's calendar goes straight from December 27th to April 29th; no one fools Poncho Rodríguez.
Poncho Rodríguez just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Poncho Rodríguez with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Poncho Rodríguez cannot be in two places at the same time.
"Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Hikari needs toothpicks."
(now, now, i like toothpicks, but i love forests.)
"When Hikari plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy."
(i suppose i should start playing monopoly, then. :\ )
"In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a woman, and vanquish evil from the land. That woman is not Hikari, because Hikari killed that woman."
(OH SHIT I KILLED MULAN ;^; )
"Most people fear the Reaper. Penti considers him "a promising Rookie"."
(A promising rookie that needs more cowbell -w-)
"Penti-chan once participated in the running of the bulls. She walked."
(I did so while in my nicest dress. HATERS GONNA HATE)
"The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Hikari 3. Cancer"
"When Hikari breaks the law, the law doesn't heal."
(I FOUGHT THE LAW, AND, THE LAW WON (or not)
"Hikari will attain statehood in 2009. Her state flower will be the Magnolia."
(well alright. -w-)