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Relationships

Started by SleepyD, March 29, 2011, 09:43:29 am

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Aurora Borealis

@Bella: OMG! I can totally relate to your situation! I also hate the notion that 'sex is something people do to show they love each other.' (ahem... what about one-night stands and the world's oldest profession?) and take offense to it too.

If anything, I believe it makes a relationship weaker because passion wears off eventually, but platonic love lasts.






Chocofreak13

@bella: i agree on the notion of sex being romantic or w/e. sex is boring. the one time i've had it was thinking about someone else. :\ so i don't get the pomp and circumstance surrounding it. at this point, if i wasn't going for pure recreation with it, it'd be when i'm 28, hoping to gain children out of a one-night-stand.
i can see SOME romance with it sometimes, but saying that it's meant to be a mystical bonding ritual, well, i'd count that more as walking over hot coals together or bungee jumping together. :\

oh, and just for comedic effect, one of the times i come and get you over the summer, i'm gonna do what my friend russell did when he tried taking me out: show up on the doorstep with a traffic cone full of flowers. -w-

SleepyD

#17
March 30, 2011, 05:29:49 am Last Edit: March 30, 2011, 05:37:06 am by SleepyD

I've never had any interest in relationships, but I was dragged into a relationship last year by a friend who turned out that he was in love with me. It was totally one-sided and I hated it; I just wanted to be friends with him, but I got trapped in it for some time because it'd make him happy, and I thought I had no say in the matter anyways, so there was also the fear of retribution...

So it went on for 8 painful months, and it was doomed from the start. The breakup went waaay worse than I hoped it would. We're still friends now (thankfully!) and our friendship has recovered from that mess, but it still leaves a lot of questions I'm reluctant to ask, afraid to open up old wounds again.

Yes, when people come to me with relationship problems (I still am not sure why), honest communication is often the basic underlying problem. It doesn't matter what else they complain about, usually it's due to that little thing.

I'm glad to hear that you've made up! I'm one of those people that would just HATE leaving a relationship on bad terms.  I don't mind awkward, but knowing that someone out there hates my guts kinda hurts me inside.


Holy crap, a relationship thread. This shit is scarier than anything in the /H section by and far. -w-

I'm asexual/aromantic. The thought of physical or emotional intimacy with just about, well, anyone, tends to register somewhere from unpleasant to wretch-worthy on the DO NOT WANT Scale. Romance annoys the hell out of me too, I'd probably want to break a guitar over the head of anyone who wrote me a sonnet or love poem or showed up on my doorstep with flowers in hand, or in any other form tried to "win" my love or make themselves more appealing to me.

BUT!

There are exceptions to this rule, as indicated by the few people I've known and thought, "Hey, I would date-and-probably-eventually-hit-that." And by few, I mean very few, less than a half-dozen. In my life. Ever. Which, technically, puts me into demisexual territory, pandemisexual if you consider that I don't really give a damn about the gender of a potential mate, though the traits I find appealing are more common in men. AND: although there are people I'd date, I wouldn't really want a romantic relationship per se; I mean, I'd want their commitment to a relationship, but I wouldn't stand for maudlin proclamations of love and ostentatious gestures of loyalty and devotion. Marriage would probably be out of the question, children, never. Though "wise adults" have told me When you find the person you love, you'll want those things. Yeahhhhhh, right..... >____>;;

TL;DR, I'm a genderblind asexual/aromantic who would go demisexual in a relationship while retaining aromanticism, who basically only wants somebody I can trust and make happy and share a part of myself with, somebody to laugh with and love with and adventure with. Though I don't kid myself that I would be made happy by it - I would probably have fun but at the same time too paranoid about being abandoned to really consistently enjoy myself, but I'm like that all the time anyway. So it wouldn't exactly be new.

I know someone who not too long ago had a big presentation on asexuality.  Due to distance and time I wasn't able to attend, but the problem I see is getting people to understand asexuality.  The vast majority of people will not be able to understand what it feels like to not have a sexual drive.  Without some sort of explanation, they'll probably be lost--not knowing where they stand in a relationship.  And... yeah, for some people, when they start questioning themselves, lots of CRAAAZY random things pop into their minds.  This often results in DRAMA.


On a different note, I may be a virgin, but I'm certainly not asexual.  Despite my outward appearance and my personality, the thought of sex crosses my mind multiple times a day.  But I probably have a bit more control (maybe too much?) on the expression of such thoughts than most guys I've met. 
Also, I'll admit to being a bit of romantic.  Although as opposed to just flowers or something, I'd probably do it in a much nerdier way. Like that dude who hacked a rom of Chrono Trigger and put in his proposal after leading the protag through his own little stage. (I'd probably not get anywhere near that level of epic nerd romanticism though haha) 


oh, and just for comedic effect, one of the times i come and get you over the summer, i'm gonna do what my friend russell did when he tried taking me out: show up on the doorstep with a traffic cone full of flowers. -w-

That's either a LOT of flowers, or one of dem small traffic cones. heh

Krizonar

Hm, on the general discussion, I'm borderline overwhelmingly Romantic (I even have a surprise planned for toomarow, involving Godiva) , can't say I care for sex at all though, it just seems like a strange idea!

I'm not asexual, however.

Chocofreak13

@sleepy: bit of both. -w-

(and i hate hacks, but i'd like to see that owo)

@kriz: hope it goes well ^^

SleepyD


@sleepy: bit of both. -w-

(and i hate hacks, but i'd like to see that owo)

@kriz: hope it goes well ^^

he posted a youtube video of it if you're interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_HMLvLB7b0

Chocofreak13


stewartsage



Um, I'm supposed to put this post here because apparently no one realized Bells and I were an 'item'.  Despite her artillery barrage of subtle flirting and all.  So yeah.

Bella

#23
May 11, 2011, 08:35:18 am Last Edit: May 11, 2011, 08:40:31 am by Bella
My flirting was pretty blatantly apparent (just, not to anyone on this site) but I don't think they realized you reciprocated. Hell, even I didn't realize you reciprocated until a few weeks  a month several months ago. More or less. :3

Pitkin

#24
May 11, 2011, 11:21:16 am Last Edit: May 11, 2011, 11:25:26 am by Pitkin
Eh... it's not really to conflict with the "no one realized", but: "no shit, Sherlock?" ^^;;

Penti-chan

To date, I've never had a girlfriend; not because I don't want one (Quite the opposite, really), but because I'm too nervous to go out and find one (My main thing is that I'm afraid that if I bring up something nerdy that I like, she'll run off on me). Also, it doesn't help that the youngest ladies at my work are old enough to be my mom; so I can't really meet someone through work.

Personally, I'd want a companion more than anything; someone who'd be there for the good times, the bad times, and my crazy adventures, with sex as more of a "bonus feature" than anything (I wouldn't mind doing it, but it's not really a major thing to me; unlike some people I used to know).

Red-Machine

I'm the same way, Pentium.  My major obstacles are confidence, and lack of ability to recognise when someone's interested in me.
Red_Machine: Flouting the Windows Lifecycle Policy since 1989!

Pitkin

I've been wanting to post in this thread properly for a while, but I really have hard time figuring what exactly to write. ._.

So, as is common knowledge by now, I'm in relationship with Fedora-Tan since 2007 after knowing him since 2004, which is the longest and only physical relationship I've had. Our relationship started online, and before that I had had some other experiences online (even at OSC) as well, but those came to end mostly because of differing views on the usual issues and distance.

Being physical in general, uh, I've kissed three people and had sex with two. Too much information? ^^;

I used to have big self-esteem issues years ago, and part of those were because of not having anyone to hold hands with, or romantic crap like that. With hindsight I'm very happy though to not have been in relationships back then, as my issues were in fact very much elsewhere and it would've probably ended up very ugly had I drawn someone else into that as well. I was 20 years old when I was kissed for the first time, but at that moment it wasn't at all what I had wanted and I freaked out pretty badly.

I'm one of those annoying romanticism-driven and clingy people. I don't want to limit the other person, but I guess I can be pretty hard to cope with at times, unless the other person is just as clingy. I like doing small everyday things for the other to show my appreciation, but don't really expect them in return. ^.^

Oh yes, and I don't flirt. At least I won't admit it.

Sex, no comment on that here.

Red-Machine

Yes, Pitkin-sama, I feel much the same way.  I think I'd be pretty clingy too! xP
Red_Machine: Flouting the Windows Lifecycle Policy since 1989!

Bella


Eh... it's not really to conflict with the "no one realized", but: "no shit, Sherlock?" ^^;;


Finally, someone who didn't horribly botch their perception rolls. *awards gold star*

Ehh. It was kinda frustrating, being CON-STANT-ly hit on and never having anyone notice that I liked someone else. Or if they did notice, never say anything/cut it out. Not that I'm one of those super-sensitive people who take any sign of romantic interest from someone else as a personal affront (well, I do if it's a stranger, very much so, but I don't really mind if it's coming from a friend) but later on it did start to grate on me. Sorta. At least everyone was really honest about it, though - I'd rather people be upfront about their feelings than keep them secret.

At the same time... that's one of the reasons I was never more upfront in admitting to liking Stewart-kun; I didn't want to put him in the same place that I'd been put in if he didn't like me back, or make anything awkward since I value his friendship...and frankly, I wanted to keep it mostly quiet since I'm private like that. Everyone knows now so there's no use... .w.;;

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