Mac Party Redux!

Started by Aurora Borealis, February 03, 2008, 11:38:10 pm

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C-Chan

QuoteThey might or might not be vegetarians, but tofu bacon is being used instead of pork bacon for obvious reasons.


Could it be that my darling and fiancé, Auntie A/UX-tan, is also stopping by for a visit?  ^.^

QuoteI'll post up the first half of the page (4 panels) once I finish the fourth panel. But I was contemplating skipping the shading entirely. It really adds on to the pages but is time-consuming and I wanted to keep this simpler than my other works. :-\


It actually does the job without the shading, so I think you can proceed with that with confidence.  Especially in a humorous strip, you only really need shading in dramatic or sad scenes.  ^^

guyveroz

Hi love the comic.
I have some suggestions for Leopards arrival. Mainly in regards to the robot building....
Instead of building a robot she tried to "help" the classic Mac-tans but without realizing it makes them feel alienated causing them to leave because they feel unnecessary. After they leave Leopard-tan will be confused as to why they left until 7-tan explains it to her.

The if they decide to come back ou can have it as Leopard looking for them to apologize.

Aurora Borealis

Leopard-tan's "help" is a large part of what makes the Classic Mac-tans feel alienated but the robot she built will be there to automate certain tasks which makes them feel useless which is another part of the problem.

But yes, Leopard-tan doesn't understand what she did horribly wrong until almost all the Classic Mac-tans left, except for System 7-tan who scolds her for it. While the older OSX-tans tried to scold Leopard-tan for what she's doing, it didn't have much impact on Leopard-tan until System 7-tan spoke up against her (which had the most impact because she is a Classic Mac-tan, the last one remaining and was not very much affected by Leopard-tan's new regime as System 7-tan felt like she had almost nothing to lose)

guyveroz

Alright... can't wait for the next comic :P

C-Chan

QuoteLeopard-tan's "help" is a large part of what makes the Classic Mac-tans feel alienated but the robot she built will be there to automate certain tasks which makes them feel useless which is another part of the problem.


Ah yes, according to our original brainstorming, Leopard-chan herself is a little TOO generous in how she helps out around the house -- she's literally all over the place.  However, since the Classic Girls are still doing "stuff", Leopard-chan interprets this as not doing her job, so tries even harder to "help".  That includes building the robot, not only to ensure she can be in more places than once, but also to demonstrate who cool and smart the little brat thinks she is.  ^^;

[and by little brat, I still assume this is gonna be the Young-Type Leopard-chan]

QuoteBut yes, Leopard-tan doesn't understand what she did horribly wrong until almost all the Classic Mac-tans left, except for System 7-tan who scolds her for it.


Actually, would System 7-tan really scold her?  I thought she was still a bit on the emo side and wasn't capable of really doing that.

Besides, the one thing that all the Classic Girls have in common that 7-san doesn't is that they're all outspoken and hotblooded to an extent, whereas 7-san is unexpressive in a "cool" kind of way.

The Classic Girls are probably a lot more capable of scolding Leopard-chan before they leave.  But like a steel trussel, the more pressure you put on Leopard-chan, the more stubborn and defensive she becomes, which is why even her immediate OSX sisters scolding her wouldn't have an effect.

But 7-san gets through to her precisely because she doesn't confront her directly at all, but rather performs the old adage of "talking softly" and "carrying a big stick".  ^___^'

I've actually thought of a potential "script" for the scene between her and Leopard-chan if you want to see it.

Aurora Borealis

Quote from: "C-Chan"
Ah yes, according to our original brainstorming, Leopard-chan herself is a little TOO generous in how she helps out around the house -- she's literally all over the place.  However, since the Classic Girls are still doing "stuff", Leopard-chan interprets this as not doing her job, so tries even harder to "help".  That includes building the robot, not only to ensure she can be in more places than once, but also to demonstrate who cool and smart the little brat thinks she is.  ^^;

For designing the robot, should it be one of those boxy kind like those from old sci-fi movies, or should the robot look like her but mechanical? :-/

Quote
[and by little brat, I still assume this is gonna be the Young-Type Leopard-chan]

Yeah, I will be using the young blue-haired Leopard-tan for this. But after her change in mentality after seeing the error of her ways, she decided to adopt a more mature look [as the present-day teal-haired self]

Quote
Actually, would System 7-tan really scold her?  I thought she was still a bit on the emo side and wasn't capable of really doing that.

I'm not completely sure. She could be capable of scolding because she has been gradually recovering from depression over the years- although she still has ways to go on that :-|

Quote
Besides, the one thing that all the Classic Girls have in common that 7-san doesn't is that they're all outspoken and hotblooded to an extent, whereas 7-san is unexpressive in a "cool" kind of way.

Almost...

System 1-tan: Yes, she is certainly outspoken and hotblooded!

System 2-tan: Yes, but people rarely listen to her :(

System 3-tan: Very outspoken but not all that hotblooded although she does get a little bratty at times.

System 4-tan: No, she's hardly the outspoken type and not hotblooded.

System 5-tan: No, she rarely talks but is still highly expressive.

System 6-tan: Outspoken but usually not very hotblooded. She is one of the more nonchalant Mac-tans, except when dealing with perversion or getting upstaged by Leopard-tan's robot!

System 7-tan: Generally unexpressive, but as you said- in a cool way!

Mac OS 8-tan: Very outspoken and moderately hotblooded.

Mac OS 9-tan: Yes, very much of both!

Quote
The Classic Girls are probably a lot more capable of scolding Leopard-chan before they leave.  But like a steel trussel, the more pressure you put on Leopard-chan, the more stubborn and defensive she becomes, which is why even her immediate OSX sisters scolding her wouldn't have an effect.

Thanks- I couldn't think of a good explanation of why the OSX sisters' scolding wouldn't have much effect!

Quote
But 7-san gets through to her precisely because she doesn't confront her directly at all, but rather performs the old adage of "talking softly" and "carrying a big stick".  ^___^'

Aha! I've got an idea of how she effectively confronts her. System 7-tan tells Leopard-tan to see a year into the future or so to see how the rest of the Classic Mac-tans are doing without them (hint: They are separated wanderers and most, if not all of them are worse-off!) but still calmly talks to her.

Quote
I've actually thought of a potential "script" for the scene between her and Leopard-chan if you want to see it.

Yes please! I want to see it!

C-Chan

Quote
For designing the robot, should it be one of those boxy kind like those from old sci-fi movies, or should the robot look like her but mechanical? :-/


Well we do want to keep it relatively easy to draw after all, so we can nix idea 2.  Idea 1 sounds fine, but perhaps with a little extra OS-tan parody added.  ^__^

Supposing the robot looked like a Leopard Widget, but with mechanical arms and tank tracks for legs.  ^__^



Quote
Yeah, I will be using the young blue-haired Leopard-tan for this. But after her change in mentality after seeing the error of her ways, she decided to adopt a more mature look [as the present-day teal-haired self]


Fufufu... that sounds more like what I was hoping would happen.  ^___^

QuoteSystem 4-tan: No, she's hardly the outspoken type and not hotblooded.


Fufufu... thought she was a firecracker somehow, like her older sister 3-chan.  ^^

QuoteMac OS 9-tan: Yes, very much of both!


BWAHAHA!!!  >v<

QuoteYes please! I want to see it!


Your idea actually does make use of her time travel abilities and all, so wouldn't want to discard it outright if we can help it.  I've modified my original script idea to include it.  See if it works out (and of course truncate as much as you want):


    [After the Classic-tans leave the house one by one (with some offering an earful to the young brat), the OSX-tans give her an earful as well (with even Pu-chan offering a few stuttering complaints of her own, Mikuru-style).  ^____^]

    [Stubborn and fuming with indignation, Leopard-chan chastises them all insisting she's done nothing wrong, then dashes off to lock herself in her room.  She expects them all to come over to apologize, but instead they leave as well in the hopes of finding their Classic sisters.]

    [Not sure if you want to include the segment of the Binteji Renmei after all, but this is probably the part where ][-chan has her own small chat with the Classic-tans.]

    [About an hour or so later, Leopard-chan emerges from the room a little peeved, but gets confused when she finds the house deserted.  Suddenly, she hears some ridiculous bawling coming from outside.]

    [When she goes to investigate, she finds System 7-tan lying next to a tree with her usual blank expression.  She's surrounded by and comforting all of the OSX-kuns, who are bawling waterfall tears at the fact that all the girls left the house.]

    [Leopard-chan's approach invites vengeful gazes from all the OSX-kuns, but System 7-tan speaks to her as if nothing had ever happened.]

    7: [monotone] Hello Leopard-san.

    Leopard:  [confused] Uh... um.... hi........... 7-san, right?

    7:  *nods*

    Leopard:  Where is everybody?

    7:  Who knows... *scratches behind Tiger-kun's ear*

    Leopard:  ???

    7:  Are you busy?  I need someone good with a blade to spar with me this afternoon.  Does this sound like something you can help me with?

    Leopard:  [excitedly]  CAN I?!!!
    *her magic wand morphs into an intimidating, futuristic sword*
    HAH!!!  Don't feel bad if you get beat!!  I was top of my class in my Security Courses!!  ;)

    [Following a brief time lapse, we see Leopard-chan's wand sword stuck to a tree or on the ground.  Leopard-chan herself is all cut up and beat up, and lying on her knees visibly humiliated.  The blunt-end of 7-san's katana is pressed to Leopard-chan's neck, but 7-san's expression and tone is still the same.]

    Leopard:  [shaking]  This is.. im-... possible....! How could... I... lose....?  I... had.... all the.... ad... advantages....!  All.... the..... latest... technologies...!

    7:  [still monotone] Even the best weapons in the world are wasted on amateurs.  As long as you are still a young, immature kitten, you will never win even against my primitive sword.

    *pulls sword away and sheathes it*

    7:  Go home.  Even my straw man makes a better sparring partner than you.  Now I have to train harder to protect a useless person like yourself.  *walks off*

    Leopard: [crying, visibly hurt]  THAT'S NOT FAIR!!  I'M STILL USEFUL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS!!!!

    7:  [disinterested]  Is that so?

    Leopard:  I MAY NOT BE AS GOOD WITH A SWORD LIKE YOU, BUT YOU CAN'T JUDGE ME JUST BECAUSE OF THAT!!

    7:  I can't?

    Leopard:  HAVEN'T YOU THOUGHT ABOUT MY FEELINGS?!!!  HOW BAD AND MEAN IT IS TO SAY-!!!! TO MAKE... ME... feel........... useless..........  *gasps*

    7:  ...

    [Leopard-chan is still crying, but now her face starts to show some remorse.  Obviously something feels very familiar about the situation.]

    [System 7-tan doesn't do anything, but instead walks over and sits next to Leopard-chan.]

    7:  [still monotone] It is true that no one is completely useless.  We all have our own special gifts that define who we are and that make our lives meaningful.

    Leopard:  *nods head sadly*

    7:  To belittle your talents is cold-hearted, but to deprive it entirely is cruel.  Even with the best intentions in mind, limiting your potential and stifling your source of happiness only makes your life less meaningful.  It would be as if I abandoned you in a closet, refusing to acknowledge all the good things you could still offer to me and to this world.

    Leopard:  A closet....?  *sniffles*  :(

    7:  You said before that your wand can peer into the future.  I don't know much about that stuff, but can you use it to foresee a future with our family divided as is?  

    [Leopard-chan is hesitant at first, but nods and goes to pull out her wand sword.]

    [The ensuing scenes would probably have her and 7-san observe brief glimpses of the future where most of the Classic-tans are suffering cold and lonely Wanderer lives.  Gone from their eyes is the enthusiasm and can-do optimism they had before, replaced instead by despair and helplessness.  Unable and unwilling to help themselves out of a crushing feeling of obsolescence, they allow themselves to waste away into obscurity.]

    [System 7-tan never guilt trips Leopard-chan here either, instead letting the powerful examples help the young girl understand her folly on her own.]

    [It works, as Leopard-chan quickly and frantically dashes away in search of her sisters.  Fortunately, she doesn't have to travel very far.]


Sorry for any excessive sap, but you did say you wanted the story to have a small serious side to it.

Hopefully you can get very far with this comic.

===========================

And I just tuckered myself out, so I'll have to leave it there for the evening.  Good luck!

Added after 8 minutes:

PS:  Just as an afterthought....

System 7-tan, physically, always reminded me a bit of Shana from Shakugan no Shana

Emo personality-wise, though, I think she reminds me more and more of Mai from Kanon 2006.  ;)

guyveroz

Nice script. I think the ground would be a better placing for Leopard-tan's lost sword

Aurora Borealis

November 02, 2008, 01:08:10 am #68 Last Edit: July 26, 2020, 09:40:59 pm by Aurora Borealis
I'm still in the process of replying to the script but it is FANTASTIC! Seeing the super bad*** side of System 7-tan's personality was so FREAKING AWESOME!! ;010

Here are the first four panels of the Mac Party special: (aw darnit! Photobucket's resizing made some of the text hard to read!)

On panel 3, Mac System 5-tan is saying "Heheheh... I dare you to slam that on the counter." And Mac System 3-tan is barely awake, getting a rather rude awakening! :D

Oops... I forgot to mention that Mac System 6-tan is holding a large box of pancake mix! ^^;

Luckily, this isn't the finalized version of the page!

guyveroz

What happened to the sack 3-tan was holding?
I assume she dropped it but it would be nice to see the sack flying  ;054
Especially if it's going to hit someone

Aurora Borealis

She just dropped it. But I can change it so that the sack does go flying and maybe hit someone. I like slapstick comedy too!

guyveroz

Ohhh it would be sweet if it hit 5-tan or 6-tan. Kinda like poetic justice :P

Or even 7-tan who can then chase her around with her sword  ;006

Bella

That's a wonderful script, C-Chan! It's so sappy...but in a touching, sweet kind of way. I never would've associated such drama with the Mac-tans before. (Though at one point I wanted to do a comic like this with 2k, XP and Vistan, but I thought it would be too sad for an XP Persecution Complex sufferer like myself).

I also like the idea for the widget robot. But...gasp...I just noticed something! In that translation widget, I see the words "giant robot"! Is this a coincidence, or what? @@

I like what I'm seeing with this comic, though. I wish there was a bigger pic, but so far System 6 and 9-san are getting the cutest Macs award from me! Panicking System 3-chan is really funny in the last panel, too.

guyveroz

Quote from: "Bella"I wish there was a bigger pic, but so far System 6 and 9-san are getting the cutest Macs award from me! Panicking System 3-chan is really funny in the last panel, too.
OoT: There is a green joke here which I am not going to touch...  :D

Hmmm.. how about instead of making a single widget based widget-bot... widgbot...  you make the widgbot out of a mix of multiple widgets?

kinda like this

Aurora Borealis

I understand the joke you were hinting at! I have to deal with a bunch of very rowdy and perverted classmates in one of my classes and I think their antics are corrupting me :(

Your widgetbot looks great! I'll use it! :D