More IBM-tans

[NejinOniwa]

BASIC-kami. Basically, a deity. Works for the purpose, doesn't it?

[Bella]

Don't forget: BASIC-tan would be the creation of DTSS-sama! And a New Hampshirite (can't forget regionalisms amiright?)

(I'll be back later to comment further)

EDIT: it's Later!

That's a good question! The thought had occurred to me as well considering the sheer number of times it shows up, but being far less daring then you I never thought to go very far with the idea of giving a program language like BASIC a -tan.

Opinion wise; I think it would be a good idea to give all the micros a mentor/hero/goddess.

More proof that great minds think alike. d: I've never been daring enough to -tan programming languages either (seems a bit too abstract if you ask me) but I've seen it done before, as evidenced by this Google-translated website (keep scrolling down, promise you won't be disappointed). Now in movie form too!

i like the idea of having BASIC be some sort of mysterious figure that leads the hybrid masses. like a cult leader, only without the dark shady tendencies (or in some cases, WITH the dark shady tendencies). like a religious or political figure for the BASIC followers.

i would write out the -tan myself, but i don't know much about BASIC other than it's a widely used programming language in older computers that has fallen into obscurity.

how about this as a concept: a once great leader who fell out of popularity once the more "modern" programming languages came in, but, refusing to die (and wanting revenge) begun an underground group that grew in size. either unknown or believed to be dead by "modern" -tans, BASIC-kun (i feel a male fits better but you guys are welcome to make BASIC a girl instead) continues adding to his army (which he so affectionately calls his "family") to try to break back into the market and overthrow the bigger, newer languages like C++ and Java.

sounds cool to me.

While I don't doubt her cult leader-like appeal to the masses (and certainly a lot of bigwig programmers view her as an unscientific person who dumbs down her followers with her simplistic "philosophy"), I think she'd skimp on the mystery -- BASIC is an easy programming language, it only makes sense that its -tan would reflect this by having an accessible and laid-back attitude (to the point of unprofessionalism).

While the original Darthmouth BASIC (which BASIC-tan would probably represent along with other early dialects) fell out of use decades ago BASIC-tan would hardly be resigned to obscurity (especially considering that she still works today under the name TrueBASIC). BASIC is still one of the most widely used programming languages, which means BASIC-tan would undoubtedly wield a high level of influence even in today's world.

Her connection to the BASIC-based OS-tans might be a little murkier though; since she's essentially the one uniting factor between all these different factions and families.

I like your rabble-rousing leader notion though -- it certainly fits in with her (or his, as you proposed) position as a "working man's programming language" and rejection of the scientific establishment and notion that programming must be an esoteric and labourous endevour.

How about an IBM-tan?
Multiple Virtual Storage or MVS-tan (this hasn't been done before... I mean right?) D:
-A railroad engineer*
-OS/360-tan's daughter and z/OS's big sister
-Doesn't associate much with her family due to travel
-Outwardly gruff but with a compassionate heart
-Gets bored easily, enjoys reading in her spare time - especially about mythology and paleontology**
-Sometimes gets called VMS by mistake much to her chagrin (on the flip side, the same applies to VMS-sama)***
-Wanderer since 1981 (MVS is public domain)
-Friendly with personal computer OS-tans (MVS runs on PCs via Hercules emulator)
Dresses in 19th-century train engineer-esque attire, usually covered in soot or dirt, probably shows wrench wench tendencies. Looks a bit like mum.

*MVS is often analogised as being the freight train or 18-wheeler of operating systems; neither fast nor agile, but able to handle large loads of data reliably and consistently. Compare with Unix: a sedan with no instrumentation whatsoever (Unix Haters Handbook reference); Multics or VMS, which might be your garden variety tanks; or a supercomputer, which could be thought of as a formula one racecar.
**References to MVS being used in the Hercules emulator and the association of MVS with dinosaur mascots.
*** Reference to some story in DEC folklore, about VMS accidentally being called MVS on some system manuals or something. Heads rolled because of it.

[Chocofreak13]

told you i didn't know much! i like your ideas, and the new -tan though. ^^

should i download and gallery the tans on the page you put up? :\

[stewartsage]

There is no stopping the IBM, they are everywhere, they know all.

Whaaaaaat, there was no FORTRAN-chan on that website!

[Bella]

@Colonel-san: tell me about it, I'm surrounded by IBMers here. It's spooky. D:

There WAS a FORTRAN-chan on that website dear sir, you just gotta put your looking-glasses on~

@Kari: it's alright, I'm far from a BASIC history expert too... just know more about it from my research of DTSS though.

You can if you want, or I'll do it once I'm back home and have a reliable internet connection.

So guys, whilst reading about Skynet on an insomniac-ing wikiwalk (been meaning to -tan it for awhile now) I came across something even better than an nuclear-armed fictional doomsday computer system. I found a nuclear-armed doomsday computer system that actually exists! At least according to legend. Soviet legend. Which means, you know, it might've actually been an Elektronika BK hooked up to a specially jury-rigged AK-47 in a bunker somewhere. For the sake of conversation, let's err on the grand side of the spectrum though.

Behold: СисÑ,ема ПеримеÑ,Ñ€, aka Perimeter, aka Mertvaya Ruka, "The Dead Hand":

http://www.wired.com/politics/security/magazine/17-10/mf_deadhand?currentPage=1

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Hand_%28nuclear_war%29

Somehow I see Dead Hand-tan as being something akin to a doomsday!Soviet!Wimex-or-SAGE-tan, but that's probably only because I use them as a sort of baseline for all Cold War Era control computer systems.

-Born 1985 (created in response to mounting tension between the US and Soviet Union)
-Trained to have an aggressive and vengeful temperament (was designed to ensure the US would be counterattacked even if the entire Soviet military and governmental hierarchy was taken out)
-Wanted to be deployed at all times, angry over her human creator's lack of trust in her (the system would only be turned on "in cases of emergency")
-Missing her left hand, replaced with a hook (need I explain?)
-Seems perfectly comfortable with the thought of starting an apocalypse (again, no explanation needed...)
-Reclusive, secretive about her existence (US was never told that Dead Hand existed -- many in the Soviet military didn't know either. Seems illogical, given its destructive capabilities would've deterred an American attack)
-Maybe not the most rational or logical person in the world (to be direct: she's in-say-ane)
-Paranoid about the Americans -- or Soviets-- killing her. Spent most of her time in an isolated bunker because of it
-Her mission may've been deterring the Soviets from initiating nuclear war -- since once the "genie was let out of the bottle" she would have seen to it that the world was annihilated
-Has superhuman tactile senses but mediocre eyesight (used ground-based sensors detecting detonations, not radar systems to detect launches. If radar = vision, then vibration and pressure sensors = touch)
-Says she actually helped save the world from nuclear war (because of its aforementioned ground-based sensors, the chance of it producing a false-positive was very low)
-Alive (purportedly still in use and continually being upgraded)

Physically... very Russian looking, probably wearing a rather grandiloquent Soviet military uniform-style outfit to suit her rather inflated ego. Very pale and physically weak from years of sunlight inexposure, lending her a deathly appearance. Has an odd sense of humour, probably not the most comfortable person in the word to be around.

TL;DR: THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVAR. V>O<V

[Aurora Borealis]

^That is awesome!

[stewartsage]

Yes.  I have a recording of the Dead Hand on my iPod.

[Bella]

Why the hell was I never told about it?! I FEEL JUST LIKE PRESIDENT REAGAN, WAAAAAAAAH~ ;O;

[stewartsage]

It just never seemed relevant.  If it exists to begin with of course, though my personal opinion is that yes it does indeed exist.  Yes we should be somewhat concerned.

[Chocofreak13]

OMG!! HAL LIVVVVVEEEEESSSS!!!

[NejinOniwa]

Come now, is anyone actually surprised about this? -w-;

Incidentally, the sensibility (for something called a doomsday machine, it indeed is sensible) of that system seems like it should more influential on its personality.

[stewartsage]

In case you were curious, the station I was referencing was UVB-76 a mysterious transmitter located outside of Moscow.  There has never been any explanation for it's existence (since 1982), though some claim it's merely used for research into ionospheric radio propagation experiments.  With Morse code and voice transmissions of number/letter sequences like a numbers station.  Oh yeah.  The buzz transmissions were interrupted three times from 1982 to 2006.  And eight times since August with the most recent being today at 16:36 UTC.

Closest to 'official' as anything has ever gotten was when a retired Lithuanian Communications Minister stated the voices were "To make sure receiving stations are on alert."


Standard UVB-76 "Buzzer" Transmission

Voice Transmission

Male reading 1-10 in Russian, today.

[Chocofreak13]

that clip was creepy-cool. reminds me of that fanfic someone wrote (bells i think?) with that radio operator who went insane. i have an urge to read it now.

and i repeat: HAL LIIIIIVVEEEEESSSS!!!

[NejinOniwa]

It's pretty nice to just sit and listen to UVB-76 in late evenings, feels almost hypnotic... -w-

[stewartsage]

Indeed,  though I'm more of a BND recordings man myself.  Or the Lincolnshire Poacher when she was around.