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Started by NejinOniwa, February 27, 2009, 03:04:36 am

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NejinOniwa

I've been having problems with the syntax of poeticized Nimaxari lately...

Some thoughts on this would be nice.
First: Variable words. I'll use Ira, which means Of, as an example.
Ira has three forms: Ira, Ir, and I - nimaxari custom formal/common speech rules dictate that longer words in general belong in formal speech while shortened versions are common tongue. The question is, is it more proper to use the formal variant only, poetry being a rather formal or "high" text, or let it vary depending on situation?

As an example where variation is proper, I'll take the three princes of Kailia. Crown prince, Dril-San, would be called Dril-san ira Kailia; second prince Rey-An would be Rey-An ir Kailia, and third prince Ridh-An would be called Ridh-An i Kailia. As their status is of different levels, when using no other means than this one can still maintain the difference in status.
But is it good to do the same in poetry?
I dunno.
Halp?
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Chocofreak13

it all depends on what theme you're trying to go for. yes, certian poetry looks best when written in a still formal speech, however other works are prized for the fact that they are written in commoner speak--"slang" if you will. so what's the message? is your poem starched, cold, written by the royal hand? or is it warmer, spoken by the people?

the comic i'm writing wouldn't be half of what it is without the dialect. it's all about what the context is.

IanDanKilmaster

I don't know if I completely agree with what Choco is saying, but she seems to have the right idea in a general sense.  I don't really think using one style of vernacular will necessarily make it "warmer" or "colder".  Rather than generalize, I think it's best to make judgements on a case by case basis.

Are the amount of syllables in the word playing a role in this as well?

The Choice of a New Generation.

NejinOniwa

That is of course one possible use for varying; although most Nimaxari poetry is notoriously irregular in its composition, there usually is SOME kind of structure around (although most times, cleverly hidden or just generally weird). Another problem is that the Ira/Ir/I vernaculars aren't actually classed as "real" formal, but rather, there is a difference in the "power" attached to it, so to say. I know this is getting flimsy, but frankly, Nimaxari is so confusing even I don't fully understand it sometimes. ^^;
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IanDanKilmaster

The funny thing about this is, since you know more about Nimaxari and apparently Nixamari poetry than we do, you're currently the most qualified to evaluate the proper expression to use ^^;.

In my own writing news, I just came up with a concept for black comedy sketch.  It won't be involving my previous characters, however.  Naturally, I'm a little scared this sketch may be going a little far due to its use of misogyny.  I'll post the concept if anyone is interested (or would like to collaborate).

The Choice of a New Generation.

NejinOniwa

Hey, count me in. It's been a while since I collab'ed. At least I might be able to give you some input ^^
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IanDanKilmaster

So the concept I have is a play on the whole "last couple on earth scenario".  So there's this girl is hitting on this guy who is totally uninterested, so he gives that tired old "not if you were the last" reply (who does that anymore, yeah I know).  So somehow, possibly nuclear apocalypse, they end up being the last two on earth (and in my mind they're on an island, for some reason).  Despite, being the last two humans, he still rejects her advances (somehow he still manages to be very superficial), until eventually he succumbs to her "wiles".  She becomes impregnated and the relationship continues until he eventually realizes he's in the relationship for "all the wrong reasons", also he realizes that for continued reproduction, incest would eventually take place, and that's just gross.  So he leaves one night, and she ends up dying from being unable to fend for herself.  He, the last human on earth, ends up dying from slamming into a tree (I'm still thinking that through).  Anyway, I've also thought of a slight change up on the scenario, having the girl being the uninterested party, and when she eventually gives in, the guy realizes she's not that good at sex.  Ultimately the scenario would end in a similar fashion.  This was a lot funnier when I wrote this last night, something must be wrong with me.  Anyway, this sketch is still very rough, so there's plenty of room to flesh it out and develop into something a lot funnier.

Disclaimer:  I am not a misogynist, I know I joke about it frequently, but that's merely an aspect of my more offensive humor.  In no way do I endorse the idea of leaving a pregnant woman to die, this merely an attempt at black humor.  Hopefully this gets much funnier in post.

The Choice of a New Generation.

NejinOniwa

Remember: He does not slam into a tree. He gets RUN OVER by a tree.

That's a classic. >:3

An idea I have, to increase the Schadenfreude even more, is that you have BOTH parts willing once the apocalypse has come; And in the act of it they tell each other: "You know, you really suck at this." And end up desperate from not getting their desires fulfilled. That way you don't have to (although you still can) kill the pregnant woman, and you have them BOTH dying in/from sheer misery. Just think of it. Being HORNYASFUCK (yes lol), having a willing partner, and STILL NOT BEING ABLE TO DO IT PROPERLY. That's so fail, it's awesome. -w-
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IanDanKilmaster

That is awesome... I just have to figure out a way to convey that they're dying from misery.

The Choice of a New Generation.

NejinOniwa

That's what you have INNER MONOLOGUES IN ITALICS for, my friend.
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Chocofreak13

it sounds kinda funny :] can't wait to read it.

just a thought, but what if they were once a couple, had a fight, apocolypse, then they both still refuse each other, till they both give in for the sake of the planet, and they curse and hate each other even as they're doing it?

i'm no writer, except comics. just a rambling.

btw, nej, are comics allowed here? or is that for other art threads? i always thought the other ones were pure os-tan related.

IanDanKilmaster

I think that would go in FC.

The Choice of a New Generation.

NejinOniwa

Yup, FC, definitely.
(Besides it's been dead for long enough anyway ^^)
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IanDanKilmaster

Well, more importantly, if you do some digging, I'm pretty sure it's not the first time a non-OS comic was posted there.

The Choice of a New Generation.

NejinOniwa

Or a non-os ANYTHING, for that part. And after all, what would FC! be without Vdb's madnesses? ^-^;

NOW I SLEEP.
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