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Started by NejinOniwa, February 27, 2009, 03:04:36 am

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NejinOniwa

Nejin makes seriose thread, this is seriose business, why the hell do I make this here anyway, etc.

(mostly because FC! is already way out there in derailment land considering its forum placement and nobody cares, so what gives, really, also, this is probably the only "safe" place to start a seriose thread without all too much threat of derailment so, yeah, stop ranting already you, you)

- _ -
(this is my solemn face)
Anyway. No more ranting. This thread is the text-only version of Free Cookies, EG where you post your pieces of paper you don't, or do, care much for. Write stuff and post. Quality is preferred.

I shall go first, with something I wrote somewhere else. I reckon I've mentioned the Late Clock sometime or what, so I guess you should get to know it some.

_____________________________________________
THE LATE CLOCK

Tick.
-Professor. What is this device?
Tack.
-Ask the inventor! I don't keep track of all the damn things in this place. I'm trying to write our records here.
Tick, tack.
-I insist, professor! Surely you know what this is? I saw you handling it last week at the assembly.
Tick, ta- TICK!?
-I was what? Is that...oh, that.
TICK.
-Wait...THAT!? Hands off the Late Clock, brat!
TACK, TAAAAAACK~!
__________________________

As the TACK from the second hand seemed to stretch out, the device hung in the air for a moment. Then it started sailing down through the air, as if walking at a leisurely pace, until it finally landed with a smooth thud on the floor.
__________________________

TACK, TICK TACK!
-Satan and all his devils take you, Aston! GET OUT! NOW!
TI- Tick? Tick, tick tick tick. TACK.

The door was slammed shut as the freckled boy panickedly scurried out of the professor's chamber.

-Damn you, Aston! And I had finally caught the damn thing, too. Who knows when I'll next see that boy again, he was probably scared off for life.

The professor studied the floor, and came to the conclusion that what he sought for was absent from its expected position. He shot a resigned look at the Clock's hanger, but it was as empty as its leave had left it. The professor sighed in resignation, and sunk down on his chair again.

-I'm really wondering when now, ain't I.

_____________________________________________

~END of Late Clock 1~

Added after 1 minutes:

parts 2 and 3 are already done, too. just waiting.
YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS

kaineru

These are all from my Lunar Poetry Journal....

Hath time raged on,
Wherein thy life has stopped,
Fragments of time bend,
And a soul broken whereupon,
Forgotten in the depths of time,
unto the abyss of memory,
A final howl,
From a wolf who has lost it's fangs,
To bleed and fell,
In a snow driven blizzard,
To fail a test,
A promise broken,
Unberknownst if to be fulfilled,
Or thrown away,
By the winds who careless lift,
One broken,
One dead,
Shards of the heart,
Lies scattered onto the field of ice,
And may never,
See upon the light,
Of the upcoming dawn.

~Kaito "Adrian" Shigure / Kaineru

Fleeting,
Our lives leave us so fast,
Gone over the winds of eternal time,
And pulled away by the fate we despise,

Certainly to our fate,
Granted to us by our own whims,
And created asunder by none but ourselves,
And thrown away by dearly thoughs,

To cherish and love,
A promise as keen as day,
To light up thy winds,
To even go beyond the grave,

Morose us by thy our own will,
Entwined by within our hearts,
To pulled into the dark abyss,
And claimed by the hands of time,

But even that may be so,
Even thy life is at forfeit's end,
A promise as blue as the sea,
And as pure as the heavens,

Death may take me so,
But my soul will move on,
Until thy promise has been fulfilled,
Even if fate has stolen thy memories so.

~Kaito "Adrian" Shigure / Kaineru

Ablaze,
Flames of the heart,
To go cold and die out,
A torch of life; gone and forever forsaken,

Memories of one's life,
To turn upon an endless cycle,
A battle within oneself,
And the chaos upon the shattered glass,

A broken heart,
A shattered soul,
Liken a life without an existance,
Without something to live for,

Frost and eternal sadness,
A frowning moon unto dimlight sky,
Whereas the wolves howl,
And tormented finally die,

A light in a distant life,
A heart and soul continue to hope,
Without aflame to guide,
Without that shining beacon of light,

Footprints within the blizzard,
Upon this lonely snofield,
Walking with blood drenched upon him,
And to fall... without knowing if he has an angel to save him.

~Kaito "Adrian" Shigure / Kaineru

How many have we seen?
How many have felt?
How many times did we idle?
Suffering...

Wars that passed...
Battles that scarred,
And lives that was lost,
Yet it hath remained.

Why do we hate,
Why can't we leave it behind?
Do we need a hero?
A martyr to die for us?

We never learn.
If there really a "Lelouch" with us...
Would we let him forsake all?
Just because we are worthless in making peace with ourselves?

~Kaito "Adrian" Shigure / Kaineru

In the winds that blows,
Wherein the eternal symphony echoes,
Lies those bound by hearts,
And those bound by friendship,

Find the way,
To where they lie,
Find the light,
To where your heart desires,

To the ends of time,
From the beggining until the end,
Chains of life,
Flow into the rivers of fate,

And here we stand,
Upon our cause of light,
Find the way into the ring,
Eternity trancendent.

~Kaito "Adrian" Shigure / Kaineru

Flicker...
Flicker...
Thy flame of life,
Thy hope is lost,
Broken...
Empty,
Perish...
Death...
Time hath stolen so much,
And it spares nay...
Lost once again,
No more reason to be alive,
Flame of red hath darkened,
And the light thrown away,
A reason,
Why live now...
Why live tommorrow,
To look forward?
Where?
To the future?
A shining tommorrow,
But alas,
To some a light shines on their path,
But to some only their past,
For the path they have,
Leads to the abyss...
Darkness,
Hath claimed...
No light,
And in the end,
A bleeding wolf...
Dies and fades...
Into a blizzard...
Of blood.

~Kaito "Adrian" Shigure / Kaineru

Empty,
How does it feel?
Heavy...
Internal torment,
A life that cannot sustain itself any longer,
Left alone,
Again robbed,
But by far the most important thing...
A heart,
Collapsing,
Beyond repair...
A soul,
Shattered into fragments,
Like the sand in the desert,
Hope...
No more light,
Claimed....
By the eternal dark.

~Kaito "Adrian" Shigure / Kaineru

Darkness...
Plauges of blood and flesh,
A sould tormented and forgotten,
Given wings and fangs to feed,

A vampire's guise,
A new beggining,
Forgotten what was once,
And know what is now,

Yet within...
The light still sleeps,
A kindly ironic deathmerchant,
A vampire with a light,

Unafraid of the dark,
Unafraid of the light,
With a knowledge of one so vast,
And with the abilities of one so great.

A new road opens,
In the darkness there is light,
Follow the dim trail,
And find yourself in the maze.

~Kaito "Adrian" Shigure / Vampire Kaineru

It has been that long,
I've been crossing paths for so long,
Running from the dark,
That wished to consume me so.

But here I am now,
In the dark that I ran from,
Only to find...
Those that I threw away...

And those that I left behind,
A thought forgotten,
A life more miserable than before,
A form to be avoided,

But this is,
Who I am now,
And no matter what I do...
I cannot run from it any longer.

~Kaito "Adrian" Shigure / Vampire Kaineru

I started as a void,
A ripple in a tide of conciousness,
A voice without a heart,
To be born from dark depths,

I become as one died,
Born the sadness and the hatred,
Knowing only but lonelines,
And hated all who birthed happiness,

I was a lost soul,
Knowing nothing and had nowhere to go,
But a miracle of the light came,
In a flood of drifting snow,

But it was far away,
A soul reaching another,
A promise has been made,
And finally I was made whole,

I did my best I could,
But no matter I try I fail,
A promise I wanted to keep,
But the light flickered here and there,

My heart began to fail,
A past began to remember,
To be forgotten and left behind,
And to acknowledge the darkness that looms,

But out the light another came,
And unknown hand,
A friend from afar,
Lifted me up and gave me hope,

Again patched up as I am,
Tried his all into one that kept,
One as me to move and exist,
As long as I uphold that bond,

But time has once again bored holes,
In an already broken life,
A soul pieced like a mirror,
And a heart patched by unknown love,

And like the time before then,
It didn't matter how,
I knew what I did was lost,
And I knew once again I was left behind,

It was hard again,
I drifted in an ocean of death,
Tides took me again,
And the darkness claimed my light,

But there I realized an error,
I saw my shadow of darkness,
Those things I discard,
Those feelings I left behind,

I accepted my darkness,
One who I ran from long ago,
Another being I am now,
One of hatred and sadness,

A being of anger,
A being of loneliness,
But one who understands life,
And a heart that still longs for that life,

Another search for a broken soul,
One similar to mine,
Trying but unwanted,
A soul bound by time,

And time is all I have left,
To find a purpose in life,
In truth do I find in a promise,
Or another patched up heart,

I wander now as different being,
Far from who I used to be,
without now knowledge or destination,
To wander this sea with agony,

Will there be hearts to help me?
Will there be souls to guide me?
Will there be something waiting for me?
Or is it that my demise is enebitable?

Only time will tell,
An answer from the dark,
Or an answer from the light,
But I cannot answer that on my own,

Though I do know one thing,
That I suffered long and hard,
Alone I stood,
A wolf that cried,

Now a different stand I keep,
A vampire looking for a heart,
One to share this broken feeling,
But is shunned away by everyone,

Even without knowledge of acceptance,
I walk a new path,
Even with just this I know,
That somehow...

I will have a future...
I will complete my heart...
Or die in the darkness...
And I am content to find out.

~Kaito "Adrian" Shigure / Vampire Kaineru

NejinOniwa

Fuckdamn! That was long. I was feeling the smell of DEEP when I made the thread tho, so I guess its what you get for it huh -w-

I must say it was well written overall, but a few things ticked me off.
First: "Lelouch". All out of the blue. This doesn't make sense to those who haven't seen Code Geass (and those are quite numerous even among anime fans), and is totally out of place even if you understand it. It throws the pace off.
Secondly, it does not seem to be moving much for all its length, rather just like you're howling out the same sorrow with different words. Progress and process always intrigues the reader, and lack of it does the opposite.

I know it's sad to spout things like "Think of the reader" all the time, but that's what a writer has to do, if he wants to be read. (and that's what one does write for, usually.)

Anyway. Part 2. Longer this time. Criticism plz, i giev i take. This isn't yaoi you know -w-

_____________________________________________
DELUSIONS ARE DELUSIONAL ONLY IF THEY ARE UNREAL

-Pah, ah...the professor is scary.
Tic.
-But still, what in god's name was that? Or was I hallucinating?
Tac.
-Nah, can't be. That'd struck me earlier if that was the case. And man, I had such a chance to seep through all that stuff, too...gah. Curiosity kills any cat it gets its hands on, I guess.
Toe.
-Wait, what was that?
Excuse us. We believe it was caused by thine feet.
-My feet? Ah, that figures. They do usually go around more like clap, clop, clap, clop, crunch, clap, but I do guess even they have their days of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Tick.
-Satan take me, I AM delusional. Not a soul in sight, not on a Sunday in the university since it's closed, and I'm talking to someone claiming my feet are making weird sounds.
That would be some-many. Referring to ourselves in plural generally means we art not one, but many. Tick.
-Right. Sorry about that.
Tack.
-Wait. Tick, tack?
Tick?
-Ah, I see, I've gone so far I'm imagining clocks are talking to me. That makes sense.
Tack.
-Clocks, huh. So, clock, why would I be delusional today?
T...
-Don't be shy, clock, tell me all about it! And don't just stop like that, you'll lose your time.
Tick.
-By the way, I can't see any clocks around here, and I don't have a pocket watch or anything...where are you?
We believe we art positioned someplace a few inches below thine knee.
-My knee? Why, that's an unusual place to have a clock. Why are you there, clock?
We believe we came to position ourselves there by chance as we were floating out of the professor's chamber.
-I see. Well, I can't look under my knees, so I'll just have to take you up to my height to see what the time is, correct?
T...ick.
-Sigh.

___________________________

The freckles painted on his face had sweated away, but it didn't matter much now. He crouched, and slowly let his hands wander over his legs - first the left, then the right. Then the left again. He turned his head. Then he looked down.

___________________________

-Found you.
Tick.
___________________________

He reached for it. Then, just as his hand was a few centimeters above it, it was suddenly sprawled on his wrist. Its golden chains were rigid as legs, bent as tentacles, sharp as claws - it moved around invisibly, one second here, the next there. Finally its chains settled around his neck, with a soft, cold grasp.

___________________________

Tick.
-That isn't very comfortable, you know.

___________________________

Slowly, as if not to threaten it, he moved his hand towards it. A clawlike touch confirmed contact, and he moved his hand level to his eyes.

___________________________

Tack?
-I thought so. What are you, exactly? Do you have a name?
We believe you already know what we are. We are the Late Clock.
-That is not a name, and a Late Clock doesn't hold any specific meaning, that I know of.
T...T...T.
-Speak up. Can't hear you.
We are the Late Clock. We are Biocin, the Second Hand. We are Phucin, the Minute Hand. And we are Chiqancin, the Hour Hand. We are the Late Clock. We are Ta...keepers and lenders of Time. We believe you should know this, but if you insist you do not, then we must respond as so. Tick.
-Keepers and lenders, huh. You mean, like a bank?
T...
...Tick.

-What are your rates?

_____________________________________________

~END of Late Clock 2~
YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS

kaineru

Well it's from my Poetry Journal anyway... I guess I'm sort of a weirdo....

How about this, a snippet from Eternal Concert of Chaos...

♦ Cycle : What to fight for ♦

ZAFT Submarine

   â€œSo Athrun is lost somewhere in these islands near the ORB border?” Yumei asked me tilting her glasses and giving me a confused look. I looked at her then the others and exclaimed “Well, Nicole said that she saw them heading to the border through the clouds… And these Islands are the most likely place they’ll be.” Yzak gave me a confused look that signaled that he didn’t get what I meant, “He and that other person in that unknown fighter unit, meaning that the Archangel will be looking as well.” Yzak then gave an angry face and stomped the floor and shouted “Stupid Athrun… assigned as a leader only to get lost!” I shook my head and turned to Yumei and nodded at her; she nodded back and went beside me and I told the others that Yumei and I will take the task to look for him along with Nicole while Dearka and Yzak stay, with Dearka helping Yzak to cool off. Yzak nodded in agreement exclaiming that he’d stay here idle and let Athrun rot wherever he was. Nicole moving toward us and nodded at us we went to the hangar and readied to leave.

ORB Union FAR ISLANDS

Castaway Island, Hermit’s house

   â€œHey wake up… Wake up…” Athrun shouted at the girl shaking her. She woke up cold and wet. “Hey who are you… and where am I???” She shouted at Athrun and Athrun pointed at the fighter plane and said “You’re the pilot of that thing aren’t you?” She was stunned at hop back, and looked for something. “If you’re looking for a gun… both of us doesn’t have any.” Athrun told her and she stood there with malice in eyes, and shouted at Athrun; “And why should I believe you?” Athrun just looked down without any answer until a man behind them said “Because I saved you two and your menacing armaments.” The girl then dropped her guard and looked at the man. He had black hair that went down up to his neck, a red jacket and was taller than Athrun and very much looked like a fisherman. “You know I heard it’s bad luck to fish out pilots drenched in the sea.” He began to laugh at his statement, he then stopped and put down the net he dragged which was filled with holes and was almost torn apart, it seemed that he rescued them using that net. Putting the net on a small table in the small house he sat down on an old rustic chair and began to fix it and then looked at the two and said “You’re lucky to be alive… after being shot down by those ‘Red Monsters’ that have been roaming around lately.” Athrun shook his head and sat down and exclaimed that he never knew what happened except that they were engulfed with white light while on the air. Then he looked at the man and asked how they survived. The man smiled at him and the girl and answered “A man saved you… a man wearing bizarre armor…” The girl tilted her head, and asked “A man in armor?” Athrun’s eyes almosted popped out and stood shouting “KAMEN RIDER???” in a very surprised tone. The man is a little bit surprised and frowned then smile again saying “So you know of the Kamen Riders… Little people remember them now… calling them legends.” The girl shook her head and asked what were they talking about, Athrun turned to her and told her what Adrian had told him about them. It made her feel a little confused and distraught but nonetheless Athrun’s flustration over the subject made her a little comfortable and said that if such men exists that no wars and battle between people would be made. The man laughed saying that the riders are mere mortals themselves. Both his two guests then nodded their heads and began to feel comfortable about their situation, and after that the girl introduced herself “My name is Cagalli, what’s yours?” Athrun suddenly flustered again answered in a shaky tone making the man and Cagalli laugh and after him the two looked at the man and the man introduced himself: “My name is Jin… Jin Keisuke.”

   A few hours passed the two went to explore the island with Jin tailing them. Though the island was small it seemed to be populated, however not much people were there except for the three of them and the others were the local animals and the empty houses. Athrun turned at Jin while walking and asked “Is there any other people here?” Jin stopped and stared at the roaring ocean and began “Our world is not overcrowded but people have ideas to live in estrange places like this and run away… or others like me who just want some peace… but there is actually no peace or safety anywhere.” Athrun and Cagalli stared at Jin in a trance feeling his words true and inescapable. Jin looked at them for a while and then looked again at the ocean continued his statement “That is why there are people who fight… The Kamen Riders, the pilots like you two… the explorers and scientists… They fight with different reasons and in different ways… but they are all the same as long as there is a reason.” Jin then looked again at the two and asked them “What are your reasons to fight?” Cagalli went into an instant burst and put her fist on her chest and shout her reason “Of course for peace! I fight to end all the madness on this earth and save those in the crossfire! Is there any better reason?!” Jin shook his head and smiled at her, then looked at Athrun. He was looking down in deep though, thinking and remembering Adrian’s words about Adrian himself and his friend Kira: “He must have a reason to fight, and so do I… But you… How about you?” then asked himself ‘Why… why do I fight? WHY?’ Cagalli looked at Athrun seeing his despair, then sat down on the beach and Jin began shaking his head exclaiming: “You… don’t have one?” Athrun couldn’t answer, couldn’t move… the question stunned him greatly. ‘Why do I fight?’ he continued to ask himself. Cagalli then became slightly mad at Athrun and stood up and stomped on his foot. “Are you dense?” Cagalli angrily shouted as Athrun fell and Jin backed a little bit. “What kind of person are you? Coordinator or not you should have a reason to pilot that damn machine!!!” Cagalli pointed at the broken Aegis and began stomping angrily and ranting at Athrun for being dense and having no apparent reason to fight. Jin promptly backed off slowly and stared at them trying hard not to laugh. Cagalli being satisfied and calming down had let Athrun off the hook and Jin started laughing, Athrun could only just scratch his head. Cagalli then turned her attention to Jin, breathed in and out then asked, “Is the battles that made the people here leave?” Jin shook his head in reply. Athrun brushing himself off and standing up asked what was the reason, Jin gave him a stern look and answered that it was the ‘Red Monsters’ that drove them away. Cagalli shook her head and said “Those shift-changing freaks that appears in ORB and several places right? They change into anything red… Maybe they’re one of the weapons of those alien mongrels?” Athrun shook his head, and answered her saying “If they’re one of the alien weapons then were gonna rely on those Kamen Riders because nothing else goes through those monsters except their punches and kicks…” Cagalli hopped back in shock and asked Athrun “You fought those before?” Athrun nodded and pointed out his immobile Aegis and said that nothing the Aegis or any other units they have could pierce them. Jin then cut off the conversation saying “Take a rest… your units’ SOS signals should be reached by your comrades by now… and since your lucky your units are far from each other being enemies expect that no fights would happen here…” After that Jin left them alone seemingly dropping their guns and ammunition. “That guy never wanted us to fight…” Cagalli said while picking up their weapons and throwing to Athrun his. “Yeah whoever he really is, I think it applies to what he’s saying that he fought using his words and taught us something in return for nothing.” Athrun replied to Cagalli’s statement as he checked his weapon and turned to his Aegis. Then he turned back again and said “Maybe… just maybe if I was taught by someone like Jin earlier I would already have a reason. Though I have none for now, that reason would be filled once after a while. Fact is I entered ZAFT military because of my father’s wishes and did not ever go against his will… But the truth is maybe in fact… that I was just like a puppet, only to believe what he said to me… Yes… I do believe naturals and coordinators not fight, nor any other humans of Earth or those who transmigrated… but maybe…” Cagalli smiled at him for the first time and stopped his statement saying “We all have one… now all you need to do is find yours… Because I want you to have a clear head when we fight again in the battle field and maybe someday we’ll fight alongside… okay?” Athrun nodded and then thanked her and they parted for their own units.

   A few minutes passed and Athrun sat in his Aegis’ cockpit opening the communication lines to hear Adrian’s voice on the other end. “Where are ya buddy; I’ve been hailing you for the last hour after we picked up your signal and are heading there… and…. Are you alone because we seem to pick up another one…” said Adrian in the static scratchy tone, Athrun answered yes and told Adrian “Must be jamming cause there’s probably there’s trouble a brewing… maybe aliens…” Adrian’s voice went quite then answered again “Okay then… if that’s what you say…. Were going faster to your direction…. call us when those aliens do come.” The line falls silent as Athrun closes it and sits quietly on his unit’s cockpit. As he stared blankly in his friends arrival the ground begun to shake and fire began to pierce through his sights coming directly from the empty village. Hopping out and arming himself he sought for the direction of the explosions and comes to see Cagalli surrounded by red blobs and Jin wounded, Athrun fires twice giving them and opening, Cagalli instantly grabs it and stops shooting and drags Jin away, “Sorry… I shouldn’t have come back here… they followed me and Jin got hurt!” Cagalli told Athrun as she neared him while helping Jin up. Athrun was about to say something until Jin cut him off saying “Save it… You two should go back… You have to fight…” he said and pointed at Cagalli “For your love ones and those innocents and the peace that everyone wants…” And points at Athrun “And you… to find your own reason” Athrun was a little startled as Jin pushed Cagalli in his direction and turned on them. “Go… Your friends should be here to pick you up. I’ll distract them as you do…” Athrun and Cagalli was going to say but was stopped as Jin stretched his arms and then pulled his right in a fist down his hip and pushed his left upward diagonally shouting “DAI - HENSHIN!!!” in a flash of light the timid looking fisherman that they knew turned into a cyborg of silver and red. He turned to him and said “Go fulfill your duties… you have but a long way ahead of you…” Athrun and Cagalli didn’t asked and nodded and began heading for their respective destinations… to their immobile units but before that Athrun stopped and lookled at Jin “Who… who are you anyway?” the transformed Jin turned to him and answered “X… Kamen Rider X.” Athrun nodded; thanked him properly and left.

♦ Pause Cycle ♦

NejinOniwa

I can't follow that, srsly >_>

So, with advertising done, let's post part three.

_____________________________________________
THINGS COME AT A PRIZE REGARDLESS OF CURRENCY

His hair was longer now, and he looked unshaven. It was no proper beard, the one present on his chin, for his kind did not grow them - but he had managed, somehow.
The Late Clock seemed to hang around his neck - of course, it was not actually hanging, and likewise it did not move bounce an inch up or down when he walked. It made its own laws, and thus, its own gravity as well.

___________________________

Tick.
-Stop complaining. My work is my work, and regardless of what others may think, I am proud of it.
That is not what we are insinuating, Tack.
-Hm? Then you have some other opinions about it? Speak.
T...ick?
-Gah. Or whatever you call your kind of communication, I don't care of it, honest.
Talking, we would like to refer to it as.
-That's not what I was...
Talking is a Good Word. It has a pronounced, leading, Good Character. The character T. It is the character of Time, and thus a good character, for it is our character, for we are of the essence of it. Time, tick, tack.
-I get it, I get it. Then what were you going to "Talk" to me about, then?
The Topic of our Talk is that we believe ta...tick...
-Say it, you.
We believe you are running out of credit.
-...what?
As we Talked. We believe you are running out of credit. Credit, also a word with the character T, of Time, means you have borrowed something, on contract, a word which also contains a pronounced T.
-Stop it with the T-thing already. What do you mean, credit?
We find it satisfying to give attention to the honorable words that contain the character T. It is now our policy to do so whenever we wish.
-Biocin. Stop already, I know you're the one behind this, you attention-deficit second hand. Phucin, Chiqancin. What's the contract and credit about?
...We apologize for having you notice our lack in uniformity. It is a shame on us as the Hands of the Late Clock. We will not let it happen again. We, as the role of Biocin, would like to assure that this was not intentional, merely an act of instinct. We, as the role of Phucin, must tell you that we feel very sorry for you as a contractor to notice the failings of our unity.
-Yes, yes, I get it...Chiqancin?
...Unfortunately we must tell you that since the current Time is not within reasonable range of an even hour, Chiqancin is not able to Talk.
-Weirdo. Anyway. Contract, credit. What about it?
Tack. We assume we are correct when we say we informed you during our first Talk that we were Ta...keepers and lenders of Time. You were informed that our rates were the same as the speed at which you wish to move through time.
-...that was like what, five years ago, seriously. But yeah, I have a vague memory of that.
Tick. You have since then been lent time from the bank, to use as your own, in addition to what you already have. Since this puts you in debt to us, we assumed your own, unused time, as credit.
-Wait. You mean, the rest of my life?
That would be a correct interpretation from your viewpoint. Up until now, you have been lent quite precisely twenty-six years of time.
-What!? I've used that much? Does that mean my life will end when I turn fifty, or something?
Not exactly.
-Then what does it mean?
We did not account for the rates. Counting them in, your debt to us is...
Tack. Forty-two years. Tick.

___________________________

He scratched his beard, and hung his head. Looking around, and finally settling on a random point in the sky, he sighed heavily.
___________________________

-...shit.
Your assumed lifespan is approximately seventy years. You are now twenty-five years old, biologically. This means you have three years of time left. Tack.
-So...I'll die in three years?
Not exactly.
-Speak clearly for once, damnit! This is my life we'll talking about, if I don't die then what in time's name happens!?
The amount of your debt in time is taken from you, and placed in the custody of the Late Clock.
-You get my time...?
Yes. Your time will become the Late Clock's time, and you will be its hand, its employee. You will be a subordinate of the Late Clock, and your time will be used in the way we wish.
-...basically, I'll be your slave for the rest of my life. That sounds very entertaining.
Not quite. We sense the negativity you put into the word "slave" and we would like to assure you this is not your fate. You will be employed by us, and thus, we will give you your monthly salary. In our currency, tack, Time, tick.
-Still doesn't quite appeal to me, you know. I'd like a fairer deal. I need more than three years to sort things up before I can hand in my resignation to my current employer. You gotta know how that business works, right?
...Tack.
-Good. Then, what is the new deal? How much time do I get?
Tick. That depends.
-Depends? Don't get shady when you argue with a man's life at stake, you!
We are not shady. We are simply stating the fact that the amount of time you get is variable, depending on the time you are ready to take.
-Take? What do you mean?
___________________________

The Late Clock, for the first time in years, released his throat from the light, firm grip of its clawing chains, and floated in the air before his face.
___________________________

If you can take time from others, and give it to us, then we will consider your debt reduced. Taking into consideration the state of the world, we will also accept other ways you may explicitly see to that we acquire more Time. As compensation for not having mentioned this earlier we will also, if you agree to this, remove the rates on your debt during the time you have left of your own. The Late Clock Talks, and we assure this is better than a fair deal.
-Look...er...or whatever you call it...I get what you sa- er, mean, and it sure sounds good but...how would I go about getting more time to the Late Clock?
...tack. We believe the answer is simpler than it seems.
-Wait...you don't mean...
Tack. A person's time is never certain, but every individual has a certain value - that is, the time they have yet to use. If you can acquire that time, take it from them and make sure they do not use it, we can acquire it, and your debt would be reduced, tick.
-...Kill?
How unsurprising. But it is a correct assumption. That would be a most valid - while perhaps not the most effective, certainly the most simple, in your case - way of conduct.
-Hey, no sweat. If it just was this you wanted to tell me, then you could've skipped the small talk. If that's all, my debt will be gone in no time at all.
It will be a pleasure doing business with you.
___________________________

He trotted off the town square, and walked towards the slums. This was going to be a long, long night.
_____________________________________________


~END of Late Clock 3~


Woo~ -w-
YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS

Toki

I am not much of a writer but I suppose I can post some stuff from Jericho Waning.

Beginning: Metanoia

The root is of course the World Tree, Yggdrasil, who receded back into the earth when given the task of holding the entity known as Lilith, Adam's first wife. Through these millenia Lilith has been cauterized until her soul and the soul of the tree are nearly one. Together their essense forms a great contingence that allows the God tree to reap life from the core of the macrocosm and the world of souls. Not any souls, only souls who have sinned greatly, they are the only with a mark great enough for the Lilith to grasp and harvest. In a final attempt to qwell the ever scintillating Lilith, the Yggdrasil incarcerated the Lilith's soul inside of a mortal soul, but Lilith's hold on the Yggdrasil was so great that it's soul was also sealed. The quintessence of the tree and the Lilith remained, glimmers and shadows of what they were yearning for their eternal souls. Without concious they are slowly drawn from the ambience of the world, bringing with them the renaissance of the world. The apokalupsis eschaton. But the corruption of humanity is too great, and like the cochroaches they crawl from their redemption to continue their debauched existance.  
The yggdrasil and the Lilith still yearn for their souls, their immortal sorrow ever so slowly tearing the dying earth apart. With the Lilith among them, the Mother of sin, sins of men has become less and less dilutted, condensing and manifesting into an infectious disease. Men with this disease follow the path of Lilith, causing their souls to be harvested by the Yggr in their death. Yggdrasil mourns it's subjugate to the Lilith and foreswears it's title as The Tree of Life. The people can feel it. The core of the earth is desintigrating. Little more than a shell of it's former self, Nageki no Ki, the Tree of Lament bends to the Lilith's will.
One asks... where is God? Where has he gone...? And the lilith only laughs.
CUTE IS JUSTICE!!

NejinOniwa

Interesting.
Though, why does everyone write so much DEEP and GRIMDARK stuff anyway?

WHERE IS THE HUMOR! We lack it!
I tried, and it was just dark humor in the end too ;_;
YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS

Toki

Everything else is for humor o.o You clearly stated that this thread was for SERIOUS BUSINESS only :3
CUTE IS JUSTICE!!

NejinOniwa

I mean srs.biz as in no rampaging off-topic, not only serious-mode literature. Oi.

I mean, if there weren't any jokes in any books anywhere on the market, what'd that make it? SUCKY.

Thus, we need some more light-hearted stuff as well, not just GRIMDARK and DEEP.

If you have provisions...do share. -w-

Now, I'll give you a short, pervy poem. Pervy as in the sense of really weird fetish-feeling.
_W_

BLOODxLUST

Blood.
The sharp smell of iron from your every vein
Gushing forward.
You look delicious, with the vessels of blood speckling you
Like freckles underneath your skin.
Tie them together, make a rope of the tastiest thing there is
Sling it round my neck, kill me with the warmth of your blood.
I'll let you have me, kill me as many times as you ever wish
For just a sip, a gulp, and the eternal bliss of that pungent smell
Of you, your deepest, your life, your heart, your core.


Yum. -w-

Added after 4 minutes:

I'M ON A ROLL SO I POST MORE STUFF

Old stuff, in fact. For those who remember RP 2 this is from EWAR, that setting world.

I Thorbai Lar'jao
Two Ki Kaeiqie'm Atari



It is said, by men and man,
that nothing rise from darkness,
but fallacy those words are now
and truth is our king.

He saw the first light of the world
take form and shape its soul.
thus he was born before the light
and light was born from him.

Yet light was gone when that soul
saw naught but dark and nothing.
A vengeful eye in a shroud of calm
and all it saw was nothing.

And then it came to soul of light
that nothing was a man;
A man all black and buried
with darkness hand in hand.

And thus we came to see, to know,
that light is lack of darkness;
creation's black and 'struction's white;
Yet nothing is perception.

Beyond they see, they made beyond,
and light and dark they tamed;
and light but rose from creation's dark
and truth is our king.


Excerpt from Verses of Dedication, found in the burnt library cellars of Seastower.
YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS

kaineru

This is a some lines I like from Aile Ark 1:

Kaineru: It's hard being human....
Kasumi: Sucks to be you...
Kaineru: You're still human you know...
Kasumi: Not any more..... (Sticks out tounge)
Kaineru: She's far from the original....

Kenzaki: The wind tells you everything....
Kaineru: And....?
Shana: I can't feel any wind....
Alastor: Humans sure is interesting...
Kenzaki: I'm not human....
Kaineru: Joker....

Ryoma: STOOOOOOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR SUUUNNNSHHHIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEE!!!!!
(Shin Getter destroys a whole fleet of Zaft forces)
Dearka: I wish the buster could do that.
Krushe: That could be arranged....
Dearka: No thanks....

IanDanKilmaster

RESURRECTION!  Sorry, I know I promised this a loooong time ago (I told Nej I'd provide a sketch for his critique), but I got started on it and never got around to finishing it, until now, that is.  I typed this sketch in a mix of screenplay and stage formats, so it may look a bit odd (I use that method because I find it's easier to get stage directions in).  Anyway, pardon if it is unfunny - I think I might have lost a few of the better jokes in the long downtime I wasn't working on it.  Also, I must stress it is NSFW (due to sexual language), as you can see I've hidden it.  Sorry about the length as well, it might be taking up the whole page - I'll post a link to a .doc of it if preferred...

Quote
The Collector
by
Mutually Assured Dysfunction



The scene opens with friends AL and TOM playing a video game.

AL:
Oh, hohohoho here it comes... Tiger Genocide!  In yo' face!  In yo' face!

TOM:
Man, whatever, this is bullshit.

AL:
Dude, you're just mad 'cos I beat that ass!

TOM:
Whatever, I was beating your ass until you bitched to have Sagat unbanned.

AL:
Well now who's bitching?  That's right I won, you didn't, ha!

Phone rings

Hold on a second man, man.  (Answering phone) Hello?

CALLER:
Hello, is Alan Stanley there?

AL:
Um, who is this?

CALLER:
This is Mr. Craven from Dawg Collections, the collection agency representing Arkham University on your outstanding balance of $20.  I need to know if you are able to take care of this past due bill at this time.

AL:
Oh. (Hangs up)

TOM:
Who was that?

AL:
I don't know, some bill collector from the university or something.

TOM:
Well it's getting late and some of us have jobs...

AL:
(Jokingly) Yeah, get the fuck outta my office.

TOM:
(Laughing) More like cubicle, later. (Exits)

AL:
(Shouting down the hallway) Come back when you're ready for another ass-whoppin'. (Closes door, grabs bag of microwavable pork rinds, throws them in microwave, starts keying in the settings) Gonna have me some pork rinds!  Unh, yeah!  And some... heart disease!  Yeah... the fuck?!  Seems like an odd thing to...

Phone rings

(Answering phone) Yo!

CALLER:
Hello, is...

AL:
No! (Hangs up) Hopefully that'll be it, I don't have anything for those shitheads...

Phone rings

(Answering phone) Listen asshole!

CALLER:
No you listen, you little bitch!  If you hang up on me again I'll gut you like a fish, understand!

AL:
Is this some kind of joke?

CALLER:
More of a game really... Can you handle that BALDIE?!

AL:
(Visibly shocked) Are you stalking me?  Where the hell are you?

CALLER:
(Laughing) Do you really wanna know?

AL:
What the hell do you want?

CALLER:
I told you that already - I'm calling to collect on your debt!

AL:
Listen you, I'm unemployed and I live in a cramped studio apartment that my parents pay for - what am I going to pay you with, patheticalness?

CALLER:
YOU PAY MONEY, NOW!

AL:
Gah! (Hangs up)

The pork rinds left in the microwave suddenly explode, making a gunshot-like sound

(Ducking for cover) SHIT! (Realizing that it was just the microwave) The fuck?!  Damn microwave never works right!

Phone rings

Sonnovabitch! (Answering phone) I already told you dammit!

GIRL CALLER:
I was only calling to see if you wanted me to come over and cook something and I was thinking of giving you a blowjob.  You're such a prick, Al!

AL:
Baby wait, I'm sorry...

GIRL CALLER:
I don't want to hear it! (Hangs up)

AL:
Dammit!

Phone rings

(Answering phone) Oh baby, I'm so sorry...

CALLER:
Try again. (Laughs)

AL:
You again?  Shit.

CALLER:
Just give me what I want and this will all be over, but if you don't...

AL:
You'll what?!  You've already cost me a hot meal and a night with my fellatrix - I don't see how you could make things any worse for me...

Power goes out

DAMN! (Audibly worried) Well, that's just great... goddamn superintendent was supposed to install a fucking backup generator.  The fuck is going on?!

Power flickers back on

Phone rings,
AL picks it up

CALLER:
Now do you see that I mean business?

AL:
(Audibly shaken) Yes, certainly.

CALLER:
YOU PAY MONEY, NOW!

AL:
I've already told you that I have no income.  Would you accept some other form of payment, (Glaring at microwave) overcooked pork rinds, perhaps?

CALLER:
I think not, but how about we work out some sort of "physical arrangement"?

AL:
(Gulps) Umm, I don't think I wanna do that.

CALLER:
No one ever does, initially, but you'll learn to like it.  Hey, you live in room 411, right?

AL:
NOOOOOO! (Hangs up)

Steps can be heard nearer and nearer the door until a mysterious figure knocks at the door

AL:
(Cowering behind the bar, murmuring to himself) Shit, I forgot to lock the door!

Door opens revealing it is TOM who has been knocking

TOM:
(Peering around the bar) Great hiding spot, man. (Laughs)

AL:
Wait, so you're saying it was you the whole time? (Sighs) You got me good, man.

TOM:
(Laughing) You are such a gullible bitch, man.  I think you've been watching too many slasher flicks.

AL:
(Indignant) So hold on, it's your fault I didn't get a blowjob?!

Bitchfight ensues a la Beavis & Butthead until the phone rings which AL then picks up

CALLER:
YOU PAY MONEY, NOW!

AL is left with a puzzled expression

END SCENE


EDIT: Pardon the abundant use of dialect... hopefully it's not too annoying...

EDIT 2: Made a minor correction to the script, if you noticed the error before, it should make more sense now.

The Choice of a New Generation.

NejinOniwa

WHY SO /WHITE?
Other than that, quite interesting. Sounds quite much like something out of a tv series, but you can't really place the genre due to everything jumping around all over the place. The girl call puts a lol twist to it as well, lol -w-;

The way you ended it is twisty, making the reader expect a followup; however, it could've been better done. Mostly, the end expression being "confused" isn't something you'd think of as ideal; it's generally more useful in the middle of things. Try to think of a better choice of words, or you can change it to something else.

Also, it's a bit wasted on this medium, since in this kind of work you'd expect a good fill of PAUSE FOR SUSPENSE all over the place. Doesn't work in script form very well, but yeah, I think you knew that one already.

Another downside with making the thing script-style is that you can't get too much "inside" the characters; you can't hear their thoughts, and so on. That makes the macho man - who doesn't show much on the outside - a very dull figure emotionally. Dunno how to solve this well, but remember that.

I'll see if I find anything else on it; otherwise, GJ. Interesting and good read, man!
YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS

IanDanKilmaster

Quote from: "NejinOniwa"
WHY SO /WHITE?


All the dudes and mans, yeah, that bothered me a bit too.  As I said, pardon the dialect. XD

Quote
Other than that, quite interesting. Sounds quite much like something out of a tv series, but you can't really place the genre due to everything jumping around all over the place. The girl call puts a lol twist to it as well, lol -w-;


Thanks Nej.  I was trying to avoid TV sitcomness, but I spent so much time trying to set jokes up that I guess it was bound to come out that way.  So this was intended to be something like what you'd see on a sketch comedy show (preferably on stage, not TV).  The jumping around is probably due to me rushing the whole deal - I hate it when things seems to drag along with nothing going on.  The problem is that this forces things where the should not be, and it seems so unnatural.  The jumping around may also be due to my writing style, which is more or less a stream of consciousness with very little censorship (not so much the language thing, but more an internal "peer review" type thing).  The girl call wasn't originally going to be in the sketch, but it was something that just came to me.  I was actually worried it would've been considered unnecessary, but I'm glad it works, thank you.

Quote
The way you ended it is twisty, making the reader expect a followup; however, it could've been better done. Mostly, the end expression being "confused" isn't something you'd think of as ideal; it's generally more useful in the middle of things. Try to think of a better choice of words, or you can change it to something else.


I wasn't going for Shyamalan type thing with all the twists, but I can definitely see it now.  I was trying to use the confused thing as a punchline, just a "WTF moment", but I can see your point.

Quote
Another downside with making the thing script-style is that you can't get too much "inside" the characters; you can't hear their thoughts, and so on. That makes the macho man - who doesn't show much on the outside - a very dull figure emotionally. Dunno how to solve this well, but remember that.


Yeah, originally I was wanting to explain more in the script, but I came to that realization as well.  I figure I can script an "origin story" of sorts, but at the same time I think that if this script (or a revised version of it) were acted out more of the characters would come through.

Quote
I'll see if I find anything else on it; otherwise, GJ. Interesting and good read, man!


Thank you very much, I really value the input - it'll certainly help on my next work (I'm actually planning on using the same characters for an entirely different story).

The Choice of a New Generation.

NejinOniwa

It's good to see that my criticism seems worthwhile at least ^^
Since I'll be taking a one-year authoring course, that's gonna be necessary...

Right now I don't have anything new (or old) to post though, but I'll probably write some in the LAND OF THE SETTING SUN, now won't I?

>:3
YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS

Chocofreak13

most of what i write on scrap paper is stupid little notes or titles of songs. but i'll dust off an old favorite:
"PEACH'S POEM FOR KALAMARI DESERT"
"the friends on the train are watching me
home is where i'd like to be
i can't go home i am a star
i'd just like to know where my true friends are"

my first poem :3

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