Story writters needed...

Started by CaptBrenden, July 25, 2005, 12:13:10 AM

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Agelu

 It's alright. Im sorry if i pressed you much, but quality over cuantity normaly is better. That is, take your time if you need to. BTW, don't feel bad to just send simple sketches!  :heh:  

CaptBrenden

 Work is killing meeeeeeee....  :wacko:  I got some decent sketches ill work on getting scanned... tho i need to work on my own style, it looks alot like akamatsus work and id hate to be called a copy cat >.<

Ill see what i can do between work and stuff. they have been working me like a dog since i got back from vacation.. from like 0400 to 1900 most days o.o
"YOU IDIOT!!" -Kasen Ibara

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Agelu

 If you say so :mellow: ... i guess.. we must wait.... and wait... and...

Fedora-Tan

 OK so as Agelu said, this requires a team, and to begin at least 1 person that will put together the ideas and try to make the general storyline in a clean way. That would be very nice if anyone could take care of that, just post here if you're interested - you'll be sort of "official storyliner". That doesn't mean this guy will get all the work, it's just a person to put together all ideas and try to sort that out.

I think it's really the first step to avoid tons of splitted ideas from there to there.

Anyone interested so far ? (goal n°1 : write the general storyline, even a quick way)

Tsuteto

 Damnit... you don't know how much I would LOVE to write a story line for this... but unfortunately, I've got my own project I'm working on (one-player game storyline thingy for GunZ).  That, in itself, may take a year to get even 30% done.

However, if you people ever need ideas, feel free to contact me.  That's about all I can do.

CaptBrenden

 well keep that in mind. its ideas that we are having problems with right now
"YOU IDIOT!!" -Kasen Ibara

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CaptBrenden

 Right well (OMG Im double posting, panda please dont kill me!!)

Since Its mostly my project at the moment, Ill start laying things down, maybe it will get the Idea flowing for you guys. This is mostly going ot be some free flowing brain storming, so everything is up for discussion.

First off, the goal is to create a herem/exotic girlfriend romantic slightly ecci comedy story.   This will best be accomplished I belive with having the "user" (working name for now) as the main character surrounded by the differnet OS girls who all seem to be nuts for him (to differnt degrees).  Now this basic jumping off point already starts to bring more Ideas to mind.

Now since he has all the OS girls nuts for him, for comedy purposes i think it would be natural that his in not good with girls.  conflict and funny situations ensue. Lets say, he is a geek. makes sence.  Not overly athletic, popular at work/school (depends on what age we want him.) too many storys like this take place in schools, so lets say he is a computer programer or something at work.  

I think he should be smart, a nice guy, just not very confident in himself. No luck with women up untill this point.  I dont think he should should have the catostrophic bad luck that most characters of this type and genera normaly have.  More like Suguru Misato rather the Kitaro Urishima.  

Now for him to interact with the girls, he either has to be where they are, or they have to be where he is. If he is a computer programer for say a advanced technology company, that leave many possible ways for either to be done.  Im more inclined to say they come to the real world, because that makes things a bit more interesting, as he has to teach the girls to get along in real human society. Thats not to say there cant be parts where he goes to the "computer" relm.

Now another Idea has come to mind.  a grand plot Idea sort of thing.  However he makes the manifest, it probobly has to do with his work.  He will of course keep that secret, or try to which is hard when you have girls riding around in animated cardboard boxes, or poping up translucent screens and stuff like that.   I can already see him pulling his hair out over the things ME will do in public.  

Down the line however, He will most likely be found out.  Those girls could be concidered property since they are programs, and one hell of an advancement in technology, so the company that he works for may try to claim them or exploit them (microsoft!! XD) thats and Idea for at least on major storyline.

How they can become manifest:  Thats the tought one. It could range anywhere from robots (Ie some kind of accident with robotics like Toy Soldiers)  real girls poping out of computer screens like weird science or AI Love you, a Matrix kind of computer world, or maybe some kind of technological device like say a portible solid holigram projector like the doctor in Star Trek voyager.

With the Later Idea it could be somekind of experimental device that gets sent to the wroung department, gets miss labled or the like and it ends up in our heros hands and he unwittingly installs his OS programs in it.  again he can keep it a secret but one day someone is going to go looking for the missing hardware.

Now the girls.  I think for now at least we should limit it to just the basic OSes.  Spicificly 3.1 and dos cat, 95, 98 and 98se(maybe just one for now), ME, 2K, and XP.  Others can be added along the way, or when he gets to the os world thats where we can show them all.  Kinda like (for those who have seen it) bleach. they had the basic crew of characters at the begining, but as soon as Ichigo and friends go to soul society they introduced a SHIT TON of new characters, doing all sorts of side plots with all of them.  For instance In our case, maybe 98 comes back to her sister SE and has some kind of side thing all about her.  

Now the reason for going there may be tied to the company and trying to save the girls.  Something like the company takes them back, and to save them he has to dive into the computer and rescue them from the inside.  Who knows, thats down the way.

He will need to have a place of his own, and a budget that can support his new room mates.  probobly has an impressive home computer system for when he takes his work home with him.  The more remote his location the the better chance he has of keeping them quiet from the public.  

Oh I just had another idea.  The objects in question.  They could have been designed secretly by someone.  Maybe his rival in another department.  The rival however could be as close as you can get to a villan in the series.  He created the objects for some sinister purpose, but somehow our hero stumbles upon them and creates the girls with it.  Since the Rival/villan created them in secret, and the company dosent know about it, That keeps the girls safe for a time.  However, the Rival while freaking out looking for his precious little devices (because Im sure they have incriminating evidence) starts to notice the weird girls following around our main character, finds out what they are and then kidnaps them for his own twisted ends.  our hero will have to save them. this is of course after having lived and had plenty of fun and bonding time.  The OS will have evolved past being just programs, to beings with sould who love and all that.  an emotional part im sure.

the devices the girls have, tho need to be hashed out too.  It should make the girls seem at real as possible, but grant them their unique powers.  Being able to change visual styles/ costumes) manifesting objects, 95s sword, those floating screens around 2k, MEs onion o.O  

For the girls:

Im not sure what kind of person 3.1 is going to be, but shes going to be quiet i think, always carrying around DOS.  She will probobly be a very simple quiet personality to represent how basic and simple 3.1 was.

95 is going to be the motherly type she is often potrayed to be, with flash backs to her warrior days againt mac.  A very scary lady when upset, so the girls will learn not to cross her.  She will be mostly technologicly inept, just as she is often potrayed.  Things like the comic where the other girls are trying to explain to her about USB and internet though things other then a Modem.  I think she will care for the main character like a mother, but she will deffinatly have that older more experienced woman appeal.

98 will be a shinobu like character.  Quiet shy and the like. Especialy around the User who she will have a crush on.  Her best friend will be her boxton who will mostlikely need a name (someone should look it up as to wether it already has a name im not aware of) The box will be her item she can call forth or manifest, and it will probobly have differnt forms, from the normal box to the giant mecha.  Hehe I love this character type, getting all blushy and flustered around the main guy.  Kawaii!  Unlike shinobu tho, she isnt as young and nieve. She is one of the oldest girls after all.  She will probobly have a complex about the girls treating her like a kid dispite her age.

Me, well I think there is enough about Me that I wont have to draft her out much. Clutz, baka, goof.  Catostrophic bad luck, mostly her own fault.  Stilly tho, mostly comic relife.  her relationship with the user will be she views him as a innocent crush/brother/playmate.  She likes him, but its more of a friendly like, unlike 98s romantic crush.  2K will nearly always be nearby her, trying to overt what ever disater that ME is about to cause.

2k is the serios character.  Allways dependable, always working.  She will serve as the Users best ally in the battle to keep the girls under control and a secret.  If there in knowlage that is needed, it will come from her. If he needs advice she will most likely be the one to give it.  She will be usefull for moving the story along and explaining the setting.  when all the girls first meet the user and he is trying to figure out whats going on, the most straitforward awnsers and such would come from her.  and when looking to save them, or solve some sort of problem for them, she would be the one to guide him or tell him what to do.  She likes him romanticly too, but her serios personality and such makes her think that its not proper.  kinda like say, mohoro.  "I could never have feelings like that for my master! It just wouldnt be proper of me!"  Again she will often be overting disater the others cause, especialy ME

then I think out of the girls I mentioned for our core group, XP is the last.  Shes going to be the party girl.  Alot of the ecchi part of the comedy will come from her.  She will love the drink (the best invention in this new world that shes discovered!) and will often be very forcefuly hitting on the user only to be bapped on the head by 2k.  Gambling, loud music, partys, fancy clothing.  basicly anything she can spend the users money on.  Oh and the food.  She will be eating him out of house and home. Im now sure why a hologram will need to eat, but like I said, the device that makes them manifest will make them real as possible. body warmth, the need to eat, sleep and such, and the ability for aclohol to effect them.  

now there has to be downfalls to. the girls are most likely (and logicly) weak to heat.   overheating processors on the devices and they get twitchy. we can say they are safe from water, because the device will be inside their manifest bodys.  Also, down the line when dealing with the rival, they could be vulnerable to bugs or viruses.  maybe even remote control (an interesting series of comics where the girls are working against the hero against their will, or as the rival tries to force them to love him maybe (hes evil, and they are hot and controlable.  If I was a villan id do it too.)  

anyhow, I think Ive wrote enough for tonight.  All those interested in this project, please speak up, say what you think of each Idea, Expand on them, add to them, if you dont like something, say why and propose a alternitive.  Also, state what you want to do on the project.  If you want to write, let me know. if you want to do all the drafting out work, coming up with the world and characters, personalitys and all that, say so. If you want to help with the art, especialy let me know, and also let me know what your capable of.

we will need to set up a project team, team leader (me currently since im trying to spearhead this)  several writers, artists, web work.  We need to establish a way to post out current and more finalized plans online for everyones reference.  that way everyone is on the same sheet of music for the stuff weve agreed on.  We aso need to set GOALS.  goals will get things done. set deadlines, long and short term goals.  and most of all, try and MEET them.  If you all want to do this, we need to be dedicated to get it done.  You have to really want to do it, and be willing to put forth the effort. the more people that do, the less that will be needed from each person.  A smaller workload for each will make its compleation more probable.

Please, discuss everyting.  Let me know what you agree with too, and if you all dont say anything about something, Im going to assume its good to go and go with it.


Our first goal:  Have a team listing by friday.  By friday we should have a team, what thier job is, and from there we can set a goal for each of them.

Also, lets have at least a working Title for it by friday as well.  I have no dea on that part, im horrible with names.  We also need a working name for the User by then.

3 simple goals, we can do this, so lets get to it people!
"YOU IDIOT!!" -Kasen Ibara

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Darknight_88

 Like it, the story sounds good. It sounds to me like a "harem anime" story, right?
The only idea that i have its about the "holographic dispositive". Here, i have 2 opinions:
1)The tech aspects shouldnt be used a lot. In fact, there are some comic strips that have the Toshiaki interacting with the OS, without any explanations. That would make things more easy, but the problem its that it'll be less original =/
2)Keep the tech factor (we are talking about OS, so obiously, it must have a huge tech factor...), the holographic dispositive would be the most realistic. The main plot at the beginning should be the search of they way the OS-tans came to our world. Then, as the story keeps evolving, the "evil" OS'es should appear, and fighting them  becomes the main plot. I WANNA SEE A BATLE BETWEEN MAC AND 95-TAN!!!!!!^o^. Linux should appear too, but no idea about how...helping our fellow Windows OS?, or trying to destroy them?, neutral maybe?


Looks like none of the goals were accomplished by now. u_u

CaptBrenden

 yes... we failed to meet our first goals but that shall not hinder our efforts! we shall jsut have to set a more realistic schedual.. 3 days on here.. that wasnt much.

I was thinking abotu the hologram thing:

Our hero is a programer.  maybe he developed interactive AI programs ment to be visual interfaces to the OSes.  Lets say, in the first issue, he is presenting his project to the "commity" and gets shot down because they cant see the financial benifit of it, and creating them for older OSes is just well stupid from a commercial point of view.  Who supports older systems these days? cirtanly not microsoft "hi im having problems with my windows 95"  "Im sorry sir, we cant help you with that, maybe you should upgrade to windows 98?"  "my machine cant run 98" "maybe you should upgrade your system?"  "....."

anyhow.  our hero Is mostlikely an otaku and an exentric.  the type of person who likes to use old things, have strange dodads and gizmos, like interactive interfaces that look like girls, but the company dosent see the practicality of it and they "scrap his project" and he takes his precios girls home.  Our hero is dishertened untill he finds the holo thingies.

now say his rival was also at that meeting... when things start getting weird.. he may catch on to the fact that the strange girls runnign around are the girls that were in his presentation.. and they seem to be able to do what his holo dohicky was soppose to do, keeing him into whats oging on alowing him to cause his mischif.  now say the same individual steals some code and makes counter programs.. such as mac or linux.  thus we have ouir rival os tans.

"YOU IDIOT!!" -Kasen Ibara

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Agelu

 PERFECT JOB Capt., recopiling all that stuff. Excellent. We REALLY should set a deadline, for specifing the main makers of this. (and contribuitors) without a certain deadline, this could extend forever. If something like even 3 people are really working on this, more could come soon. Capt., could you do a sketch of a OS girl with his master to his side? To get some ideas...

EDIT: The story should begin with the main hero (name needed) remembering how he used to operate OS up to ME, good, bad, nightmare things, and now he has XP. OS Tans see how slowly XP is being used more and more, and independiently (spelling?) they do some stuff to attract attention... But i really think that Master should have 2 PC's with different OSes, like i posted somewhere... (refer to that)  :gba:  

CaptBrenden

 Im going to have to re post all of that in a more logical manner..in the new official story thread.  that way we can discuss it there.


Im workign on concept drawings of the main character.. but who knows for him yet, we arnt even sure what kinda guy he is, and his visual cues should support that.  Tho visual concept work is gonna be done in the artwork thread.
"YOU IDIOT!!" -Kasen Ibara

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Pitkin

Alright, I failed to leave for bed after all...

I don't know if I'm able to offer anything new, but after reading the earlier ideas, I thought of some kind of possible "characteristics" for the girls.

First, Win2k-tan (I like calling her Nisen-san as it sounds a bit more humane without the number part ^^; ). Her way of speaking could be extremely formal, especially when talking to the "user" character; she could begin her sentences with something like "I would advice you to..." or "It might be the most beneficial to...", and such. On the other hand, she's the one most likely to go "WHAT?!" and completely blow her top when being informed of what the other girls have been doing again. The serious "class rep" type of person, who someone could call unflexible and completely out of the sense of humour. Also, she could have this serious inferiority complex to her younger sister (XP, hint hint) when it came to the size of her "memory", or like most people say, bust. ^^;

WinXP-tan (or Ekusupii-san to pathetically try make it sound more humane again :D). Her way of talking could be (not sure of this one, just a quick thought) very much more on the informal side. Being the "trendy, party-loving" character, she might want to use phrases like "totally cool" or "I'm, like, totally for it!", and the only occasion where she would ever use words like "please" would be when it came to getting seconds. Her hobby could be balancing between eating snacks and looking after her weight. :P

WinME-tan (again, Emuii-san to use as pseudonym for neighbours/others ^^; ). To her goofy overall character, it might fit to have her mood change like a little girl's; most of the time she'd be like "Waaai! Shopping! Shopping! Waaai! Waaai", waving her hands and so, but most of the time she'd end up saying "Sorry. (expression like v_v)" or "That's mean. (again, expression like v_v or -_-)" to Win2k or Win98. Because of her poor understanding of the surroundings she'd be very enthusiastic learning new things, which of course she would most of the time mess up completely while trying to mimic them. Hobby could be something like 10-piece jigsaw puzzles.

Win98-tan (no any kind of idea for a "pseudonym" for her; "Kujuuhachi-san" sounds even clumsier than the earlier ones... edit: "Eeto-san", from the English word for "eight" :P). The Shinobu Maehara-san model pretty much sums it up for her, so I don't have much to add. She could perhaps end up doing some chores with WinME-tan whenever Win2k-tan is, for some reason, unavailable. She'd be the one panickily screaming "Noo! Put that thing down, ME-tan!" or "Why do these things always happen to mee~~?!". She could be the unluckiest (not really clumsy like WinME-tan) of the OS Girls, most of the time ending up as the suffering party when she's involved.

Win95-tan (no real ideas for pseudonyms either). Again, the earlier model presented sounds perfect. Perhaps she could be extremely reliable in the kitchen and in the so-called traditional household chores like laundry and such, but when it comes to anything like DVD players, broadbands, hydrogen cells or technology in general, she'd usually just blank out and end up poking the item in question with her finger and going "oh me, oh my...", and explaining it to her wouldn't really do anything. Most of the time smiling gently, but always carrying her sword, just in case.

What do you think of these? Any comments? Good, bad? I know, anything I wrote wasn't exactly revolutionary, but I thought those sides could work out for the characters. If something's completely "out of character" or unacceptable, don't be afraid of telling me; these were just some quick thoughts and I won't get offended if they get lynched. :D

edit: I disabled the smilies for this post.

CaptBrenden

 Actually alot of what your wrote helped flush out the characters somemore.  


Win2k... Humm my japanese, not so good.  What is Nisen-san? I got the other names right off the bat, but this one vexes me.  I think in the comic they will be called by their proper names at first, but they will get those more humane and normal names from the master since he keeps getting funny looks from people in public...


the way you describe 2k, she sounds like Chachamaru in Negima (one of my all time favorite characters) , or even closer... grrr.. I cant think of her name.. Shes one of the Leitenant death gods in Bleach.. She even looks just like 2k.. Calm, has that profesional secretary look, but the immature Captain she serves often gets a rise out of her that results in pain for him.  How ever In 2ks case it will be her sisters which will cause most of her fustration.  (95sans ignorence about technological stuff causing problems,  Mechan breaking things, XP getting drunk and eating all the food.. you know.. ) I think I mentioned it before.. but I see her being the type that would conceal her true emotions for the master, cus it would be improper to view the master in such a way.

Well I dont think XP will need to watch her weight.. shes a program... Abiet a very busty funloving one.  I think that would be perfect for her way of speaking.. although I cant imagin talking like that.. so I cirtanly cant write her parts...
She will definitly be the party type tho.  The drink, the music, the snacks.. She is going to live life to its fullest, even the hang over. (for her I imagine it would be like that slow period right after you exit doom 3 after running it for 4 hours on max settings..)

Emuii-chan i think fits better. (tho ill have to look up honorifics to make sure..) because its often used for the smaller more child like characters like her.  Her expressions are going to be extream no matter what shes doing. Like instead of a flat "im sorry" -_-  its more likely to be like a very teary biting her lower lip on the verg of breaking down into caterwalling as 2k threatens to slap her around with a giant fan.

I agree, 98 flushes her self out mostly. However i want her to seem more mature then shinobu, cus she is one of the older OSes even if she is meek and shy.  again, i think it would be cute if every one treats her like the kid she looks like dispiter her age, getting her to do that cute pouty "Im older then you dangit!"

You hit 95 on the head (oh god run for your life!!! ) XD er um ahem.  Anyhow.. like you said, she is going to be the traditional mature mother like figure, good at housework and the like.. looking after the OSes and such. However, she is going to also be that scary lady from time to time.. and who knows what will set her off as she has flashbacks to her days fighting the dreaded apple...

Anyhow.. Im going to work on getting this all compiled in the story writting thread so we can continue to discuss it there
"YOU IDIOT!!" -Kasen Ibara

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Pitkin

 I'll reply here once more, before you move it. ^_^

(Disclaimer: Don't take anything I write for granted, I'm not a native Japanese speaker and not a real specialist whatsoever either.)

First, this "Nisen-san" fixation of mine... ^^;

ni = two, sen = thousand; Nisen = 2k

I just had to think of something to get rid of the numbers in her name when I began collecting Win2k-tan pictures, so err... ^^;


Second, about the honourific suffixes...

-san is the basic one, Mr., Mrs., Miss, etc. very useful, and polite enough (I figured Win2k-tan and Win95-tan might prefer this in most cases)

-chan is basically a mispronunciation of -san, a mistake made typically by small children who cannot pronounce s correctly; informally, however, -chan can be used, like you said, when talking to _small_ children, or between teenage girls

-sama is used when talking to one's superiors
*perhaps in the beginning the OS Girls might refer to the "user" by "goshujinsama" (master), and later switch to different suffixes depending on the girl in question (Win2k-tan might keep calling the user -sama, while Win95-tan and Win98-tan would prefer -san, WinME-tan might have some kind of protocol disorder so that she'd refer to the "user" with -chan even though he's pretty far away from being a little girl, and WinXP-tan being the party girl could use the friendly -kun suffix)

*Win95-tan, being the warm-hearted "elder sister", could perhaps refer to her sisters using the childish -chan
*Win2k-tan, could have two ways of referring to her sisters; the one when talking around the "user" (everyone is called formally -san), and the one when the "user" is nowhere around (Win95-(o)neesan, others without any suffix maybe?)
*Win98-tan, perhaps no suffixes for the sisters at all, don't know how this will sound
*WinME-tan, everyone with -chan (added childishness?)
*WinXP-tan, Win98-tan and WinME-tan with -chan (annoying the guts out of Win98-tan ^^; ), rest without any suffix?

I'm not 100% sure how the characters would look like using the suffixes like I wrote above, so deciding that without experimenting might be hasty. ^^; One option would of course be to make it so that everyone called certain characters the certain way.

Last, and this is not to be taken seriously, the weight-watching must be one of the most important matters for any OS-tan; hogging too much memory will make the OS clumsy and possibly slow down the computer so much that the whole OS becomes unable to operate. :D :D

Things sound nice so far. ^__^ I don't know how much me butting in is welcomed, but as long as I'm not told to "stifle myself", eh heh... ^^;


Bonus
A few Engrish names (not real suggestions, just play of words):
-Emuii Ooesu (ME OS)
-Ekusupii Shisutemu (XP System)
-Nisen Entekko (2000 NT/ech)
-Kyuujuugo "Kujuko" Dosu (95 DOS)

Oh hoho, how much fun I had. ^o^

*cough* Pardon me.

Q4(V)

 Had to read all this to catch up, dam I think I got a virus or an eye problem … things are going to be all over the place … well I like the rival idea and got to add something, why can’t the rival have all the evil ostans then we can have some battles, the rival should seem to have some type of plan for why he battling (really need a name for the user and where are we basing it in the USA, Japan, UK or some were else so we can decide on a name, really what nationality he is). Why is the user the only one that has ostan, it would be hard trying to get other ostan, but it would just has hard or harder trying to explain why there are ostan all over the world, wait I got ostan are in ever computer in the worlds just the user can’t see them for some unknown reason A; they need some special tech B: the user some how unlock the ostan. C; insert idea here).
Can we have male os I think their called oskan not sure or are we just stick to ostan.
The idea for keeping them hided from the company/world sound good to me, there should be something unique about these ostan like that they can control computer or speak to them ( like in terminator 3) or some really good reason.
First chapter the user has to get ostan try to hide them, understand why they are here and get use to living with him… there are other idea but I can’t think of them right now. I think something about involving the internet some how, the rival not evil in the end but does actor evil till point of him feeling he needed to tell. There may be big holes so please tell me.
sorry if i didn't talk more abt it but there so many ideas