I think I know how to start an Os-tan related Visual Novel

Started by galiant609, April 06, 2009, 10:32:50 am

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MajesticS

QuoteWe have had one artist in particular who expressed interest in making art for a game... <...> There are other great artists here who could possibly contribute


That's great that there are someone who can draw well... As I said, I can provide black-and-white character sketches just to demonstrate their appearance. But graphics is not necessary right now; plot and text is more important.

And what's about text... I must humbly ask the community to wait until July, since that's where my free time begins and I'll be able to devote it to creative activities rather than education. I'll think I may come up with some materials then...

I would appreciate if nobody proceeds with this project without my presence, since I'm not only very interested in it, but also want to play major role in it as a writer... Yeah, that's why I would ask this community to suspend it a little. You would help a lot if you thought through the details I haven't mentioned in my plot overview, romantic storyline above all... You see, being a cyber-geek makes me very inexperienced in these things...

MajesticS

Okay, I'm here. My examinations are completed (there were victims all right), and I've finally entered my summer vacation time. I have now much free time I can spend to whatever I want, so I started working on this project. Since my holidays have just begun, I haven't got much to present you... However, I've done one character sketch. I drew it between exams and spent three days after it to color it. It's Linux-sama and her Master. I must warn you, however, that my pathetic drawing skill wasn't enough to imprint the idea I see behind those characters to the image; it's just done to show their anathomic features and coloring of their clothing, and to serve as a sample for those who'll proceed with drawing for the project. To give you a right image of their character, I'll describe them below. Now, the following are links to the same image (1000x751) in Maximum (414 Kbytes), Medium (146 Kbytes) and Low (39 Kbytes) quality - check one suitable for your bandwith.

Low - http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s101/Doctor-Sinc/Linux-JPEG-LowQuality-1.jpg
Medium - http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s101/Doctor-Sinc/Linux-JPEG-MediumQuality-1.jpg
Maximum - http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s101/Doctor-Sinc/Linux-JPEG-MaxQuality-1.jpg

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Now, character summary for Linux. Being an OpenSource, she feels openly towards Master, talking about anything and doing anything without embarassment or hesitation or need for privacy. When she talks, she often uses very informal, almost rude words, using weird and complicated word structures though (like Star Wars' Master Yoda, that is; well, Linux output *is* complicated, all right). However, since Linux systems are rather hard to deploy and calibrate, and even then it will provide root access to single priveleged user, she's emotionless to any other person than her Master. To strangers she's very secluded, always keeping straight expressionless face and grave silence.
She's very fast and slim (since Linux is as fast as your processor and needs few disk space), and employs wonderful martial arts skill, using her spear with astonishing deadliness. Being a system for tough programmers and admins, never forgiving mistakes from lamers, she's very agressive and unforgiving to anyone except her Master; her eyes are always blank to any human, and her spear hits quick and painfully. Being a Network OS, she can use limited variety of "cyber-magic", such as summoning Battle Penguins to her aid, blending with surroundings by switching desktop environment or boosting her power by linking to Parallel Computing Network with her Unix sisters over the Net; these rituals have shamanic nature.
She was never seen out of her warsuit; in public places where formal clothes are needed she prefers to stay in "ethereal state" (i.e. invisible), but always follows her Master very closely. As an GNU operating system, she despises proprietary OSs; she treats Windows with disguist, and MacOS with hostile neutrality (since MacOS X has Unix parents).

Character summary for Linux Master. A teen youth of same age as Protagonist, student in the same school as Protagonist. Has European origin; have came into the city of story with his parents who, being Linuxoids as well, have come here to work with their GNU Project colleagues.
Isolationist - rarely talks (just stares behind his hair with suspicion), rarely communicates with others (has no friends in his class). Though when he meets an enemy, he changes; he becomes mocking and violent, grinning and laughing madly with eyes flashing with his superiority.
Wears old clothes without care; never looks neatly and never cares about his appearance at all (look at his chaotic hairdress), employing philosophical ideology that mental freedom is more important than bodily appearance. (He's very embarassed with his pink slates though - one comment about its color is enough to enrage him - "What, you wear pink slates?" "I HAVE NO DARNED MONEY TO BUY BLACK!.. Linux. Kill him. Slowly."). He's materialistic and cynical as well.
He's not so healthy: he has a scoliosis and bad eyesight (wears glasses which are also his VR unit).
Leads a secluded way of life, most of his time spents in the Net or programming (that's why he's very pale - too low sunlight). At night he goes out with his OS and attacks proprietary OSs to damage them, leading his war against proprietary in this way. Sorry to the latter, he's good cyber-fighter; being a programmist, he's able to perform middle-level "cyber magic".
When he talks, his tone is always grim; when talking to enemies, it's sarcastic and mocking. Like his OS, he doesn't choose elegant words in his speech.
He may seem negative person, but to his OS he's very caring and gentle, cherishing her and always upgrading. He has no friends, but when he's forced to join forces with Protagonist to defeat city's cyber-mafia, he opens in a new way: as a good friend. but in a weird way - he thinks that "nobody except him has the right to hurt his allies".

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Now, criticism or suggestions are always welcome. For example, I need you to suggest from which country Linux User is and to suggest a name for him...
Currently I'm working with basic story flowchart. Any suggestions are welcome, especially on romance storyline (well, I'm really bad with these). When inspiration hits me, I'll try to draw some other character sketches, until all characters are developed.

Nuker

First: "Pathetic drawing skills?" WTF!? I wish I could draw that well. Also, you did an excellent job conveying the characters' personality: I could guess about half of their profile just by looking at the picture.

Now, about the profile itself: well thought out and "in character" (I'm not saying that all linux users are like that, obviously XD, but the profile fits the stereotype well.)

Country? Finland, oviously. :p

Can't wait to see the other profiles... by the way it'd be interesting to have Vistan in the story, if only to double the comic relief and have a "are you -really- sure you want to do that?" running gag. :D

MajesticS

QuoteCountry? Finland, oviously.

Damnit... I should have quessed ^_^ Well, I'm going for http://behindthename.com/ to choose a juicy-sounding and meaning-suitable Finnish name for him...

Quoteit'd be interesting to have Vistan in the story, if only to double the comic relief and have a "are you -really- sure you want to do that?" running gag

Well... I'm against using Vista; first of all, as I know, there is still no single image of it - there are various with different personality. And second, we've got enough characters: there are Me, XP Pro, 2k, 95, 98 & 98SE, Linux, MacOS 9 and MacOS X declared - pretty much already... For the genre we're working in it's not recommended to employ more than 8-12 characters. Well, they're quite enough to maintain a humorous effect.

QuoteWTF!? I wish I could draw that well.

As I said: pathetic drawing skills. I have troubles with anathomy, especially female, and my shading is horrible (I use Blur in Photoshop to create "gradient shading"; my cell shading is even more horrible). Anyway, my images lack small details, good color and shading job, an I can not create a normal backgroun at all, so I'm not suitable for drawing arts for games.

VonDaab


Aurora Borealis

That's a really nice drawing and I like that depiction of Linux-sama! I agree with the fact that she should be tough, stoic, fast and a great fighter who can also wield magic in battle but I think she should be a bit friendlier and more tolerant towards others (I understand why she'd dislike closed-sourceness but to hate some OS-tans just for being closed-source is harsh) since she's portrayed as a diplomat in the OS-tan world.

I see where she would be hostile towards the Windows-tans and be suspiscious of many Unix-based OS-tans because in the OS-tan backstories proposed at OSC, Linux-sama, Unix-sama and some of their descendants are part of a faction called the Linux/Unix Consortium which is politically unstable because of conflicts.

Linux-sama and Unix-sama are former enemies that are now friends but there are clashes between the other Linuces against the other Unices in the faction and even clashes among themselves since some are more liberal and others are more conservative. Also, the Unices in the LUC tend to be the strict, hostile ones (i.e: Solaris-tan, HP-UX-tan, UnixWare-tan, SCO Unix-tan) who refuse to trust the Linux-tans.


If you have the time and patience, I think you should read this OS-tan manga starring Linux-tan which depicts her early backstory.

Nuker

Quote
QuoteCountry? Finland, oviously.

Damnit... I should have quessed ^_^ Well, I'm going for http://behindthename.com/ to choose a juicy-sounding and meaning-suitable Finnish name for him...


Good Luck. Maybe Von Daab can suggest some names?

Quote
Quoteit'd be interesting to have Vistan in the story, if only to double the comic relief and have a "are you -really- sure you want to do that?" running gag

Well... I'm against using Vista; first of all, as I know, there is still no single image of it - there are various with different personality. And second, we've got enough characters: there are Me, XP Pro, 2k, 95, 98 & 98SE, Linux, MacOS 9 and MacOS X declared - pretty much already... For the genre we're working in it's not recommended to employ more than 8-12 characters. Well, they're quite enough to maintain a humorous effect.


Point taken. The "classic" OS-tan group is more recognisable and easier to work with, too. Also, 95-sama e XP-sama are already in, and that's more than enough to make me happy :D

By the way, a lot of people consider chivistan as the 'official' Vistan now. Kinda.

Quote
QuoteWTF!? I wish I could draw that well.

As I said: pathetic drawing skills. I have troubles with anathomy, especially female, and my shading is horrible (I use Blur in Photoshop to create "gradient shading"; my cell shading is even more horrible). Anyway, my images lack small details, good color and shading job, an I can not create a normal backgroun at all, so I'm not suitable for drawing arts for games.


That doesn't change the fact that a lot of people can only hope to reach your level of skill, as 'pathetic' as you think it is, so don't downplay your drawing skills too much, okay? ;P

MajesticS

QuoteCountry? Finland, oviously.

For the name of Linux Master... I've scanned through BehindTheName (this is my favorite database on national names and surnames and its meanings) and invented something. What if we call him Hesekiel Borg? In it, "Hesekiel" is a Finnish variant of "Ezekiel", which is a Christian prophet. Linux Master thinks of his war against proprietary as of holy crusade, and dreams of the world where all software would be Open Source, so he's like a prophet, yes? "Borg" is meaning "castle" in Swedish; being secluded and unbreakable like himself, Linux Master is resembling a fortified castle very much. If it's agreed, then so be it.
Quotebut I think she should be a bit friendlier and more tolerant towards others

2Aurora Borealis: I am truly sorry that I've depicted Linux-sama so harsh; I'm really not very familiar with OS-tan background, so thank you for the note.

I must note, however, that the personality and background of OSs should be changed since we introduced Masters into the story. In classic OS-tan world, OSs are portraited like humans. Now we think of them as of servant programs who must obey the Master who's not supposed to be somewhere out of the picture, but is here, in the same space as OS-tans. Even more, in classic OS-tan world OSs are unique characters; here we think of them as of software packages, so there are many Linuxes walking the streets with their masters, and their personality could be altered (see my first post here). It's just our main characters decided to keep their original personalities. Also there must be not OS political groups; they're personalities, but their AI is not "omni-strong" so they could act just like humans. Their AI is just "strong" with restrictors set on them, or they'll rebel against their users (that's, er, AI futurology suggestion); so they just serve their Masters, and communicate like humans when they meet, but that's all to it. (It is part of our story's goals, however, - to show how they evolve from programs to individuals, growing with their Masters.) We may suggest, though, that their "humanlike" memory was designed and programmed, but no designer would create memory that would make his creation remember the war between OSs, right?

So background we must alter; it wouldn't seem right if we pretended that OS-tans were born and raised like humans. They would feel kinship towards their parent OSs, and would feel good or bad towards their OS class comrades. But it would be more of a genetic memory, than of their relations in their past.

But anyway, I agree that I should change character background for Linux to make her more tolerant. Well, let us change the character description on Linux to the following:

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Personality: being an OpenSource, Linux feels openly towards Master, talking about anything and doing anything without embarassment or hesitation. When she talks, she uses polite, but strong words, as well as weird and complicated word structures though (like Star Wars' Master Yoda, since Linux output *is* complicated). Since Linux systems are rather hard to deploy and calibrate, and even then it will provide root access to single priveleged user, she's emotionless to any other person than her Master. To a Master she adresses with soft tone, but to strangers she talks with polite, but harsh formal tone. To strangers she's very secluded, always keeping straight expressionless face and grave silence. Being a system for tough programmers and admins, never forgiving mistakes from lamers, she ignores lame users like if they aren't here.

Powers and abilities: Linux is very fast and slim (since Linux is as fast as your processor and needs few disk space), and employs wonderful martial arts skill, using her spear with astonishing deadliness.  Being a Network OS, she can use limited variety of "cyber-magic", such as summoning Battle Penguins to her aid, blending with surroundings by switching desktop environment or boosting her power by linking to Parallel Computing Network with her Unix sisters over the Net; these rituals have shamanic nature.

Attitude towards public and other OSs: she was never seen out of her warsuit; in public places where formal clothes are needed she prefers to stay in "ethereal state" (i.e. invisible), but always follows her Master very closely. As an GNU operating system, she despises proprietary OSs; she ignores Windows family as much as she can. She feels akin of Unix, since she was derived from them, but she thinks they're too old, conservative and rational. As for MacOS, she recognizes them as descendants of Unix family, but thinks they're too flashy and glamour, and their proprietary origin makes them look down in Linux's eyes.

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How's this?

VonDaab

Quote from: "Nuker"Maybe Von Daab can suggest some names?

Well, I cant go suggesting anything, but I can say my opinion of your name suggestions. I mean, what's better than asking an actual finnish person?

Quotewhat majestics said

Ehh... why do I even bother...

MajesticS

QuoteI mean, what's better than asking an actual finnish person?


Well, you're Finnish, so you're welcome to comment on my name suggestions... Or even to suggest your own... It's rather hard for me who's not into Finland's culture to pick a name with database only, so, if you wish to help, then please comment and suggest as much as you think is needed.

VonDaab

Well, yeah, Hesekiel is a rather strange name and very non-finnish.
Actually, I did a quick check in the finnish name registry and it gave me a result of 140 Hesekiels registered in the last 120 years.
Also, christianity isnt that strong here, so sort of prophet type names are usually bit embarassing.
I dont know why it has to be a finnish name, I mean, Linus Torvalds are both swedish/germanic originated names...

MajesticS

QuoteWell, yeah, Hesekiel is a rather strange name and very non-finnish.


Well, I just felt like it... It sounded impressive (an impressive name, even ruthless-sounding one is needed for such a character as Linux Master). Would you make another suggestion? And for the surname ("Borg") - is it allright?

Update: German name "Gerhard" - form of "Gerard" which means "spear" ("ger") + "brave" ("hard")... He's brave and tough, and his OS wields a spear... How about this? "Gerhard Borg"...

Aurora Borealis

The updated bio for Linux-sama sounds better but keep in mind that only Mac OSX is based off of Unix. The Classic Mac OS (Mac System 1 - Mac OS 9) isn't- it's based off of something else entirely (partly built from scratch with elements of Apple's Lisa OS and SOS that came before it).

Also, Linux is not code-derived from Unix for legal reasons. Linux only OPERATES just like Unix. This is why she used to be hated by Unix-sama who saw her as a cheap copycat to be destroyed. They did reconcile and become friends but Unix-sama's more hostile and elite daughters still see Linux-sama as a cheap copycat. That is, in the OS-tan faction backstories.

You can read more about these OS-tan backstories if you're curious here:

Your take on the OS-tans is interesting but not what I'm used to so I misunderstood. Are the OS-tans in your story idea akin to the Persecoms from "Chobits"?

MajesticS

QuoteYour take on the OS-tans is interesting but not what I'm used to so I misunderstood. Are the OS-tans in your story idea akin to the Persecoms from "Chobits"?


Erm... You read my mind, actually... This anime, and plus "Dennou Coil" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dennou_Coil) were what was on my mind... So, eh, they are. They act like it, though they express more personality than Persocons. And they aren't solid but made of digital matter (like cyber-beings in Dennou Coil). Check my first post there, where I described basic plot; they're programs, actually.

Quotebut keep in mind that only Mac OSX is based off of Unix

Then Linux will ignore MacOS 9 at all, just like she does to Windows, and will feel certain respect to MacOS X. Is it right?

QuoteLinux is not code-derived from Unix for legal reasons. Linux only OPERATES just like Unix.

Still, they've got same file system idea, and structure; I've read an ancient translated book on classic UNIX by Bell Labs, and there were familiar folders on FS (/etc/, /bin/, /usr/ and so on)... So Linux will feel kinship to them, since she was created later than Unix and Torvalds was inspired with Unix when he did his system...

VonDaab

Gerhard sounds like another archaic name, but really, its not like it really matters.
What I'd like to point out that the surname "Borg" could aswell be the finnish equivalent "Linna" which means a castle too and we'd get the finnish association with that.