Intro:
This thread is for the disscusion and development of the OS Tan Collections in house comic. In this thread is the place to discuss storyline ideas, plots, character profiles, and anything else writing related.
We currently dont have a Writing Department Head or any official writers, just conceptual writers and creative input. If your interested in becoming an official writer or the writing departments head, please apply in the OS Tan Comic Admin thread, or PM me, CaptBrenden, the project chairman.
Main Characters
These will be the main characters of the story. the first list is the "good" characters, as they are the ones that live with the user and will be seen the most often. The second list is the "evil" or "opposing" character as they wont nessicerily be bad, but they will conflict with the good characters. (i think darklord would throw me off the site if I mad Linux a villan...)
The User/Master- Protagonist
3.1-tan
Dos, the cat
95tan
98-tan
Me-tan or Emuii-chan
2k-tan or Nisen-san
XP-tan or Ekusupii-san
Hacker (working name) - Antagonist
Mac (i dont know the versions..)
Linux
other possible "opposing" oses
Norton
Supporting Characters
These characters most likely will show up later in the story and get less "air time"
98se
MSN Messanger
Mcafee
NT
CE
XP home
Sever 2003, or Saba
Vista
Fire Fox
Genera/Type
Exotic girlfriend/harem/comedy/mild ecchi
We are aiming at a negima/love hina type of story. Something funny with loveable character, centered around a bunch of girls that all like (in their own way) the user/master. To stay true to most of the material currently on the web for the OS tans, a slight ecchi tint will be added. Fan service! I can only hope that we can master the mass gratuidus pantie shot as well as Mr Akamatsu
Setting
Still up in the air, but it will take place in either modern day Japan, or modern day USA (mostlikely washington state, as I have lived there for 6 years, and its the home of Microsoft) If we pick Japan, a lot of research will have to be done to be accurate as we have no true japanese team members (yet, Id like to find at least a translator.. the brought the OS tans to life, im sure they would appriciate being able to read our humble comic)
In either case, the master lives (untill the girls arrive) alone. This location will have to be something big as it will have to fit all the girls eventually. Say... he lives in a large house that was owned by his parents or something. OR maybe a studio in a cheaper part of town. Either way it has to be remote to keep public knowlage of such extrodinary girls on the down low. Last thing we need is 98 running around in her box on the evening news.
Another possibility, most likely as a later location, cyber space. The girls will start in reality, but the story will end up taking the user to cyber space at which point we can start including all the supporting chracters.
General Plot
This is all still up in the air, but this is what we are working with so far. The user is a programer, working most likely for Microsoft spicificly on the operating systems. As a pet project he creates Visual Interactive Personalitys for each OS, calling them the OS Tans (he is quite the otaku).
He has a rival at work, that works in another department with hardware. Experimental stuff, high speed low drag. The two dont get along and but heads when ever possible. The users current assigned project is to create an operating system for the rivals "experimental" device. Kinda like the manhatten project, the differnt departments dont even know what their components are for.
However, the pet pjoject discs and the actuall operating systems discs get mixed up, and the OS tans get installed into the solid holigram devices the experimental department is working on.
The user then returns home, and awakes to the clamor of some strange girls that have shown up at his house... Meanwhile the experimental department is in an uproar looking for their stolen solid holigram projectors....
From here, the user learns to live with his roommates as the compeat for his attention, discover the real world, and cause mischif and mayhem while theyre at it. On top of that, after finding out what brought them to life, he has to decider what to do.. return the devices and never see the girls hes come to care for again, or try to keep them hidden from the coperation, his rival, and the world (which is no easy task given the girls hes trying to hide..)
:ph34r: Im in. Yup, really interested on it. As one of the Main writers... :thumbup:
Allright Ive been idly thinking about doing a short tester comic just for practice. Here it goes:
Digital Complex: A Day Without Dos
Length: 8-16 pages (standard comics co by 8 page increments)
Medium: Computer inked and colored using Photoshop 7.0. Cell shaded.
Style: full comic/manga page rather then strip from.
Purpose: to hash out to process for producing an issue of DigiCon
Basic Story:
It will start with an establishing shot of the sun comming up over the city buildings, or the trees/mountains of the country side. A further establishing shot will introduce out main character for this one.. 3.1 tan, asleep in her bed, dos curled up next to her. From here, we can show the alarm clock next to the bed.. probobly an old style one (since it belongs to 3.1) showing that its already late in the morning. Either the alarm can go off, or I may have 95 show up to wake her from her sleep. I hear that wake up sceans are common in manga.
Then there will be a series of shots of her mornin routine... I want to show some of the things she does in her daily life.. every time with dos. Helping 2k file folders, going to the store for 95, etc.. Mostly to stress that the two are inseperable, and I want to give the reader a feel for whoe 3.1 is, quiet and emotionless almost.. with a soft side that only dos seems to bring out. (writing dialog for her will be a blast! 3.1: "...." Dos: "meow.")
Conflict to the story comes when somehow on the way back from the store, dos gets lost and a dirty crying ( i think if done right this could be one powerfull shot.. the normaly expressionless 3.1 tears streaming down her face holding out a distictive collar..) having searched for Dos for hours. Imagin her crying into 95's arms (establishing her as the mother even more from the morning wake up and laundry parts) The girls then all head out and search (cammios for everyone!) and then dos is found un harmed but thoughouly miserable crying out for 3.1 (he is as dependant on her as she is on him) Start tearfull reunion, acouple of good shots the others girls onlooking teary smiles at the scean.
and finaly the final part will be 95 closing the door to 3.1s bedroom wishing her goodnight. After the door closes, in the bluish tint of moonlight she snugs her beloved companion, and maybe, just maybe her only line in whole comic will come at this point, something along the lines of "I love you dos, never leave me alone again" or something else. I shall endevor to make it less wordy for the normaly silent maiden but you get the point.
Still needs so work, but story writers feel free to tear it to peices, and put it back togeather better. remember to keep it simple, but it should still be long enough to fill the 8-16 pages.
I figuer, since we havent hashed him out yet, we should leave the Master out of it. Maybe when 3.1 shows up without dos, someone could comment (2k comes to mind since its kinda a mature note "this couldnt have happened at a worse time.. with the master out on a buisness trip.." or something along that line. Or also, a comment in the begining when 3.1 is helping with varios chores about "we have to work hard while master is away... "
Let me know what you think, and if the story writters are on the ball, Ill shoot for the middle of next week to have a sketched version for editing.
Awe...so cute.
I had a sort of diferent idea for Neko DOS though. Sort of imagined her as a crone of sorts. Kindly grandmother personality but with feline trates as well. I know this is wierd as hell, but it seems like a manga kind of thing to me. I think that is a good mirror for the real world relationship between 3.1 (and even through to XP) and DOS.
Its not even totaly incompatable with your outline...
Let me know yhat you think.
I am thinking over the general concept too. I like WA for the setting, but I don't think the girls have to be isolated. You get even more odd ball situations if they get to mix it up with normal people. I was even thinking about enrolling the tans is school. Have to think on that a bit.
About how any frames will the teaser have?
Also, can't leave out Firefox Tan, the ears are so cute!
hullo minna
ore wa rew desu "YOROSHIKU!!"
currently i and my friend are making a short flash movie with our theme the OS Tans.
but our problem is we dont know and dont have a suitable music for the bgm.
so, i'm thinking if anybody here got a song that they would like to share (only cute songs,the one like in OSpittan .swf movie or the troubled windows one)
the songs that we have in store is just:
ayumi Hamasaki
nami tamaki
L'Arc~En~Ciel- Awake, Heart,True,Ray,ark,heavenly,and some anime ost's.
Tanoze MINNA!!!!! ;hi http://ostan-forums.blackdiam.net/images/smiles/1/sm9.gif
humm well I idly thought about dos having 2 forms somehow.. like being able to shift between the cat, and the girl form (the one thats always hiding in the background with the keyboard)
95 has most often been potrayed as the motherly sort, so thats why Ive gone the way that I have so far. Dos is normaly shown as a shy girl in the back ground (cus dos usualy runs back there) with a keyboard (cus you can only use dos with a keyboard) or the cat that is always with 3.1tan. I relize that dos is technicly the oldest, how ever if you look at the girls, age of the OS dosent nessicarily show through the character. take the 98 twins for example, or 3.1. Both are fairly old but potrayed as young girls (maybe because the the oses are less "mature" then say 2k or Xp.
The way i see it, dos is a perfect choice for our "sidekick" character, which in most mangas is a small cute animal, tho they can sometimes speak, change shape or the like. Imagine it.. 3.1 is the only one that can seem to understand dos perfectly, cus she works directly with dos. The other systems can use dos but its not a main stay of it so they get a shaky understanding at best Dos:"meow meow!" XP:"what timmys fallen down the well??" 3.1: ".......no.... she said you ate her fish......"
The boxes (reminds me.. i have to look up thier actuall name..) are another possibility, but they have less personality potential then dos. I see them as being more like... say the two knights that look like logs in Tenchi, vs dos being riaoki. Interesting supporting characters, protectors of 98 and se, but not the main mascot.
Number of frames really depends on how much material is given to me for comic. the more indepth the more i can include, or the more i have to streach it out to fit the page length. Just keep in mind that we are doing full pages rather then just the normal online comic strip (so much more you can do with them.) However 6-8 frames is a good estimate. If you really want to go indepth in the writting, you can discribe the individual frames rather then just writting a story and having me adaptit to frames.
This gives you the writter more of a hand in the final product. think of it as like.. a screen play writer. Format would look something like this:
Digital Complex: A day Without Dos
Writer: Mechazawa
Artist: CaptBrenden
page 1 of 8frame 13.1 sits up in bed streaching, dos streaching besider her, window in background, sun rising above the trees.
Dialoge: None
Sound Effects: Chirping of birds, yawning, streaching
frame 2ground level shot of 3.1s foot lowering into a old looking lacy pair of slippers.
Dialoge: None
SFX: none
You get the Idea. This like I said gives you more of a direct hand in things, gives us a better idea how much material is on how many pages so we can work on pacing better, saves time on the artists end (even more the more discriptive each frame is) If your like me and
see what you write in your head its almost like planing out a movie or animation... thinking abotu where to place the camera, and what you want in the shot and how your going to convey the feeling you want to invoke.
Well Im gonna go work on some more model sheets.. tell me what you think and what you want to do. This will be a good test to see how much work it is for you and will let us plan for how long each issue should take us to produce. We may also have to discuss if we are going to release a page at a time.. or wait for all 8 pages of an issue to be compleated before release.
Signing off...
Edit:
egads I did forget firefox! Yes ears are cute, and I do like her alot, but for the main characters we at the moment plan on sticking to the more standard characters untill later on in the story, thus I have now dropped her in the supporting character section.
humm that brings to mind tho.. is there a google tan? cus it would be interesting to throw her in there to help "search" for dos XD
CaptBrenden added the following 6 minutes after last message : Quote from: "rew"hullo minna
ore wa rew desu "YOROSHIKU!!"
currently i and my friend are making a short flash movie with our theme the OS Tans.
but our problem is we dont know and dont have a suitable music for the bgm.
so, i'm thinking if anybody here got a song that they would like to share (only cute songs,the one like in OSpittan .swf movie or the troubled windows one)
A noble endevor to be sure, cus there is always a need for new flashes of the tans.. however this isnt the right thread to ask for help on it. maybe you should start a new thread in the os tan discussions/os tan fanfics, comics, and fan stuff?
Hehe Google Tan, good one to design yourself!
I am still bummbling about thinking about story and character.
Since we are writing this it may as well be an american setting and character.
"Gort Turing" might be a good name for the "master" Alan Turing was a digital computing pioner and famous for the "Turing Test," which seems relavant to what we are doing. Gort is the robot from "The Day The Earth Stood Still", maybe make his name Gordon, but Gort for short?
humm possible second contest XD Picking a name is always hard. I like the last name.. but gort.. i donno.. *ponders* we will have to see what we come up with. What about Matt Turning? Sounts a little more american or normal and rolls of the toung a bit better. No real meaning to it tho.. or maybe William turning. Kinda a normal name, but its the full version of microsofts head honcho Billy G. Deeply rooted to the girls and sounds a bit more normal. Any other saggestions anyone?
Im not so worried about the user/master at the moment.. we still got alot of characters to work out before we get to him. The proposed short teaser comic also dosnt require him in it, which gives us pleanty of time to figure out what it is we want to do with him.
If your interested in working with the test/teaser comic let me know and we will get cracking on it.. if not, Ill see what I can do in my free time, but I got 3 weeks or so off comming up here and I want to try and get it done in that time.
When I was thinking about what to do with dos, I got this idea that it is the most complete OS MS has produced so far, since windows is still developing, but dos is complete and perfect for its intended purpose. That would make it the most mature...
DOS is perfectly fine on its own while 3.1 is useless without DOS.
You have a point about the standard cute animal personality though. I don't know what to do about the little girl/box form. I don't like any of the designs of the little girl I have seen so far.
Quick Ideas.
ME Buys a tuna sandwitch to try and draw out DOS with the smell. XP
eats it.
Imagine a typical urban street. vehicles zip by in the center, sidewalks are crowded with pedestrians shopping at food stores whose wares spill out onto the wide sidewalks. XP weaves through trafic on her scooter trying to look every place, "DOS DOS here kitty kitty". ME riding "bitch" is hanging on for dear life, eyes spinning, face green.
95 Tan steps into a seedy bar walks sraight up to the bar tender and askes for Sake. Gruf looking barkeep laughs "we have whiskey and whiskey."
95 "I am looking for a small black cat, name of DOS."
three ugly patrons with lustful eyes aproach.
Patron 1 "well now little lady we might be able to find that pussy for you..."
patron 2 reaches for obi. 95 draws kaitana, flash of light, 3 patrons stand in just shoes and underpaints.
95 "now about my cat..."
DOS is found playing an RPG in wallmart.
More first names from my list. Winston (contains Win), Frank, Barney, Alphonse (patlabor), Sam, Robby (robot in forbidden planet).
Humm interesting thought there. Brings a question to mind.. can or will dos talk? that is a question worth thinking about. In many mangas and animes the cute animal sidekick can still speak, and as you said, may be fairly refined or intellegent. example: sailor moon, and or Bleach (technicly the cat in that one turned out to be an extreamly old death god, but for a long time it just seemed like a smart old black cat that talked gruffly) or Kuro, konakos cat from Love Hina, was smart and insitefull, often pointing out the characters feelings before even they are aware
on the other hand, dos could be like tama chan in love hina, smart but makes simple sounds. As i said before, that could be cool, especialy if only 3.1 can really talk to her (or understand) her best.
Its a cool concept tho, that dos will be wise beyond her years, and not dependant on 3.1 but 3.1 is dependant on her.
i like the tuna thing, thats funny XD we will have to use that. However.. if there were food stalls there.. Im sure XP would be checking each one throughly for dos...
Ive been reading some of the fan sub comics and the male oses arnt so bad. Well cept xp.. *shutter* But what brought that to mind is that scean with 95. Somehow I could just see the gruff samurai looking 95kun in the background sipping sake watching in amusement
CaptBrenden added the following 10 hours 28 minutes after last message :
how odd.. my post somehow got deleated... in two differnt threads...
and then it re appears after i attempt a repost
and then it dissapeared again! the forum is freaking out!!
CaptBrenden added the following 11 hours 39 minutes after last message :
Is anyone else having problems with the forum? its twigin the freak out on me...
no its all in ur head .... wait how come it show when u have edit ur post it doesn't no mine ....
Forum has been OK for me.
I was thinking about having 2K take 3.1 around while the others have separate little adventures.
We realy have to decide who will be the primary leading lady in this, but I am leaning towards 2K.
Going to do some more serious writing ths weekend.
Yeah, its is me i think.. i dont know how, I dont know why, but my computer is loading old data for sites.. stuff that it loaded days ago.. so it wasnt showing any new posts, and anything I posted didnt show up. it was rather odd.. tho I think my flushing the temporary files cleared up the problem.
anyhow.. humm lead lady, that is hard one. I wonder if it would be possible to share the role equaly? <.< >.>
I look forwart to seeing what you have written up, Im going to work pretty hard on drawing this weekend as well,
Here is a start for the teaser.
Setting, inside a neat, well furnished three story town house.
NOTE: might want to start with a picture of the house.
View from outside a top story window.
3.1 lies asleep in bed, her head visible from under the covers. DOS is curled up next to her on top of the covers.
DOSââ,¬â,,¢s nose twitches. She rises slowly to her paws. Thought: ââ,¬Å"I smell something tastyââ,¬Â.
DOS noses through the door which is ajar, then pads downstairs.
Kitchen: 95 (kimono tied back) is cooking fish for breakfast. 98 (sans box) is helping.
DOS jumps up on counter, audible ââ,¬Å"Beepââ,¬Â
95 ââ,¬Å"their not quite ready yet.ââ,¬Â
DOS looks disappointed ââ,¬Å"beepââ,¬Â¦beepââ,¬Â jumps to floor.
Sound of doorbell
Staircase: ME in comfortable looking PJs hurries. ââ,¬Å"Iââ,¬â,,¢ll get it.ââ,¬Â Falls down stairs, lands in funny looking position ââ,¬Å"ouch.ââ,¬Â
Hallway: XP (slightly sexy PJs) rushing towards ME. ââ,¬Å"Not again ME Tanââ,¬â€you have to be more careful with the stairs.
Doorway: 2K (fully attired) opens door for postman, DOS pads out the door.
2K ââ,¬Å"good morning Cliffââ,¬Â
Postman ââ,¬Å"and a fine morning to you Nisen san, did you know that today is the anniversary of the completion of the worlds first digital computer in Alexandria in 1500 B.C.ââ,¬Â
2K now holding mail ââ,¬Å"thatââ,¬â,,¢s good to know...ââ,¬Â
DOS rubbing head on postmanââ,¬â,,¢s leg, ââ,¬Å"beep.ââ,¬Â
Postman ââ,¬Å"ahââ,¬Â¦whatââ,¬â,,¢s wrong with your cat.ââ,¬Â
2K ââ,¬Å"sheââ,¬Â¦has a cold.ââ,¬Â
Postman (sweatdrops) ââ,¬Å"later then.ââ,¬Â
2K and DOS back inside.
2K wipes brow ââ,¬Å"phewââ,¬Â sets mail down on side table.
DOS paws through mail grabs a flyer in her mouth, and goes upstairs.
3.1ââ,¬â,,¢s room:
3.1 Sitting up in bed holding flyer ââ,¬Å"wow 5.25ââ,¬Â Floppies lets go get some right away.ââ,¬Â
DOS ââ,¬Å"beep beep beepââ,¬Â
3.1 ââ,¬Å"tummy grumble noiseââ,¬Â¦OK, after breakfast.ââ,¬Â
Brenden: I don't know what you will think of having DOS beep instead of speeking or making cat sounds. Its just something I thought would be funny, with my old DOS system that was about the only sound it could make.
Does this basicaly jibe with what you had been thinking so far?
humm i tried looking up sone photos for houses in washington for reference and its alot harder then i would have thought -.- Ill keep looking.
Humm dos beeping. That could be kinda funny/cute XD and 3.1 (since she was the "user friendly" operating system it would explain why she would need to speak/translate for dos. However i think we could alow a few mews in there, just exnay on the speach since you had a point.. dos doesnt make much in the way of sound and is kinda hard to communicate with. But i definitly think she will bleep when she doesnt like something (like you press a wroung key in dos..-.-)
sounds pretty good so far. i shall have to research the house and come up with some costuming for the non standar costumes (ae pjs)
they way you have it right now you pretty much leave all frame layout and such to me, i donno if thats how you panned it or what.
back to sketching i go for a bit... maybe ill sketch up some comics
Im glad that things are working and progressing quite well... Im anxious to see your sketches...
EDIT: Oh, another thing! Master must have a name and a nick (was that said already) for the Internet of course. I'll think of it right away. Mmmm... Master should perhaps a few... "geek" friends, or something like that...
Yes, B & C or something, I kind of want him to be a 16yo kid whose father created the tans in a failed attempt to bring back master's dead mother, but passed away leaving only a few keystrokes remaining to bring the tans to life, something like that..
anyway, some discussion on masters name is in this thread already.
I thought I would write more during the week, but things are getting hectic at work now.
I just started a 20 day vacation. SOmetime tonight im gonna start driving for washington state, but once i get there i will be free to draw as much as I want, woo!
Humm, I mentioned before doing something where he is all by himself in a large place left to him by his parents, so thats not entierly out of the ball park. However.. I think perhaps it should be HIM that created the tans, not the father tho, IMHO. Its still up for discussion as there is alot of visual concept work to do before anything starts getting produced exept for stand alone backgroundless comics like the teaser. Im still kinda partial to the work mix up -.- either way Ill have to either research office buildings or schools for layouts and such. Perhaps a collage student dabbling in programing with the experimental computer technology his exentric dad left behind?
Humm the Ideas are on a roll.... His dad like you said was trying to recreate his dead wife using technology. Perhaps he created the device that makes the girls manifest, however its the son who as a computer project for collage creates the visual user interface programs code named OS tans.
If this is the case, then the following are probobly true: A) the masters father was a mad scientist (not world domination, but exentric seluded and driven to do strange things buy some passion or dream. say... Cmdr Ikari enginering the third impact to see his wife again)
This being so, then he was probobly very rich and had a large place with many advnaced computers. Imagin a large almost mansion like house (im thinking like one of those old centenial hoses that are all over washington) with a hidden basement filled with goodies.
Lets say then, he was very busy with work and had no time to take care of the kid after his wife was lost so he sent him off to live with relitives at a very young age. Thus the son has no idea what kind of stuff his father did, and only came to find out after working on his class project on the super computer downstairs and wakes up to find all these strange girls in his house..
Now like a true mad scientist he probobly had a rival of sorts. Either that person could turn to the son as the new rival trying to steal away that preciose technology, or maybe a story along the same lines leave the rivals son in the same situation, and thus the new generation of rivalry.
Now the master, I see as being a reclusive socialy inept person, after all he grew up without a father and mother essentialy. But maybe intellegence runs in the family and he too is extreamly talented with computers. This would effectivly make him a geek. An otaku that dosnt get along with most people and loves computers. yep thats a geek. (I am one, i know XD)
Now, this is how that character can grow and develop as now he has half a dozen girls in his home, all that are in at least some way interested in him but with extreamly diffent personalities which will give him more then enough experience by the end to handle any Normal girl.
Another thought.. as we brought up the main female character of the story. It would be difficult to pick one of the tans to end up with him dispite their feelings, as they are in fact programs/machines. Maybe there is a girl he likes but cant seem to talk to or communicate with at school/work and as he learns to live with the tans he develops the courage and confidence he needs to get the girl, but the jealose os tans wont have it! Maybe she likes him too, and there are many funny mis understandings as she sees all these girls with him (like poor little 98 running around head over heals for him.. making him look like quite the pedophile to her o.O)
the mansion type idea works to both of our intentions. A large yard and walled fence with plenty of trees would keep the OS tans concealed so that they arnt overly noticed even in the middle of the city, but it would still be very easy for their antics to spill out into the real world :P
anyhow... that was quite the impromptu brain storm session. hopefully we get something out of it, but now i must pack to drive home!
Capt. plz make a txt with all the accepted ideas, its better than finding the accepted pieces of it throught the topic. Perhaps Mr. Linux-master (AKA Admin) should consider to make a "Storage" folder, or something, that would be a great place to store ideas on txt.
possibly, I plan on compiling most of the major Ideas in the opening post, such as overall plot and such
Wowsers, I havent touched this thread in a long time. Honestly I thought deployment would see alot more progress. But again.. just like the last two.. seeing either endless ocean or dirt everyday untill time has no meaning and the 130 degree weather stops your brain from functioning right let alone creativly has a way of derailing progress. Now I have less then a month before I bounce to kuwait and then back to the states and Ive finaly come back to the project just as determined as ever. I hope no one thought I forgot about it or gave up!
First order of buisness... Who is still around thats interested in working on it? I hope mechazawa is still around but I doubt it... I will send Him a PM after this (especialy since ive just about finished his request/prize drawing of XP on a vespa). I have a new member of the team. Currently not even a board member, but rather my best bud out here in no mans land. Ive been good friends with him for 4 years almost now and he is quite the ambitios writer. Hes submitted several short stories to publishing companys tho none have been published so far (tho he is quite proud of the fact they were at least good enough to get a costimized rejection letter which means they thought he had merit but needed more work). Ive talked to him about working jointly on a comic project for some time now, and we have experemented on several storylines but so far to no avail. However! Since I was working (not as fast as I had hoped) out here, I was constantly bouncing Ideas off of him and I seem to have gotten him exited about it! He and I are both currently working on writting plot for DIGI COM and we seem to have taken it in a slightly differnt direction.
First off, the change in direction comes form a thought of mine... Originaly we assumed that the Master would be just that, a master of computer stuff. It seemed natural and we didnt think to much about this... but concider... what if the master was actually compleatly computer illiterate?? Chaos! Maehem! Comedy! In his day to day life not only must he learn to live with the girls, but he must learn the very basics of computers as well! Me tan gets sick and he cant figure out why untill 2k asks if he installed anti virus software! What?!? I didnt know that he says! A simple one issue plot arc!
This has several advantages.. the biggest being the fact that I am fairly computer illiterate and it would have been very hard to make a convincing computer genius on paper not knowing that much myself. What ever the user is learning about that issue is all Ill have to research to sound knowlageable.
Second, it also teaches the readers something! Not all OS tan fans are computer geeks as well so learing the ins and outs of the system could be interesting as well.
Anyhow... Him being iliterate also establishes something else.. someone else has to create the tans (for the most part at least) Enter the friend!
I imagin a second "user" more as a secondary/supporting character. I imagin him being a cross between major hughes FMA, the friend in Chobits, and kajhi iin EVA. Im thinking a scruffy, DOMIT (dirty old man in training) Otaku computer hacker/genius extrodinair and cool guy in one.
Imagin: This firend is a computer programer there in washington for Microsoft. He works on all manner of extramly high tech and experimental stuff, as well as his own little side projects. He is working on a solid hologram, digital matter producter etc... as his job project but cant seem to get it to work. In his spare time being the geek and otaku he is, he creates little AI OS apps like desktop mascots based on the orginal designs on the japanese image boards. (a little homage to the original creators giving them the credit the deserve) so he didnt design them, he just made the programes that brign them to life. The user himself will be the one that accidently combineds the two projects and brings them into reality....
Issue one, will go something like this: Start with the user, posibly walking down the street carrying a book bag, or riding the bus. I imagin him doing sort of a intoduction of him self while he is traveling.. a sort of "my name is _____ ___, a 21 year old collage student in everett washington. Im your normal boring guy, exept one thing... I really hate computers, and computers hate me..." He meets up with the friends, after a brief exchange the friend tells the main character he is headed out of town and asks the user to feed his fish or some other house sitting task. The user agrees and asks if he can check his email on his friends comp when ever he does. The friend will be aprehensive knowing how bad the user is and being protective of his gear as any super geek is but agrees cus he needs the help and hes shown him 20 gazillion times how to do it, hes got to be able to get it right this time!
While checking his email, the user looks for a disk to save something.. a message, homework assignement or a funny picture he was sent and pops the disc with the OS AI's on into the machine (into the wroung drive as there are probobly about thrity on the geek friends computer) a coffee spill/pet accident/tripped on cord/or other catastrophic user error the computer sparks flashes impressivly.. then dies. THe user franticly replugs it in, presses power, and breaths a deep sigh of relife when it starts to boot up.. but decides its best not to try again without his friend present and locks up and leaves...
He goes home, falls asleep and the next morning a female voice gently calls to him while shaking his shoulder... he awakes to find himself surrounded on all sides by very strange but beautiful girls that want to wait on him hand and foot. and so it begins..
at this point it will be only 2k, xp, 95, ME, and 98. EGADS you say! the captain didnt mention 3.1!! could he have forgotten his favorite of the OSes?!?! NEVAR I SAY! Let me continue... THe first couple issues will be him figuring out who they are, what they can do and generaly stuff like that... Living with OSes 101. Just getting to know them could be quite disasterus in itself. We establish the rules of the story (by rules, I mean the basic rules of the fictisios world we are creating. What can and cant be done.
They establish such rules early on in many such mangas/animes at the very start so that if those rules are broken at the climax it seems so much more momentus! Its seen alot in shows like.. bleach. they lay down the rules for the spirit world, what powers the average Deathgod cant have, and then when the main character shatters those established rules is seems so much more important.
Once the rules have been established we can the begin the rising action and conflict, starting with... dun dun dunh!!!! 3.1! HOLY TOLITO! 3.1 and dos are going to be the first villans? what madness is this?!?! Listen dear friends and I will explain...
The friend comes back from his trip about this point and returns to his apartment to find it smelling like burnt plugs and coffee, the door broke and off its hindges and the computers systems he had in there in compleat dissaray (readers of the comic will note it didnt look like that when the user left the room...Leading them to belive that it was the oses breaking out that smashed up his stuff)
Being the crazy mad scientist type he is, i can see him sitting around, and actually putting the events togeather in his head.. In a train of logic that would seem absolutly insane to anyone else but he (having watched entirely too much anime) tries to do it again now that he has figured it out! But... His AI programs are gone.. exept.. one. He remembers that he still has a disc of 3.1 laying around in a shoe box in his closet. He being the tech guy that he is always wanting to upgrade was going to throw it out long ago but the user being computer iliterate but a little sedimental convinces the geek friend not to throw it out, but just store it cus "it might be useful sometime"
He uses a base AI program, combinds it with 3.1 and imagry from the online forums pulgs it in, spills some coffee trips on the cord, sparks and light again! and then nothing. He laughs relizing how foolish it was to belive such a ridiculus thing.. and he goes out to buy cleaning stuff for his trashed appartment.....
Meanwhile, back at the users, like as... um.. abnormal? normal daily antics.. however... a shadow is in the background and things keep going wroung like they are being sabotoged! and they are! Just like the other OSes, 3.1 came alive (the geeks calculations were correct but just like before, it took her a little bit to form.. it wasnt instantanius.. Now she, with her little cat dos are causing problems for the other girls.. trying to make them look faulty... But why would sweet little 3.1 do that you ask? Being the oldest one... what do you think her core need would be? If you were and OS, what would be the worst thing that could happen to you?
If you ask me... it would be to be obsoleat. No no longer be of use. If I was her, that would be my number one fear... and the user unlike anyone else, thought she was still useful and saved her from the trash can. Emotionless little 3.1 is not madly in love with the user and is trying to sabotage to other OSes out of jealosy? Trying to get on top of the OS war?
A little more emotion to the wacky hijinks, but in the end, the user will somehow stop the OS war, but only after a few cool battle sceans of 3.1 calling upon dos, and the other girls using their power back! You know, 98 box away! ninja 95 sword, maybe a XP mega ultra lazer blaster or something.. However with dos being a intragal part of the oses Im sure 3.1 would be a decent match for all of them
again, I havent figured out how exactly yet, but the user will stop the fighting and in the end 3.1 will be intagrated into the family and she will find a spot where shes useful and can be by the masters side, who rivalry and competion for his attention will continue.
anyhow, those were just some of the thoughts me and my bud were thinking about. One major problem we see so far tho.. is that the geek friend may be to interesting for the user to compeat with... the user must be flushed out more to make him more appealing. Tho.. i forgot to go into the geeks flaws... as I said he is going to be a otaku and a DOMIT meaning a drooling perverted guy, always doing things to make the girls shreik and such. His tastes may have effected a few things like character design on the AIs.. so they may come to question his motives for creating some of the revealing clothing they wear or the fact that he made 98 a little girl (damn lolis!!)
anyhow... thats enough for that rant, time to fine food
I am willing to contribute!
I can feed you any random ideas, and I may be willing to even *gasp* draw!
ehe.. well, hopefuly I'll have enough free time. It's something I tend to lack no matter how much time management skills I "learn"
My empty devART site is a testament to that.
Well about a month here Ill be kicking it up into high gear on this so any help would be appriciated.
This was a random thought that came to my head...
Norton and McAfee battling a hoarde of giant viruses, worms, and trojan horses.
With a multitude of weaponry.
....That needs to be updated constantly.
And... The two don't get along so well? Due to Doc Norton being a perverted old guy and all...
How this can be integrated into a story that hasn't been made, I have no idea. Gotta add other stuff... like, why did this happen in the first place... Of course... they'd have to be protecting the OS-tans... and that would mean, they should be in trouble of some sort....
bah, you guys think for me. I'm tired. lol
...I like drawing action scenes, but I really suck. haha I'm better with more "still" pictures. So, anyway, I'll just blurt my random ideas here whenever they come.
Im alright with action sceans, but I also have no problem with trying to draw things I dont normaly.
Actually I have a flash video that showes that. Most of the flash is about the 98's but there is a part in it where the virus buster programs go to fight, norton doing some kung fu stuff, and mcafee has a battalion of tanks at her disposal
QuoteActually I have a flash video that showes that. Most of the flash is about the 98's but there is a part in it where the virus buster programs go to fight, norton doing some kung fu stuff, and mcafee has a battalion of tanks at her disposal
Really? Where can I find it?
i dont knwo where on line, I have it on my comp.. ive been meanign to unload the like 10 OS tan flashes I have on pitkin so he can put them in the downloads
like I have the troubled windows actuall flash, that you can click on things and interact with it
QuoteI have the troubled windows actuall flash, that you can click on things and interact with it
It's pretty cool. I have quite a few of them, but I also have several video files.
Basic idea should be the user and his many Operating Systems, who became alive and try to get his love and fight among themselves. Some story ideas:
* first story: (User writes a letter) Hello Robert, they indeed didn throw me out of the house after I forgot to pay the rent. (picture of a spacious house) until further notice, I live in the house, where my parents used to live - right in the middle of nowhere. (picture of many different computers and software-shelves). Everything here is full of the weird projects my Dad worked on. I guess he had any OS every released for his job. (he writes again/alternatively, he goes to the mailbox) I call you as soon the electricity works! Toshi
(User puts a box labelled 'Operating Systems' in a room) (user closes the door, which is labelled: 'Verkörperungskammer', User thinks: "Why did Dad still use German for everything? He lived in the US since decades!") (lights suddenly go on, User thinks: "Great, electricity working!") (loud noises are heard from the door, user is confused, says: "What... the...") (door opens, OS-tans come out, user says: "...fuck!")!
A later story idea would be the following: Dos goes Unix. DOS-tan is very depressed after her favorite system disk stopped working and she can not find another 5 1/4 inch floppy disk. Linux-tan sees the crying creature and asks her what's up, DOS-tan cries: "I am obsolete!" Linux-tan (who in previous stories already showed that she has no grasp on capitslism or commercial software) asks why DOS-tan then does not patch itself. Linux-tan tells the confused DOS-tan that she is the same OS since 1991. DOS-tan is amazed and wants to become a Linux-tan as well. She starts wearing Linux-tan like (but simpler and shabbier) clothes (which however have "cygwin" instead of a USB-logo and the KDE-gear of the helmet is missing). The other OS-tans and the user get annoyed by her since she wants to be a Unix-tan but isn't (for example fails at multitasking, still has no idea what the internet is). Eventually, User gives her a new system disk (which is labelled "FreeDos") and shows her that DOS still is developped and used. The last scene should show the user gaming a tetris or such.
* Linux-tan goes shopping: Linux-tan takes the purse of user and interestedly checks its contents. for her, the banknotes are just paper with pictures she calls the coins "exported from SuperTux". User wants to explain her capitalism and goes shopping with her. She however is so OpenSource-centered that she fails to understand the concept of buying and selling (idea: asks the butcher to give her some meat and she would make goulash for her and him).
QuoteQuote from : Kami-Tux
Basic idea should be the user and his many Operating Systems, who became alive and try to get his love and fight among themselves. Some story ideas:
* first story: (User writes a letter) Hello Robert, they indeed didn throw me out of the house after I forgot to pay the rent. (picture of a spacious house) until further notice, I live in the house, where my parents used to live - right in the middle of nowhere. (picture of many different computers and software-shelves). Everything here is full of the weird projects my Dad worked on. I guess he had any OS every released for his job. (he writes again/alternatively, he goes to the mailbox) I call you as soon the electricity works! Toshi
(User puts a box labelled 'Operating Systems' in a room) (user closes the door, which is labelled: 'Verkörperungskammer', User thinks: "Why did Dad still use German for everything? He lived in the US since decades!") (lights suddenly go on, User thinks: "Great, electricity working!") (loud noises are heard from the door, user is confused, says: "What... the...") (door opens, OS-tans come out, user says: "...fuck!")!
A later story idea would be the following: Dos goes Unix. DOS-tan is very depressed after her favorite system disk stopped working and she can not find another 5 1/4 inch floppy disk. Linux-tan sees the crying creature and asks her what's up, DOS-tan cries: "I am obsolete!" Linux-tan (who in previous stories already showed that she has no grasp on capitslism or commercial software) asks why DOS-tan then does not patch itself. Linux-tan tells the confused DOS-tan that she is the same OS since 1991. DOS-tan is amazed and wants to become a Linux-tan as well. She starts wearing Linux-tan like (but simpler and shabbier) clothes (which however have "cygwin" instead of a USB-logo and the KDE-gear of the helmet is missing). The other OS-tans and the user get annoyed by her since she wants to be a Unix-tan but isn't (for example fails at multitasking, still has no idea what the internet is). Eventually, User gives her a new system disk (which is labelled "FreeDos") and shows her that DOS still is developped and used. The last scene should show the user gaming a tetris or such.
* Linux-tan goes shopping: Linux-tan takes the purse of user and interestedly checks its contents. for her, the banknotes are just paper with pictures she calls the coins "exported from SuperTux". User wants to explain her capitalism and goes shopping with her. She however is so OpenSource-centered that she fails to understand the concept of buying and selling (idea: asks the butcher to give her some meat and she would make goulash for her and him).
The main character on the story based on Kami-Tux's thought is Linux-tan...which couldn't be helped coz he is a Linux user...
But i believe each of us have its own story to build, different environment on its own characters and different settings...but we should really respect Capt's wishes on this project.
No, it's not supposed to be the main character... I just started having many Linux-tan ideas when thinking about the comic.
Another idea would be the user sometimes stealing away, the OS-tans want to find out what he is doing, ME-tan tries to sneak behind him to find out what he is doing - the eventually see that he's at a friend's house to use a real computer, where the OS is no girl (the OS might be NetBSD?). ME-tan climbed up to look through the window and upon seeing and hearing the user and the friend, ME-tan gets angry and beat on the window, since she is ME-tan, she does it incoherently and falls down. Only reason, why sshe is not injuredis because some guys were carrying a mattress and ME-tan falls on it.
I maybe forgot to say: I thought it would be a good idea that in the basic idea of the action (Nerdish User, who never came close to a cute girl and his countless OSes suddenly coming alive) there are several episodes, and those users here, who can think of episodes with their favorite OS-tans, should provide them so they can be assembled into a bigger story...
I suddenly had a thought:
Why don't we start with 4koma strips, based on gags, and then move up to longer stories?
BTW, Kami-Tux, it is an unspoken rule to edit posts rather than post twice. No penalty, just a little reminder.
Quote from: "SleepyD"
With a multitude of weaponry.
....That needs to be updated constantly.
Well for this I had the idea of a Yu-Gi-Oh stryle of summoning *.exe girls or *.dll girls like in the gallery. Then they would fight the worms and stuff.
[note: Directly following this concise post is the long and drawn out - "this is me thinking" post so you can see how I came up with this]
The point to this post is - here is a story, from start to finish - down on paper. Something I havn't seen yet in regards to the comic. You guys start with panneling first without an idea to where your story is going. This gives a 'road map' as in what to pannel...
That's bare bones what we need to do in the first issue.
1) The user plays with new equipment he needs to work on from home
2) Rat gets into the computer and does his thing without being noticed
3) Master Goes to Work
4) Girls Manifest
5) Girls "Fix" the bachelor pad and ruin everything
6) Master Comes Home
7) Much arguing and screaming go here
8) Master realizes what caused it but doesn't know how to fix the problem
9) Conclusion: Master agrees to let the girls stick around and they try to get along while he tries to get them back into the computer.
Cast-
Gordon: Aka "Gordo" - Geeky Otaku Sys Admin for Microsofts R&D/achive servers. "Master"
Mikey: Gordon's Co-Worker and friend
The Boss: Faceless guy who works Gordon and Mikey to death
3.1 - Quiet reserved curioius girl who likes to try and figure stuff out, the pioneer!
ME - Green hair'ed 'blond bimbo' who is a walking eating machine and disaster area
2K - Upstanding, by the book professional. think high society girl with manners and ediquete.
The rat - Catalist that takes a loo break on the mother board and might get chased around by Dos from time to time...
Settings-
The Appartment/house/studio - whatever!
The Work Place!
OS Girls virtual world
And the plot broken down more specifically
*****************************
1) The user plays with new equipment he needs to work on from home
1.a - Gordon is talking to Mikey using a bloototh wireless ear thingie as he is on his knees working on the internals of a tower case. (2 panels)
1.b - During the conversation (with bubbles in the fore ground) we look around Gordon's appartment to show personality and sloppy bachelor living. (3-4 panels)
1.c - Gordon talks about the new system he is beta testing for the company, a central server with legacy compatability and the new holographic user interface (1-2 panels)
1.d - Gordon talks about the holo chip as he is plugging it in and saudering it to the mother board, and turns the system on without closing the case.
1.e - Call on the other line - It's boss and a server went down. He needs Gordon and Mikey to come into work imediately for system recovery. This will take 32 hours of straight work!
*****************************
2) Rat gets into the computer and does his thing without being noticed
2.a - System boot, show terminal
2.b - Show the rat come in. He is plucky and has personality
2.c - Rat grabs a little tiny roll of toilet paper and walks on two legs into the tower case.
2.d - Show the computer monitor
2.e - Make a spark sound
2.f - Show the monitor with strange characer glyches on the screen as it is booting the server.
2.g - show a crisp black plucky rat staggering out of the tower case with his toilet paper in hand.
******************************
3) Master Goes to Work
3.a Spend a whole page on the boys working furiously, elbow deep in cables and removable drives with screw drivers in their mouths working fruriously to get the servers back up.
******************************
4) Girls Manifest
4.a - '3.1' is shown in her little 'diety kiosk' running her little windows with her cat on her shoulder when a big giant storm barges in and envelopes her (similar things happen to the other girls...) 2-3 pannels "Uh oh!" She says
4.b - '3.1' is 'spit' out of the holo projectors next to the tower case at high velocity and impacts upside down against the book shelves and is buried.
4.c - '3.1' explores the house and finds something with a button that says 'exit' on it and hits the button (a gag neon light sighn and she is just turning it off and on repeatitly)
4.d - Same storm with ME, who's diety kiosk is a bit more cluttered and she just kinda flops out in a face plant as though she fell from the ceiling...
4.e - xp discoveres the kitchen and begins eating everything, then mentions that the place looks like it could use a defrag...
4.f - 2k and her little storm bubble, she manifests on her feet in perfect pose "What in the matrix?"
4.g - 2k walks around and talks to the other two girls, wondering what happened to the server line and where the command line went to send a message to the system admin.
4.h - 2k notices the appartment is in complete chaos and decides to do a 'system repair' on it...
******************************
5) Girls "Fix" the bachelor pad and ruin everything
5.a - Girls realize something is not quite right and start trying to figure out what everything is.
5.b - ME has 'defraged' and broken most of the kitchen appliances and decides to use the cook book on the table to to execute the program and follow directions (end result is cooking oil in a pan set on high)
5.c - 3.1 follows dos around and pushes anything that looks like a button, turning on and off all the lights in the house
5.d - 2k is busy cleaning the house and putting it into order as a girl would, with fluffy girl things appearing. She finds his porn collection and puts in a box that she writes "Recyle bin" on it...
******************************
6) Master Comes Home
6.a - Master is exauhsted and comes home in a zombie trance. He drops his coat off on the couch and crashes out
6.b - Hazy awakening slumber bit. He hears voices - "Is that the sys admin?" "Is that master" "Do we need to reboot" "Where is the executable?" "I think this may be an 'on' swithc..."
6.c - Gordon bolts upright in bed with his sheets bunched around his groin region with XP reaching in... Suddenly the smoke alarm goes off!
******************************
7) Much arguing and screaming go here
7.a fast scene after scene montage here... He puts out the fire, notices all his stuff is rearanged! Freaks out about having 4 girls in his house. ME is xonstantly smiling and being cheerful, 2k is trying to be calm and reasonable, 3.1 is still pushing buttons (because she has a job to do).
7.b Things calm down, time for one liners and witty banter.
*******************************
8) Master realizes what caused it but doesn't know how to fix the problem
8.a Gordon checks the tower and sees the melted silicone and figures if he turns it off then everything will get fixed.
8.b ME brings up the fact that she can't access the hard drives to make a system back up or save current settings before a reboot (question of mortality comes up here)
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9) Conclusion: Master agrees to let the girls stick around and they try to get along while he tries to get them back into the computer.
9.a 2k and Gordon talk it out and gordon agrees that untill he can figure out a way for 2k to talk to the hard drive that he won't turn the power off or attempt a re-boot. For now the girls will help out around the house (where gordon gets all evil and has a fantasy flash, to be slapped by dos the cat to snap out of it)
9.b The eppisode ends when Gordon is called by Mikey to see if he can come over. He says no, and ME says "Oh! A Lan Party" the eppisode ends with "WhoA! YOU HAVE GIRLS OVER THERE?!"
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Scripting and panneling layouts still need to be done. At this point I've got to figure out what gag jokes were going to trhow out there and start working on the diolouge. With this, send me any ideas, just give me a number refrence (ie. 8.a.1) To know where it's getting placed and I'll do my best to fit it in.
eadsja added the following 7 minutes after last message :
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For those in need of serious punishment...
This is me just 'talking out loud' for the first comic issue. Just to show the thoughts that went in behind it. It's formula style writing. For ease of everyone's mind, a condensed and simplified 'bare bones' outline will be posted directly after this post.
This is long and boring but shows my process in writing which may help others. Notice that I took concepts of how and what to push the story forward. All I ever asked is what do I need so I can make what I want happen. This kind of thinking allows a lot more freedom than "What can I do with the tools at hand"
Allright lets take a more mechanical approach to this... Everyone is wrapped about the axle on concepts, lets look at it through a mechanical viewpoint...
Now everyone is wondering about story story story. Let's look at what we have to do for any introduction to anything that's entertaining:
1st Comic = Introduction (as in to introduce the following)
Setting - When and Where
Characters - Who (roles and personality)
Plot - (Aslo sets theme and tone) Conflict(s) to make things interesting and grab your attention
Ending - Open ended or incomplete resolution to make the reader want more.
Now those are the -parts- of an introduction. But all of that is meaningless without a goal.
What is the main goal of the 1st issue? Get the OS Tan girls into the "Master's" life and have them cause all sorts of angst and mischif!
At the start we have our Master, his house and his job.
The girls are in cyber space doing their things.
-We need a vehicle, or device to get the girls from cyber space to the real world.
Okay so what's our vehicle? What cheesy plot device are we going to use to get them from cyberspace to the real world?
Hipshot: Malfunctioning VR hologram interface makes girls real! We can grab a power surge, lightning storm, bug on the motherboard, something. Since I stated we needed to just go ahead and make a definative decision to keep it moving, we will say a rat took a bathroom break on the open circuitry before it was booted.
This is feasable with the suspension of disbelief because: (1) experimental technology + (2) act of god = (3) The wierd Science rule of manifesting Big Boobie Women!
Now the girls are in the real world. We want angst... Whats the worst thing that can happen to a Bachelor? Girls redecorating the whole house for fun and profit! Which means they should manifest while the poor bloke is at work.
1) XP' eats everything in the house and tries to cook (Sets the kitchen on fire as he gets home)
2) 3.1' and Dos decide to go see what toys there are to be played with (cant figure out the blue tooth stuff and makes a mess in the gadget room).
3) 2000' Cleans and re-organizes the whole house (including moving furnature and cleaning unmentionables) - Don't know about you guys, but as a bachelor this last one would be a terror!
Plot and Conflict:
- Next up - Plot angst!
The Master reacts, deals with and tries to get rid of the unwelcome house guests - much funny to occour here. It's the case of three girls invading a single man's living arangements and being unable to leave.
Resolution:
-After plot angst our "master" and the girls are going to accept that they are unable to be returned to cyberspace immedately and must stick arround untill they fix it. So the four of them are going to have to Learn to live together...
That's bare bones what we need to do in the first issue. Here is the recap
1) The user plays with new equipment he needs to work on from home
2) Rat gets into the computer and does his thing without being noticed
3) System is booted up, seems to work normally
4) Master Goes to Work
5) Girls Manifest
6) Girls "Fix" the bachelor pad and ruin everything
7) Master Comes Home
8) Much arguing and screaming go here
9) Master realizes what caused it but doesn't know how to fix the problem
10) Conclusion: Master agrees to let the girls stick around and they try to get along while he tries to get them back into the computer.
And that's the first issue... Simple, Difinitive and from start to finish. Now we just need to make decisioins on details and flesh it out.
*********
Now that the mechanics of what we want to do in the first issue are set down, we just have to flesh out details of why, which will give us direction on where we are going.
The problem I see with visual artists is that they put too much thought into EVERYTHING. You guys are reluctant to shoot from the hip and play with it later. I understand where hat comes from - You guys want to maintain consistancy and have an explination for every piece of furnature and object that is put into place. Let's try to, let's say, quash that for a bit and just go with hip shots here. The key to get a story moving is to keep it simple and make difinitive decisions on the spot.
1 - Setting: We want two to three locations we can explore early in the series. We stick to that few and it's easier for the reader to identify what's going on. Each place has a function to serve with the story.
My suggestions:
1) The house - Our dear user's place
2) User's work place - IE a cubical at microsoft
3) Cyber space -
Since this is comic style we don't /have/ to pinpoint it's exact location, but we do need to know what's in the . We don't need to explain where or how this place came to being - its extended detail we can throw out and save for later.
Parts of the house: (think of this like movie set pieces)
Bedroom
Kitchen
Living room
Computer room
Basement
Attic
Garage
- If we take out the Attic, basement and garage we can pass the place off as an apartment or studio apartment. If not we are stuck with a house. But remember we don't have to explain how or WHY he has the place in the first issue, we just have to give him a place to live, the readers will instantly accept that the guy lives somewhere...
Work Place:
The massive office pit of doom (Cubical City)!
The Bosses Office
The Server Room
CyberSpace - Place where the girls are their own dieties in fantasy environments that fit their personality. (I remember the 'magic' wizards/sorcereses of power pics and we can go with that).
We can also throw in a few city street scenes if we need to for transistions...
Cast and Characters:
Gordon: "Aka Gordo" - Geeky Otaku Sys Admin for Microsofts R&D/achive servers.
Mikey: Gordon's Co-Worker and friend
The Boss: Faceless guy who works Gordon and Mikey to death
3.1 - Quiet reserved curioius girl who likes to try and figure stuff out, the pioneer!
ME - Green hair'ed 'blond bimbo' who is a walking eating machine and disaster area
2K - Upstanding, by the book professional. think high society girl with manners and ediquete.
The rat - Catalist that takes a loo break on the mother board and might get chased around by Dos from time to time...
Now for the characters: Here is where I will probably get flamed for grabbing a stero type and running with it...
Master: Let's make him a sys admin. Admins KNOW the operating systems, server hardware and enough coding to make it feasable to reader to have the stuff he is going to need and do the stuff he is going to do.
So let's make good old - 'Gordo' Gordon... read that in a post somewhere... Gort??? no no... Gordo works...
So let's make good old Gordo a sys admin for the R&D/Archives department of Microsoft, we can make him an assistant server admin so we can keep his age in the mid 20's (23-24?). I know there are a LOT of manga fans out there that want traditional 'younger' protagonists and to do that we can tack on 'prodigy' into the description to push the age down to around 17-21 or younger if you REALLY want to streach it. But it is a moot point. All that is really going to change is some of the back ground props and visual apperance of the character, and not necissarily our behaviors or plot line in any noticable impact.
Now, my brother in law (RL) is a sys admin for defense company here in the DFW area, and he gets calls all the time to go into work to repair and recover downed systems all the time. He has the ability to remote in from home and he has enough wierd computer gear here to make most people think he is a true geek though and through (not the case, he is a punk rocker stuck in a white collar world...) That's what I am basing the mechanics of good old Gordo off off.
Mikey - The older, shaves every other day or so sys admin friend who is his co-worker and drinking buddy. He is a complete womanizer and is the outlandish outgoing, ever confidant and ever slapped bachelor buddy.
The Boss - Un Named intentionally. "Boss wants us to do this, boss wants us to do that..." Shadow face (Think Dr. Claw type personality). I've got a couple ideas where we could go in the long run for this (when vista is ready to make an antagonistic appearance) but for now, he is the slave driver at work to stress Gordo and Mikey out. We only get to interact with him through phone calls in the first couple eppisodes.
The girls are simple: We all know them. Sure there will be debate on whats going on, but I think you all know which renditions I am wanting to use for this.
There we go cast, characters and basic outline. We are now ready to piece it together in more detail.
This is slightly different from my conceptual outline, but an outline is a guide line, not a rule barrier.
Again with the outline:
1) The user plays with new equipment he needs to work on from home
1.a - Gordon is talking to Mikey using a bloototh wireless ear thingie as he is on his knees working on the internals of a tower case. (2 panels)
1.b - During the conversation (with bubbles in the fore ground) we look around Gordon's appartment to show personality and sloppy bachelor living. (3-4 panels)
1.c - Gordon talks about the new system he is beta testing for the company, a central server with legacy compatability and the new holographic user interface (1-2 panels)
1.d - Gordon talks about the holo chip as he is plugging it in and saudering it to the mother board, and turns the system on without closing the case.
1.e - Call on the other line - It's boss and a server went down. He needs Gordon and Mikey to come into work imediately for system recovery. This will take 32 hours of straight work!
2) Rat gets into the computer and does his thing without being noticed
2.a - System boot, show terminal
2.b - Show the rat come in. He is plucky and has personality
2.c - Rat grabs a little tiny roll of toilet paper and walks on two legs into the tower case.
2.d - Show the computer monitor
2.e - Make a spark sound
2.f - Show the monitor with strange characer glyches on the screen as it is booting the server.
2.g - show a crisp black plucky rat staggering out of the tower case with his toilet paper in hand.
3) Master Goes to Work
3.a Spend a whole page on the boys working furiously, elbow deep in cables and removable drives with screw drivers in their mouths working fruriously to get the servers back up.
4) Girls Manifest
4.a - '3.1' is shown in her little 'diety kiosk' running her little windows with her cat on her shoulder when a big giant storm barges in and envelopes her (similar things happen to the other girls...) 2-3 pannels "Uh oh!" She says
4.b - '3.1' is 'spit' out of the holo projectors next to the tower case at high velocity and impacts upside down against the book shelves and is buried.
4.c - '3.1' explores the house and finds something with a button that says 'exit' on it and hits the button (a gag neon light sighn and she is just turning it off and on repeatitly)
4.d - Same storm with ME, who's diety kiosk is a bit more cluttered and she just kinda flops out in a face plant as though she fell from the ceiling...
4.e - xp discoveres the kitchen and begins eating everything, then mentions that the place looks like it could use a defrag...
4.f - 2k and her little storm bubble, she manifests on her feet in perfect pose "What in the matrix?"
4.g - 2k walks around and talks to the other two girls, wondering what happened to the server line and where the command line went to send a message to the system admin.
4.h - 2k notices the appartment is in complete chaos and decides to do a 'system repair' on it...
5) Girls "Fix" the bachelor pad and ruin everything
5.a - Girls realize something is not quite right and start trying to figure out what everything is.
5.b - ME has 'defraged' and broken most of the kitchen appliances and decides to use the cook book on the table to to execute the program and follow directions (end result is cooking oil in a pan set on high)
5.c - 3.1 follows dos around and pushes anything that looks like a button, turning on and off all the lights in the house
5.d - 2k is busy cleaning the house and putting it into order as a girl would, with fluffy girl things appearing. She finds his porn collection and puts in a box that she writes "Recyle bin" on it...
6) Master Comes Home
6.a - Master is exauhsted and comes home in a zombie trance. He drops his coat off on the couch and crashes out
6.b - Hazy awakening slumber bit. He hears voices - "Is that the sys admin?" "Is that master" "Do we need to reboot" "Where is the executable?" "I think this may be an 'on' swithc..."
6.c - Gordon bolts upright in bed with his sheets bunched around his groin region with XP reaching in... Suddenly the smoke alarm goes off!
7) Much arguing and screaming go here
7.a fast scene after scene montage here... He puts out the fire, notices all his stuff is rearanged! Freaks out about having 4 girls in his house. ME is xonstantly smiling and being cheerful, 2k is trying to be calm and reasonable, 3.1 is still pushing buttons (because she has a job to do).
7.b Things calm down, time for one liners and witty banter.
8) Master realizes what caused it but doesn't know how to fix the problem
8.a Gordon checks the tower and sees the melted silicone and figures if he turns it off then everything will get fixed.
8.b ME brings up the fact that she can't access the hard drives to make a system back up or save current settings before a reboot (question of mortality comes up here)
9) Conclusion: Master agrees to let the girls stick around and they try to get along while he tries to get them back into the computer.
9.a 2k and Gordon talk it out and gordon agrees that untill he can figure out a way for 2k to talk to the hard drive that he won't turn the power off or attempt a re-boot. For now the girls will help out around the house (where gordon gets all evil and has a fantasy flash, to be slapped by dos the cat to snap out of it)
9.b The eppisode ends when Gordon is called by Mikey to see if he can come over. He says no, and ME says "Oh! A Lan Party" the eppisode ends with "WhoA! YOU HAVE GIRLS OVER THERE?!"
From here we have to come up with the details of the one liners, technical jargon and specifics (aka the diolauge and panneling). The panneling is new territory for me, but I will get started on the script soon.
Just as an author's point, I chose only 3 OS tans to make the introduction simpler without having to worry about juggling too many characters. This is still pretty skeletal. If you want to throw something in, just use the numbers and lettering scheme to throw in more detail ie 8.a.1 or something like that and we will start hashing out the details.
I painted with broad strokes here, and we have a story from start to finish to introduce the girls. Now we can start getting into the details.
And the writer speaks! And as I expected knowing the person he is, he delivers in large quantitys. Im used to him but it still boggles my mind when I see his work sometimes.
Good format for presenting plot and Ideas, I think I can work well with that. More spicific details/conciderations that should go into the outline tho:
Standard comic books normaly have page numbers in veriables of 8. Your outline is currently limited to 8 which is good, but It may be a bit tight for a first issue. If we want to do 8 later, it seems more feasable for us to get done on a time table, but for the first I think we shoudl be willing to open up and have a good first issue with the most common 16 page at least.
Also... frame count is most commonly around 6 frames a page, tho this can change depending on the situation (say you want to do a large 2 page panorama type shot, or say you have a page with a bunch of small frames for what ever reason)
The first frame of a scean should nearly always be a establishing shot, something to let the reader know that the scean has changed to a differnt location. It stops you from confusing the reader. These are simple and are flexable. It could be a wide angle shot of the street before focusing in on the characcters who are walking down the street talking, or it could be a micro frame in the corner of the page that simply shows the masters appt room number.
When writting outlines it would help me if you had your dialoge at least somewhat written out. I cant plan for speach bubble space if i dont have any idea of whats being said. for each frame describe the action or the shot, possible sound effects, and dilalog.
Characters:
Eads, we discussed this before and I know we never came to any rock solid desicions but once again here or some of my thoughts on it. We both agreed on the 2 buddies concept, but if you remember one was going to be a excentric/geek/otaku/domit while the other was going to be the more sensable normal computer illiterate person.
The later was the master. Reasons why I feel it should be such:
1: Gives the main character more to learn and grow on. Not only does he have to learn to live with the girls, but he has to learn about computers to understand them. Example: me-tan comes down sick, and nothing master tries (chicken soup and the like) works then 2k-tan asks him if he tried antivirus software, and after a blank stare she explains to him about them... That helps the readers know whats going on as well, because not every reader would understand the computer humor (such as the famose c:/dos/run joke)
2: Knowing less about computers will let him view the tans as real people easier as where a techy would accept the computer solution and treat them as the programs they are based on. Plus a techy may be more inclined to try to "take them apart" to see how they work.
On the other hand the buddy could be technologicly inclined. He can be used as a source of info when the master dosent understand something, or a place of conflict if he decideds he wants to figure out how they work and the master has to defend them or stop the buddy. It will also be a point of fustration for the buddy that he is the otaku and has all sorts of "ideas" for the girls but none of them are interested in him, they all like the more sensitive kind and non perverted master.
On a quick note... Gordo just reminds me of Gordon, as in gordon freeman in halflife. a bit of a computer reference. now I wonder if we could get away with that and call the other Adrian.......? Bwahaha.
Okay, onto the tans. I know I talked to you on this one too eads. As much as i Adore 3.1sama I planned to leave her out at first for simplicity sake. In her place I would saggest XP. tho you seem to have confused/combined xp with Me-tan.
Me-tan: troublesome clutsy girl. full time trouble maker.
XP-tan: The hip new girl that always has to look her best. Shes also got one hell of an apitite (for memory or food)
2K-tan: The reliable woman. the one that keeps the others in check and helps the master keep things from getting to far out of hand.
Now I do belive that we should keep it simple for the first issue, ive said it before and Ill say it again. thats part of the reason I saggested leaving 3.1 till later, however I think we could handle more then 3 at first, especialy as I cant think of a expliantion for all three of the girls Im sure I want to have in the story. 95tan and 98-tan may need to be there from the begining if we cant come up with a reason for them to show up later.
98-tan: she is the shy weak willed girl with an innocent crush on the master. However she is one of the older sisters and dislikes it when XP-tan treats her like a kid. Her box can serve as a mascot character, as well as her defender (if we get into combat sceans later, as she is the most frail in body)
95-tan: the mother figure. Once was a powerful warrior against apple, now she sits thoughtfully thinking about the old days while preparing a healthy dinner for the master and messing anything "advanced" (such as USB) up.
As we are doing sort of a harem manga, 3 girls may not really cut it especialy if we have 2 guys.
I think if we up the first issue page count we can handle introducing the 5 girls instead of just 3.
Roles for messing up the B Pad:
2k: your ideas are prefect, we will stick with them.. tho Maybe she should be orginizing the masters desk as a buisness woman would do and let the style orientated XP ad the floofy girl stuff.
XP:floofy girlstuff, and eatting all the food. She may also discover alcohol here.
ME: takes over 3.1s button pushing as well as her previos defraging of things :P
95: She could be the one making cooking disaters at first.
98: shes the only one Im not sure about.. what would she do in an older guys appartment? sit in the corner and cry after finding the "recycling bin?"
However if the user is computer illiterate we will have to figure out why he had to go off with the buddy to work at the same time, and something that worked him into the ground so he passed out without noticing the changes.
Other then that, with a few modifications I think wehave something we can work with for a first issue. Revise or edit as nessicary, I will looki it over one more time, if we agree on everything I will sketch up a rough sketch of this issue and post the sketches on the artwork thread.
This is a story outline, before scripting occours.... When we get generals hashed out I'll work the spartian dialouge together (comic style) then we work on paneling the thing out, as I still have no idea how to work that.
That and sorry for the rehash of old ideas, it's been a while since our last conversation...
Now we have definate workable material here, and some easy fixes...
Gordon is now computer illiterate *poof* - and we can explain why he has to learn all the server stuff and work with Mikey by saying he (old Gordo!) cheated on his job resume and Mikey promised that he would cover his but long enough to learn his job so they could work together. Kind of the best friends stick together no matter what kind of thing.
Think of it like me pulling someone who is incompotent into the office but I like well enough to hold down their job for them untill they can do it themselves. It's doable and would really illustrate the strong relationship between Gordon and Mikey.
So the things I need to do:
-Increase the outline to support 5 girls instead of 3.
-Nix 3.1 and dos
-Fix the role of ME
-Insert XP to fill the blond bimbo role
-95 - I'll base her character loosly of of the samuri Chick from Love Hini (what I remember, it wont be accurate, which is a good thing). And she will get to cook. So she is the quiet, studious perfectionist that can only do a few things well, and fails at everything else...
-98 - High maintinance - likes to play lots of games (Direct X was introduced in this one) and thinks it's better than it is. (Clayton suggested this one). So we give her tiffany's up her nose and make her extremely athletically competitive (the JOCK)
Okay, I'll make the revisions to the outline tommorow and throw it back to you sometime in the late evening.
Visuals and diolouge will come once I correct the outline and start writing things in story mode. I'll probably write it like a short story first then condense it to script format, all the while revising each step of the way.
I might have something tangable for you on Wendsday night: I have the DAI institute, Police report (for the credit thing) and packing to do tommorow. I'll pound out an easy starter script on wendsday, shoot it to you, and have a 2nd revision draft to you by, lets say, Next Monday (I have duty on Sunday, so I can work on the revision and simplification then...)
Once I get that 2nd script done, we will work it down into panels... Because my script will be like a movie script, as I know nothing about the panneling or layout yet (but give me a little research time and I will).
Yeah it has been a while since we sat down and talked project stuff.
if we break the girls down to Love hina equivalents:
Me: come to think of it Im not sure of a Love Hina character that is close to her. Look at Me-tan pics, youll get a feel for her character. Ditzy, and clubsy. Must be watched at all times or else things may just explode. or implode. 2k has traditionaly been her guardian, or at least the one keeping the tightest leash on her.
XP: kitsune: party girl, food lover, and fashion type. If there was a tan that would be all about "cute boys" it would probobly be her. Loud music, drinks, tons of food, fashionable outfits, shes a mall girl.
98: Shinobu key personality trait would be shy, however you do have a point. bill gats himself described as the os that works harder plays harder. She would be the gamer girl of the group. Tho ive never seen her potrayed as snobish.
2k: Naru: THe responsible one. Sometimes concidered bithy because she curbs the outlandish fun the others are having, just cus it happens to be taking down several walls in the process. Book smarts but akward around emotional subjects.
95: not Motoko.. but her sister.. I dont know if you remember her. She was once a powerful sowrds woman but now shes a gental caring family girl, almost mother like, however if you cross her she can turn terrifying in a second.
Dont worry too much about panel layout, thats more my job. Ill probobly be drawing it several times before inking and tonage. the first one will be just to get a feel for the frames. Ill post them and you can look them over and tell me what you think.
But since it seams your going to be a little slower with something I can work with then I thought I will defintly be playing around in the short comic thread untill your done.
I've got a quarter of the script done, sorry about it taking so long. I am just juggling a lot stupid shit here on base. Dude, these temp/tap classes are killer.... Iee.....
Its an interesting project you guys have going. I see your referencing yourself to Negima and Love Hina (more Love Hina, then Negima at this rate.). Out of the question I saw no reference to an solid objective deeper meaning. In Negima and in Love Hina they had deeper meaning part of it which lead to it being very cool in the end, cause it made it despite all the humor seem that it was going somewhere cool. The deeper means of those being...
Love Hina - Keitaro's promise when he was young to one of the girls. (Those have read know but I didn't say for those who HAVEN'T seen/read it yet.)
Negima - Negi's quest to find his father. *Since it hasn't ended yet we don't completely know just yet.*
I mean I liked your plans and everything it all cool but it will seem a bit senseless without a objective that NEVER changes through out the story that will run and be answer at the VERY end. The storyline is cool but without a deeper point it seem it could go on forever, which might sound super cool at first but then it would get boring fast.
FYI: If you DID point it somewhere then I'm sorry for the above post... I did try to read all the posts but some of them are rather... long and easy to get lost in.
true true, the story should have direction. otherwise, there won't be an end. I'm not the writer, so I'm not the one to be talking to.
However, if I can ever get the 4koma thing going, we can have a venue for pointless things without a story. ^^
Well I can see the storyline going two ways currently... ironicly compared to Negima and Love Hina.
If you want a more romance related story going for the main character falling in love with one of the girls is the way to go, maybe take a bit from Chobits and question the moral of falling in love something that is man-made, etc. This would be the most 'Love Hina-ish' as he would have a similar concer to that of Keitaro, while being... 'distracted' by other things.
The other way more parrelle to Negima's. The biggest difference is between to have battles and fights or not to have. Negima had battles, had fights, and shows no sign that its going to stop anytime soon. With Os-tans we can easly throw in virus, worms, and hackers into the mix. Maybe the big wigs want the girls for something else but the main character wants to protect them? This also makes some valid points to bring in characters like Norton, etc. Heck, if you really wanted to make a mess of things throw in a few concepts from Digimon (A digital world turning/coming into the real world), it more easy to make this happen then it seems.
Based on the way you've written or say you have gone I would go with he Love Hina way, since if you guys said you have already written most of the scripts and everything it would be that diffcult to add small points in for the core theme, while if you went with the Negima way of things you would have alter much of the storyline. Just some ideas to shoot out, I want to write a fan fic on the Os-tans so I had already did some thinking of plotting. (Ironicly many of the ideas you guys posted was similar lines I was thinking.) I got more ideas but I'll stop for now to hear how well you take my opinions on this.
QuoteIf you want a more romance related story going for the main character falling in love with one of the girls is the way to go, maybe take a bit from Chobits and question the moral of falling in love something that is man-made, etc. This would be the most 'Love Hina-ish' as he would have a similar concer to that of Keitaro, while being... 'distracted' by other things.
Go with the Hina-esque storyline. You won't have to change it that much, and it would make a more interesting, but oft repeated plot. Oft repeated plot being one in which a nerd is suddenly surrounded by girls. However, that's the plotline that got me interested in most Anime I'm watching! I say run with it!
Sorry for my absence.. the the absence of the main writter
Behind the sceans that has been a concern for sometime. as where I am a rabbid fanboy most of the time, he is not and has been very through at pointing out an major writting flaws like lack of theam. Rest assured we are working on it. Tho very.. very... slowly.... However, if you want to take up work on it dont let me stand in your way. Id love to hear your take on it, as well as I wouldnt mind doodling out some of your stories should you chose to write mini sub plots or anything
I may just take you up on that offer. I got to get my storyboard more properly together though and since my grammar often is semi at best. I often take a very long time to do things. I love writing but I don't have much in the sense of natural talent.
Im ready to draw when ever you come up with something.. My other writter I think bailed on me. hes got collage now down you know -_-
I have an idea if I may that is.
I think it should take place and modernday japan like said earlier the main enimies should be virusis who are in a virusis oganization called D.E.L.E.T.E Their plan is to take over the world and claim it as their own and reshape the universe in their own image.
but of course the os-tans and kuns have a different say about that.
The virusis plans are to first kill father or bill gates and then infect everything with their lethal powers and then take over the earth and then universe. The virusis would also be classified in different classess or generations depending on how powerful and strong they are. like a class S would be a very deadly and class b would not be as deadly or Generation s and B viruses.
this is an idea I came up with a while ago let me know what you guys think of it.
o_o wowsers, that was out of left feild.. tho that might be interesting... tho tweaked to be incoperated as a sub arch in our existing storyline..
Quote from: "CaptBrenden"o_o wowsers, that was out of left feild.. tho that might be interesting... tho tweaked to be incoperated as a sub arch in our existing storyline..
You like i'm gladd I have a lot of ideas rolling around in my head if your interested Cap
can i add on to tht killin Bill Gates, I had an idea tht every time they kill him he come back because he a super pervert just to add a bit of comedy. so he can't died easily.
Hi, again. Umm, I guess the easiest thing to say is that I'm one of the writers on the Digital Complex team now and have already gotten a plot down now. So far it's a compilation of all the previous ideas from this forum so I can't exactly stay it's original, but I'll try my best anyway. If anyone has any ideas they want to give then go ahead and I'll see if I put them in. Fresh ideas are always helpful after all.
RAH, necro post.
But seriously, how is this coming along? It seems interesting.
Yes, I too am interested in this...