OS-tans light bulb jokes
How many ME-tan does it takes to change a light bulb?
No matter how many ME-tan, she (they) will always fail to do it.
How many 95-tan does it takes to change a light bulb?
None. She's busy with her new movie, 'Kill Bill'...no. I mean 'Kill Mac'.
How many 98-tan does it takes to change a light bulb?
One, but she would come out of the mechbox first.
How many 98SE-tan does it takes to change a light bulb?
None. How do you change a light bulb with the tin-opener?
How many XP-tan does it takes to change a light bulb?
One, but varies on the place.
XP-home will change it if the light bulb is at home
XP-pro will change it if the light bulb is at the office.
XP-media center will change it if the light bulb at the cinema and etc.
How many 2k-tan does it takes to change a light bulb?
One, since she is the best of all the OSes. Changing a light bulb willbe a piece of cake.
How many DOS-tan does it takes to change a light bulb?
None, I'm talking about DOS-tan that is 3.1-tan's cat!
How many Saba-tan does it takes to change a light bulb?
Three, but wait! Will Saba-tan, Saba 2k and Vista Saba together tall enough to reach the light bulb?
How many CE-tan does it takes to change a light bulb?
One. Even if she is little. She still HAS wings! Don't you remember?
How many Thunderbird-tan does it takes to change a light bulb?
One, she too, can fly. That would be easy for her.
How many Firefox-ko does it takes to change a light bulb?
None. Look above. Her friend Thunderbird-tan has already done it!
How many Dr. Norton does it takes to change a light bulb?
None. Now he is busy doing the "virus scan"Â on OS-tans.
How many TrendMicro boy does it takes to change a light bulb?
None. Same reason as Dr. Norton.
How many Linux-tan does it takes to change a light bulb?
One, but Tux, that big penguin, must be there too!
And the last one:
How many 3.1-tan does it takes to change a light bulb?
None. You don't need to do that, my lovely 3.1-tan. I will do it for you.
>_<
all righty then... o_o
It's not a bad start. ^__^
We need some Mac-tans, though, and maybe even some *cough cough* Vintage-tans. -v-
BTW, Panithan,... Have you considered adding a 3.1-sama avatar? 'v'
Well, I don't have much information about Vintage-tans and Mac-tans. - -'
My only information site for OS-tans is at...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_OS-tans
Quote from: "panithan"Well, I don't have much information about Vintage-tans and Mac-tans. - -'
My only information site for OS-tans is at...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_OS-tans
Whose editors, I might add, includes a few members here. ^^
Jeff can't think up jokes. When Jeff gets ideas, Jeff gets ideas. And brain isn't making anything funny at this point apart from speaking in third-person.
QuoteHow many 3.1-tan does it takes to change a light bulb?
None. You don't need to do that, my lovely 3.1-tan. I will do it for you.
>_<
I like this guy. He has my seal of approval. Tho im not sure if I like him getting so close to 3.1sama *suspicius eyes* ¬_¬
QuoteWell, I don't have much information about Vintage-tans and Mac-tans. - -'
My only information site for OS-tans is at...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_OS-tans
QuoteWhose editors, I might add, includes a few members here. ^^
Precisely! ^o^
And besides that, the "information site" also includes excerpts on Mac and at least
one vintage-tan (Amiga-san).
To have come up with jokes for all of them, even obscure ones like that Buster Brat, while glossing over the exceptionally cute ones...!
Unforgivable, I say! Shinanigans!! ;^0^;
You will drop down now, and give me 200........... bahts..... -v-
Well, but then you're still relatively new, and not acquainted with all the new OS-tans made and/or in progress...
http://ostan.blackdiam.net/viewtopic.php?t=231
...so I'll forgive you. -v-
But just this once. ^.^
Not sure if the Linux fans will forgive you, though.
You did make GNU/Linux-tan sound vaguely weak when she is, in fact, FAR more powerful than 2K-tan. Even DSL-tan ["Damn Small Linux"] has enough bulb-changing power in her little finger, than your average Window-tan has in her entire body. -v-
QuoteHow many System 1-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. Anything can be solved by swinging a hammer at it!
How many System 2-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None if she can rewrite history so that lightbulb-screwing-in has never been needed!
How many System 5-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Wait a minute? What? There's a System 5-tan?!
(for the reference, she can't be seen by many people. In zerOSanity, most non Mac-tans believe her existance is only an urban legend)
How many System 6-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. Reason similar to System 1-tan's, but with bazookas!
BWAHAHA!!!! ^V^
The Mac OS2-chan is my favorite. ^___^
And environmentally-friendly.... ^.^
Lesse,... not particularly good with jokes, but I'll have a go at a few.... -v-
*clears throat*
How many System 9-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Are you nuts?! And risk exposing a panty shot to this perverted OSX-kuns?!
How many Amiga-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. one to screw it on, the other to draw beautiful pictures on it. ^__^
How many RISC OS-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, if you don't march to the store RIGHT NOW and buy some CFLs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compact_fluorescent_lamp)!
[Note: RISC OS is one of the most environmentally-friendly OSes in existence.]
How many OS/2 Warp-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
That's an insult! Better to ask "How many lightbulbs can be screwed in by a single OS/2-tan?"!
[Multithreading! ^V^]
QuoteI like this guy. he has my seal of approval. Tho im not sure if I like him getting so close to 3.1sama *suspicius eyes* Ã,¬_Ã,¬
Fufufu.... Careful with this guy.... Ã,¬vÃ,¬
Betcha the moment I finish the 2.0/3.11-sama pic, he'll come over and snatch it before you do. ^__^
Hmm...indeed. This new member seems to be quite good! Anyway, I've got a few of my own:
How many Windows 1.0-tans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but she has to stand precariously on DOS-tan!
How long does it take for Vistan to screw in a light bulb?
About seven years!
How many Commodore PET's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, unless you type:
10 motor 1
20 motor 0
30 goto 10
NewYinzer,... YOU - ARE - GAWD!!!!! ^V^
You even have the super-secret PET Basic command that will literally fry her. ^___^;
..............Oh wait, not sure if we want to make that public knowledge.... Ã,¬vÃ,¬'
Anyway, just so Panithan knows who we're talking about....
Windows 1.0:
(http://www.verytragicalmirth.com/ArturoArt/Win1-tan.png)
Vista-tan [one of the versions, anyway]:
(http://ostan.matrix.jp/vista/src/1124464574395.jpg)
PETchan:
(http://www.verytragicalmirth.com/ArturoArt/CommodorePET-tan.png)
QuoteI like this guy. he has my seal of approval. Tho im not sure if I like him getting so close to 3.1sama *suspicius eyes* Ã,¬_Ã,¬
Fufufu.... Careful with this guy.... Ã,¬vÃ,¬
Betcha the moment I finish the 2.0/3.11-sama pic, he'll come over and snatch it before you do. ^__^
NEVAR! O_O
So, there are still a lot about OS-tans that I don't know...
Don't worry, we're here to help. ^__^
Err... umm... :|
How many Windows ME-tans are needed to replace an old light bulb?
-The question makes no sense. It should be, 'how many old light bulbs are needed to reformat Windows ME-tan?' The sad thing is that, no matter which way one looks at the problem, there're no visible solutions.
How many Windows XP-tans are needed to change a light bulb?
-Critical memory exception! Would you like to try running this programme in Windows 2000 compatibility mode instead?
How many Amiga-tans are needed to change a light bulb?
-There's no need to do that, as Amiga-tan can meditate also in complete darkness.
How many Commodore 64-tans are needed to change a light bulb?
-Just one, and she can do it with fine precision. However, be prepared to wait up to 20 minutes as she processes the request.
QuoteHow many Amiga-tans are needed to change a light bulb?
-There's no need to do that, as Amiga-tan can meditate also in complete darkness.
I don't mind crashing ME and XP, but
HIDOI PTIKIN!!! Crashing poor Amiga-chan like that....! ;^___^;
Figured you'd contribute for 64-chan.... ^__^
Which reminds me, isn't it about time we gave her a nickname? 'v'
Can't do "Roku Ju Yon-chan",..... O_o
But maybe "Pan-chan", in reference to the older breadbox machine. ^__^
Just some friendly joking between us Commodores and Amigas. ^^
'Komodoa-san' would be Japanification of Commodore, and 'Rokuyon/Rokushi-san' would be six-four (in Finnish language C64 is commonly referred to as 'C-six-four' instead of 'sixty-four'). :D
I kind of like 'Pan-chan'... ^__^
Ops, I've no light bulb joke for this post. ^^;
Quote from: "Pitkin"Just some friendly joking between us Commodores and Amigas. ^^
Cuuuuue.... ^.^
I only have an OS/2-tan with me....
I'm so jealous..... ^v^
Quote'Komodoa-san' would be Japanification of Commodore, and 'Rokuyon/Rokushi-san' would be six-four (in Finnish language C64 is commonly referred to as 'C-six-four' instead of 'sixty-four'). :D
Well 3 syllables [Rokushi] beats 4 [Komodoa], so that'd make a nice backup nick. ^.^
I still call her "Sixty-Four" out of pure force of habit. ^^;
QuoteI kind of like 'Pan-chan'... ^__^
(http://www.evasolo.dk/billeder/Products-breadbox-dele/bread_foto1.jpg)
+(http://www.zock.com/8-Bit/C64-I.JPG)
=(http://www.verytragicalmirth.com/ArturoArt/Commodore64-tan.png)
PAN-CHAN!!!! ^V^
You got it. ^__^
As for Amiga-chan, I still have "Lorraine" and "Miggy", but always open for suggestions. ^___^
;022 off topic!
How many doskittys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
C:\dos\screw
Unknown command
It would be better to post other jokes rather than only the light bulb jokes. ;003
before that...how about this!!
Question: How many ME-tan does it takes to change the light bulbs?
Answer:
(http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j186/panithan/Windows_9X_BSOD.jpg)
Quote from: "panithan"before that...how about this!!
Question: How many ME-tan does it takes to change the light bulbs?
Answer:
(http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j186/panithan/Windows_9X_BSOD.jpg)
Getting better, looks like we have some budding comedian here...
Touche. -v-
But should at least mix in some more Apple jokes. ^__^
How do you like these apples:
How many Lisa-tans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but that'll be $9995, sir!
How many Apple ///-tans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw in the light bulb and another to drop her to make sure her motherboard doesn't warp!
BWAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! ^V^
That's CLASSIC! [pun intended... -v-]
*telephones Microsoft customer support*
"Hello, this is Binlala. How may I help you?"
"How many OS-tans does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
"That'll be $35."
"Thank you."
*hangs up*
;080
=^..^=
How many Linux-tans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one. But the light bulb must be free of charge, and the schematics of said bulb must be available to everyone. (She can use ones that cost money, but some occupants of the room may suddenly complain harshly).
Ten symptoms to say that you're obsessed in OS-tan
1. You love to study about Operating System related subjects.
2. You hopelessly cry when you are going to "format" your computer.
3. You still cry when the "blue screen of death" appears.
4. You name your two younger sisters Hacchan and Secchan.
5. You name your dog "INU-T", name your cat "DOS", name your fish "Saba".
6. You thought Peter Pan had a fairy name CE.
7. You favorite fast food shop is 'Mac' Donald.
8. You thought that XP-tan is not the real because they don't have the "Microsoft Genuine Advantage" star symbol.
(http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j186/panithan/genuine.jpg)
9. You love to play with scallions.
10. YOU READ THESE
ME-tan walked into a bar....
Ouch!
-_- I forgot to mention I just got a new cat. black. I named it dos -_-
I am officialy obsessed.
Quote from: "CaptBrenden"-_- I forgot to mention I just got a new cat. black. I named it dos -_-
I am officialy obsessed.
I have a black cat, called Mo.
Quote*telephones Microsoft customer support*
"Hello, this is Binlala. How may I help you?"
"How many OS-tans does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
"That'll be $35."
"Thank you."
*hangs up*
BWAHAHA!!! ^V^
Reminds me of the time my bro was installing XP Home when it first came out and couldn't get it to work. 2 hours with M$ Tech support could not fix what I accidentally resolved in 2 minutes. ^_~
QuoteHow many Linux-tans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one. But the light bulb must be free of charge, and the schematics of said bulb must be available to everyone. (She can use ones that cost money, but some occupants of the room may suddenly complain harshly).
BWAHA!!!!!! SO TRUE!!!!!!! GO OPEN SOURCERY!!!! ^V^
Seriously, I'm loving my Xubuntu machine. Currently I have it dedicated to all my torrent downloading and seeding. ^-^
QuoteTen symptoms to say that youââ,¬â,,¢re obsessed in OS-tan
1. You love to study about Operating System related subjects.
Hehe,... I even downloaded the Demo CD of eComStation just to get a feel for the new OS-tan I'm making. Methinks that makes me officially obsessed. ^_____^;
You can have your OS-tans, im going SW-tans.
Hehe... as long as I get to see an avatar and signature of Ad-Aware-tan, you've got my full-backing. -v-
How many Gentoo-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, provided you have enough time until she manufactored the lightbulb on her own.
How many FreeDOS-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2: one to screw it in and one to tell her how MSDOS-tan behaved differently during the task.
How many HURD-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One and she will do it in the most elegant way ever. The only drawback is that she'll only arrive in half a year.
How many DSL-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, if you give her enough time and a mountain-climber-equipment. And a video-camera because no one will believe you.
How many tinfoilhat-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
"No, I won't screw it in. Lightbulbs contain cameras which record everything in the room to the alien invaders!"
How many Vis-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
one if you have a license for every room she screws in lightbulbs.
HAHAHAHA! Those are very good, especially the TinfoilHat-tan one! :D
i'm interested in how many tiger-tans are needed to screw a bulb^ ^the problem of motherboard was a very old problem of apple computers in old years(maybe apple ii or macintosh... i forgot-v-)
One BSD-tan to screw it in and one Tiger-tan to take the fame for it. (Mac OS X is based on the OpenSource OS Darwin, which is a BSD)
QuoteMac OS X is based on the OpenSource OS Darwin, which is a BSD
Actually, Darwin is based more off of NeXTSTEP, besides which Apple developed both Darwin and Tiger extesivly, so I think they deserve credit.
well, the German Wikipedia didn't even mention NextStep, the English does, so you're right. *eats its words*
3 OS-tans work undercover in a big company. After a while, the boss asks them to come in his buereau and says: "I have heard that you 3 are OS-tans... I think I can figure out who you are." He looks at the green-haired girl: "You look pretty but fail at everything you attempt, you are ME-tan." the Os-tan nods. He points at the brown-haired girl, who feels defenseless without her helmet and her spear: "You don't look that pretty, but you are a good worker, especially when many things happen, are you Lnux-tan?" She nods. He looks at the third OS-tan. "You are OS/2-tan, right?" OS/2-tan is delighted that he knows her. "That was hard to find out: you are a good worker, you look pretty, but nearly no one knows that you work here."
ok i know, anyway we need more than one osx-tan right?^ ^
How many 3.1tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, a goddess need but say, let there be light! and there will be no need for lightbulbs
-v- i'm interested in who will be that goddess-v-
BTW did god say "let there be light" on the second day?
3.1sama of course. Have you acceptet 3.1 as your goddess and savior?
QuoteBTW did god say "let there be light" on the second day?
Nope, according to most christian religions, God created Light and Dark on the first day. ^^ (Genesis 1:3)
Why does the ME-tan cross the road?
To help her master
How does the ME-tan cross the road?
it runs to her master, falls down, stands up, runs some more, freez3es... good thing the road is blocked for traffic.
Why does OS/2-tan cross the road?
She saw that ME-tan.
Why did 3.1-tan cross the road?
She followed her DOSkitten.
How did 3.1-tan cross the road?
CaptBrenden carried her over it so she did not need to walk. ( :p )
Why does ReactOS cross the road?
Because the Windows-girls are doing it.
How does DSL-tan cross the road?
no one knows, she was so fast we have not seen her doing so.
Why does Tiger-tan cross the road?
Because it's the Intel Boulevard
(think: runs on Intel)
How does Gentoo-tan cross the road?
well, first she builds the road...
is DSL-tan NDS Lite-tan? i guess maybe PSP-tan is faster-v-
p.s. panther can't run on intel, only tiger and leopard can^ ^
Fixified the Mac one.
DSL-tan is Damn small linux-tan, a tiny Linux-distribution. What is NDS Lite or PSP?
NDS Lite - Nintendo DS Lite, which is to the ordinary NDS like SP was to GBA.
PSP - Playstation Portable, SonyPlaystation's portable console.
And also...
Why did Komepo cross the road?
THERE WAS RICE ON THE OTHER SIDE!!!
I thought of a nerdy joke yesterday on the train to Düsseldorf:
How many Plan 9-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Exactly as many as you assign for that task.
(Plan 9 is ideal for distributed computing in which parts of a program run on different computers)
How many Minix-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Not possible, Tanenbaum did not implement this functionality in order not to bloat the OS.
How many Zenwalk-tans (http://ostan-collections.net/imeeji/displayimage.php?album=136&pos=12) does it take to change a lightbulb?
3. One to change it, one not to change it and one neither to change it nor not to change it.
My rubbish try:
Why did Linux-Tan cross the road?
Because she lost her Red Hat...
Why did Tsubashi cross the road?
No space marines on the other side ^^
Why didnt the space marine cross the road?
Holy blessed blessed bolter rounds have a range of over 1500 meters for a point target.
QuoteHow many Zenwalk-tans does it take to change a lightbulb?
3. One to change it, one not to change it and one neither to change it nor not to change it.
Thanks for digging up that incredibly old pic of mine, heehee :D
Why did Secchan cross the road? Cause Homeo was on the other side ;015
kowai-desu bella-san ^~^
But i guess i should give this another go...
Why did Homeko cross the road?
A: Because Homeo was on the other side...wait what!?
B: Because Hard Gay was on the other side.
C: Because she just couldn't resist the smell cookies.
D: Because Bella told her there were bishies on the other side!
Added after 3 minutes:
Also...
How many Homekos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to force Homeo to do it, one to terrorize said Homeo while he's working, and one to draw yaoi doujins about it all.
Bwah!! Jokes for my favorite OS/OS-tan pervert :P
Now for some Vista fun...
How many Vistans does it take to screw in a light bulb? All six of them.
One to stand on the latter holding the bulb, two to spin the latter around, the fourth to attack the light bulb because it posed a potential danger to security, the fifth to stand around looking pretty, and the sixth to call M$ headquarters to tell father how the whole thing went XD
Why did the Vistan cross the road? Because Ubuntu-tan and Leopard-tan were walking toward her!
Why did the XP-tans cross the road? Because they're great!
(Okay, shameless little Windows XP plug, lol!)
Q: How many Minix-tans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 2, they are small enough for that.
(to screw in != to screw ;) )
Quote from: "panithan"Ten symptoms to say that you're obsessed in OS-tan
1. You love to study about Operating System related subjects.
2. You hopelessly cry when you are going to "format" your computer.
3. You still cry when the "blue screen of death" appears.
4. You name your two younger sisters Hacchan and Secchan.
5. You name your dog "INU-T", name your cat "DOS", name your fish "Saba".
6. You thought Peter Pan had a fairy name CE.
7. You favorite fast food shop is 'Mac' Donald.
8. You thought that XP-tan is not the real because they don't have the "Microsoft Genuine Advantage" star symbol.
(http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j186/panithan/genuine.jpg)
9. You love to play with scallions.
10. YOU READ THESE
:) INU-T!!!! if i get a dog im going to name it INU-T I read this so im obsessed with os-tans?
How many Intel-tans does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifty-one. One to change the light bulb, and fifty to make a high profile commercial about the event.
How many AMD-tans does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change the bulb, and two to tell their friends how AMD-tan did it so much faster than Intel-tan.
How many days does it take Gentoo-tan to change a light bulb?
Three days if it's just one Gentoo-tan, one day if you distribute the work with four other Gentoo-tans. (Gotta love distcc clusters.)
Quote from: "Tsubashi"QuoteMac OS X is based on the OpenSource OS Darwin, which is a BSD
Actually, Darwin is based more off of NeXTSTEP, besides which Apple developed both Darwin and Tiger extesivly, so I think they deserve credit.
Arent all os-es based on UNIX in one way or another?
^ No, not all OSes are UNIX-based. A lot are though.
Some well-known examples of OSes that aren't UNIX-based in any way include Windows, DOS and the Classic Mac OS.
wow, I always thought that DOS was UNIX based and that Windows was and still is (basically) a DOS-Shell (DOS has even managed to creep into Vista)
Quotewow, I always thought that DOS was UNIX based and that Windows was and still is (basically) a DOS-Shell (DOS has even managed to creep into Vista)
I thought the same thing at first; While it is true that Unix has had influence, in some way, on just about every OS...DOS, pre-OSX Macs and Windows aren't related to Unix (as Aurora pointed out).
Windows was something of a MS DOS shell until Me. NT-based Windows, including 2k, XP and Vista, aren't related to MS DOS though; their heritage can be found more in VMS and OS/2 than anything else (thus more stability and power than their DOS-based counterparts).
But shhhh...it's a secret ;)
My lips are sealed... ;010
you people are funny