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DO YOU EVEN LIFT?

Started by NejinOniwa, January 08, 2013, 06:49:51 PM

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NejinOniwa

YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS

Bella

Maybe I'm missing something here, but..... huh?

Nichi


Dr. Kraus

SON, I LIFT 24 HOURS A DAY OKAY. DON'T. EVEN. TEST.

I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Pitkin

Good luck with the gorillas.

NejinOniwa

YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS

Dr. Kraus

Hey Nejin, just wondering...



also


NejinOniwa

#7
Do you even Saab J21?

Yeah, I didn't think so.
GET ON MY ALTITUDE BITCH
YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS

Chocofreak13

no bitch, no. i don't lift.

I FUCKING VAULT YOUR ASS OUT THE DOOR. I HEAVE YOUR SORRY ASS UP AND SHOW YOU TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD, MAN. CLOSING TIME, MOTHERFUCKER, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME BUT YOU CAN'T. STAY. HERE. LOOK AROUND, IT'S 3 AM UP IN THIS HOUSE AND IT'S TIME YOU SAID HELLO TO THE FUCKING YELLOW SUN. SO ALLOW ME TO HELP YOU IN YOUR SUNDAY SALUTATIONS WITH A NICE BIG FUCKING LIIIIIIIIFT. THINK IT'S TIME YOU SAT YO' ASS DOWN IN THIS HERE COMFY CHAIR AS YOU KICK BACK AND LET ME LIIIIIIFT. WASTE THE DAY AWAY WITH YOUR LITTLE PUSS ARMS AS I EAT YOU FOR BREAKFAST. WASH IT DOWN WITH A GALLON OF STRAWBERRY QUIK. BURST OUT THE DOOR TO THE TUNE OF LEEEROOOOY JENKIIIINSSSS AND START THE DAY THE PUMP-UP WAY: WITH PLENTY OF BACON AND LIIIIIIIFT. SPRINT DOWN THE STREET AND WAVE A NICE BIG FUCKING FRIENDLY HELLO TO THE OLD LADY DOWN THE STREET. WHAT'S THAT? HER CAT'S IN THE TREE? I THINK IT'S TIME FOR SOME LIIIIFT UP IN HERE. AFTER PLAYING SUPER FUCKING HERO AND FLYING OFF INTO THE SUNSET PERHAPS I SHALL TAKE A MERRY STROLL DOWN MEMORY LANE AS I REMEMBER MY LIFT WHILE I LIIIIFT. YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE LIFT SO I PUT IN SOME FUCKING INCEPTION, BITCH. AFTER THIS LIFTVENTFUL FUCKING DAY IT'S TIME FOR SOME REST. WAIT, DID YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR? THE WHINER WANTS TO SLEEP. WELL LET ME GIVE YOU THE MEMO, BITCH, TONIGHT WE LIIIIIIIIIIFT

(i just broke it didn't i)
click to make it bigger

NejinOniwa

You may have. You may have.

Or you may have LIFT it to the next level. Who knows?
YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS

Chocofreak13

i have to admit, that was fun to write. if i had more inspiration i would have dropped more references. now, how to make grumpy cat LIFT accessable....
click to make it bigger

LeaflameSD


PizzaDrill

Quote from: NejinOniwa on January 09, 2013, 05:45:33 PM
Do you even Saab J21?

Yeah, I didn't think so.
GET ON MY ALTITUDE BITCH
Lockheed/Martin SR71 Blackbird was here, Saab J21 is a loser.

Get on my altitude.

(note that actual spacecraft do not utilize air-pressure-based lift to achieve high altitude, so using them in this argument will be deemed invalid).