Relationships

[Nichi]

[blows the dust off of the topic]

So, has I mentioned over in the favorite TV shows topic, I have many stories with dealing with my cousins on my mom's side of the family...and given how I didn't want to derail the post too much from "my experience with the garbage that is Bibleman", I decided to revive this old topic and share some of these....going in order of age from oldest to youngest.

As for my oldest cousin, I never had much to do with her; truth be told, I completely forgot she existed when I had a (false) realization that I was in the exact middle in terms of grandchildren on that side of the family. Although, given how she got married and ran off to Florida, and as such rarely appears at family gatherings, it's easy to forget. Granted, the rest of the family on that side frowns upon her being married to a black man (Although keeping their true feelings hidden behind a plastic smile when she's around (Think like the music video to Soundgarden's Black Hole Sun. There's a reason why even my mom prefers to spend time with dad's side of the family over her own)). At the very least, it was my oldest cousin and my sister that ended up creating an idea for a story during one of their slumber parties, which I would eventually take it and run after being told about it, using it as the basis for what would become The Adventures of Princess Lan several years later; the first story of what would eventually become Director Who.

Now, I had more to do with my older cousin. Throughout most of the '90s, I saw him as my rival in everything; he was to me as Gary Motherfucking Oak was to Ash. Just, it felt like he was better than me in every regard; he had cooler toys, he got all of the hottest new video games while I was stuck renting them several times over, he didn't have as strict of a bedtime, he could watch all of the shows my mom wouldn't let me, and he was 11.9 months older than me  (There is exactly a single week in the year where he and I are technically the same age; it was a glorious moment where I felt like we were on equal ground)...but, in spite of everything, there was some sense of respect between us.

Now, around '02, things would change; he went through a phase where he was impossible to be around, as he not only hated everything I loved (Him talking trash about Nintendo games I loved because "ERMAHGERD PHINAL PHANTASY TEEN", among other things), but he also took cheap pot shots (He was more than eager to throw aside "childish" things I still enjoyed, to learn how to use Microsoft Access and play "edgy, mature" games like Unreal Tournament, Quake II, and Kingdom Hearts) and liked to rub it in that he was better than me in every single way. However, around '06 or so, he finally mellowed out and became easier to talk to...and easy to troll, as I liked to piss him off in Soul Calibur by juggling his character to death. These days, he's living in Arizona and is working in rocket science; I will admit, I am jealous of him, but I've basically come to terms that mom's family will always idolize him, no matter what I do, so there's no real point in getting worked up over it. Basically, screw them; I have a DS and copies of Giana Sisters and Pokemon X to help me ignore them.

My younger cousin is the one I've spent the most time around...and admittedly, in his younger days, he was kind of a pain in the ass. I mean, there was trying to play with him in any capacity (With action figures, he was always unfair; all his characters could fly and had +99 evasion, so my characters never stood a chance. Also, with multiplayer video games, if he couldn't beat me, he'd resort to cheating). and there was my bright idea to run a series of challenges on the various games we had for the Genesis (That clusterfuck is deserving of its own spotlight). He also had a tendency to get game titles wrong when he was younger, to my confusion (Super Smash Bros. became "Mario Fight", and most baffling of all, Sonic the Hedgehog 3 became "Mega" (My only guess there is he thought it was a Mega Man game)). Admittedly, it could sometimes be fun playing with him, and he was the one to introduce me to Danny Phantom; a show I was sceptical about at first, but ended up loving.  Oh, and there was also the time I taught him to say "WAZZUP?" (From a series of really stupid beer commercials), which irritated my aunt. So, in spite of some bullshit, I'm fine with him.

My youngest cousin...I was never a big fan of. My earliest memory of her was actually shortly before she was born; my aunt was in the maternity ward, and I went with mom to visit...and it was hot as fuck in the room, which lead to me puking (Also not helped by the ultrasound creeping me out). I also remember my aunt trying to explain to me where babies come from...but even I, as a 7-year-old with no knowledge of sex, knew better than to believe her when she told me that "babies come out of the nose". Now, as for the cousin in question, she was often kinda creepy; I remember riding in the car with her one time, and she showed absolutely no emotion at all, or any sign of life; she was perfectly still and staring off into space, not blinking or saying a word. There was also her being a brat; I remember her stomping on my foot for no reason, and I got in trouble for yelling at her about it, as there's no way this perfect little angel could do any wrong...and when she was involved with a game her brother and I were playing, she'd complain if I had some sort of power or ability that she deemed unfair, while her brother could have the same exact powers and it'd be fine. Playing with her usually sucked, and I tried to avoid it. These days...she hasn't really changed much; she's older, but many of her weird tendencies are still present, even if they're not as obvious. Also, she idolizes Sarah Palin.

The last thing I wanted to bring up, as briefly mentioned when talking about my younger cousin, was the time I decided to run a series of video game challenges with him, during a Saturday when I was there for a garage sale at our grandmother's house. We ran a series of challenges, where the games were issued to us at random, and we had to complete some challenge in each one; the person that completes the most will get to go first on playing Sonic & Knuckles (The one game that had to be left out of the challenges; its unusual cartridge made it far too easy to pick out). Ultimately, he won by completing all 4 challenges (I practically gave him the win, as he ended up with some games I did not like...and I got stuck with a shitty football game, as Street Fighter II was banned), so he got to go first; the agreement that, once someone runs out of lives, they pass the controller to the next person. He didn't make it very far before he ran out of lives, so controls went to me; as I made it further into the first level than I had ever been before, nearing the end...when he, completely forgetting the arrangement, began to throw a fit over how I'm taking a longer turn than he got, and he should get to play now, being completely deaf to reasoning.

Then, my aunt storms into the room, demanding I act better and let her son play, and as always, she saw me as a stupid child; I try to explain what's going on, but it's all just lies, excuses, and "back-talking" in her eyes. I'm already pretty pissed off, but am trying to ignore everyone and just beat this damn boss I was on...when she made the mistake of turning off the TV on me; I throw down the controller in rage, and she flips her shit; forcing me to leave the room. Crying, I confront mom, and try to explain what the hell is going on...but the aunt shows up and cuts me off by loudly telling everyone that I was "bullying" her children and "threw the Nintendo at her", as everyone sided with her, even my own mother (She did later ask me to explain what really happened, although the damage had been done by that point). I was now banned from ever playing on that Genesis ever again; preventing me from finishing Sonic 3, which given that game was my life back then, this was soul-crushing...but, hope was not yet lost; for I made enough money from selling some of my old toys at the garage sale to go down to Office Depot and pick up Sonic & Knuckles Collection, which was conveniently on clearance for half-off when I got there. I may have to start over, but at least I could continue playing and see it through to the end.

Also, I would have the last laugh in regards to the Genesis; a few months later, everyone forgot what happened, so I quietly returned to playing it. After a while, since I was the only one still playing with it, my grandmother let me take it home. So, in spite of the bullshit, it at least ended on a happy note.

EDIT: You know, I didn't even intend for this post to be this long; it just sort of happened ^^;

[Chocofreak13]

i'm glad your oldest cousin got out and is (hopefully) happy. it still shocks me how backward some of your family can be, especially with you turning out as liberal as you did. we need to get you up here ASAP. ><;

Cousins (Mum's Side):

Erin: Oldest. one of the Burkes, and goddamn does she know it. take the whitest, most catholic rich girl you can find, make her a schoolteacher, and keep her obsessed with keeping up the rich image, and you get Erin. not outright malicious, but she knows the art of gossip and backhanded compliments well. EXTREMELY condescending, even to her own siblings, and so much of a suck-up for her parents' approval it's gross. also has a tendency to pawn her kids off on her mother all the time, when her mother is in her 60's now and has frequent migraines. >>;

Christina: Oldest Shelzi, pretty sure she's the second oldest of the cousins overall. i (sort of???) respect how far she's come in life, and how much she's rebounded from the trouble she was in for nearly a decade, but otherwise she's a bitchy slob with little motivation and no discipline. i probably wouldn't hate her as much as i do if she'd a) clean up her messes at my grandpa's; b) actually STICK to something she starts, whether it be school, training, etc; c) be a bit more courteous about living at my grandpa's, she lives there rent-free and doesn't really have much to do with him, doesn't pay for her food, doesn't help with cleaning and cooks rarely (and when she does it's kind of a disaster since she cooks for 10), d) get off her fucking high horse and stop being so goddamn sensitive to others' comments, or at least stop pitching fits about it, e) stop eavesdropping on conversations, f) quit acting like a condescending bitch to me, just because you're older does NOT make you wiser girl

Kelly: Erin's sister, middle child of the Burkes. MUCH more down to earth than her sister, much more liberal. Still hard to relate to due to age, but i don't dislike her.

Buck: Youngest burke, only son. has a bad temper but is otherwise quite nice and down to earth. seems to treat me more like a person and less like a kid than most of my cousins. i respect him quite a bit, but we have nothing in common. :0

Joey: Middle Shelzi. bit younger than my sister, a few months. Nice, friendly guy who's overcome his past to become an excellent father, partner to his child's mother and business owner. he's responsible, polite, and i respect him deeply. i think he can have a temper, and is a bit Jersey-Shore style superficial, but has matured a bit in recent years. we still have nothing in common, but i'd have to say, out of my cousins on my mum's side, i probably like him the most. ^^

Maria: Youngest Shelzi, about 2-3 years older than me. Sets off my sister to no end (they have similar mental issues and unfortunately tend to develop a bit of a feedback loop without outside interference), and has QUITE a bratty history, but seems to be coming around a bit, especially now that she has a son. is high a LOT of the time, and that's always been off-putting. is super-caring and responsible about her son, though, which is great since he has a rare and bad genetic disorder. she's gotten much better than she was, and like her brother and sister has overcome her past wonderfully. she's even got more steady employment now, which is nice for her. i don't really get along with her super-well, though, since she can sometimes be just as condescending as her sister, and will sometimes confide in me/my sister about her woes relating to Christina, but when we try to lament our woes about her, she goes back and tells Christina. also have nothing in common, again. :\

i'd post about the cousins on my dad's side, but i've only met them once, and didn't even meet all of them. ><;

[Nichi]

I think you can thank me spending so much time online for turning out the way I did; I mean, there was a time when I leaned more conservative, given that was all I knew, but much like the phase where I genuinely thought the Donkey Kong Country cartoon was good, I grew out of it.

As for the cousins on my dad's side, it is a lot simpler (Just 3: one first cousin, and two second cousins), but I suppose there wasn't as interesting of dynamics as there was with mom's family, as I actually got along with them with no issues. In fact, I used to spend a lot of time around my second cousins when I was little; my great aunt (Their grandma) seemed to always have snacks on-hand for whenever my sister and I came over :3

[Chocofreak13]

that's so sweet. she sounds like a lovely woman. ^^

[LeaflameSD]

so uhm

there's this cute girl who works at the subway in my area
when i'm in there she looks at me a lot
and then when we make eye contact, she smiles like rly playfully
sometimes when we talk it feels like she's very subtly flirting with me

w0t does this mean? do you guys think she's interested in me, or am I just being paranoid? (a_a)

[Bella]

Not that I'm especially qualified to give advice on detecting flirting, but I think it can be hard to tell, some people are just naturally warm and friendly in ways that are easy to mistake for flirting. Try to observe how she interacts with other people, if possible, to see if it's a usual part of her personality or specific to you. And obviously reciprocate her kindness and see if she tries to get closer / open up to you.

[LeaflameSD]

around other people, she's just in normal business mode i guess
its weird

[Chocofreak13]

she might be flirting with you, bro. if she's especially cold and business-y with other customers she might dig you. but i'm terrible at guessing these things (though i've been hit on my fair share of times, so this kind of seems like it). ;v;

only trouble is, how do you approach her? you can't really give her your number when she's at work, yeah? :\

[LeaflameSD]

well i guess that settles it, then.

only trouble is... i'm quite shy when it comes to these things. should i just ask her, regardless of whether she's at work or alone?

[LeaflameSD]

halp pls

[Pitkin]

halp pls

This sums up my life perfectly. Sorry, no advice to give, just wanted to express that.

[Bella]

halp pls

Again, I can't say I'm the best person to give romantic advice, but I'd suggest continuing to talk with her when you can, and when the moment feels right (i.e. she's not busy, seems open and friendly and interested in what you have to say) maybe ask if she wants to hang out sometime outside of work. I'd avoid putting romantic pressure on her and try to frame it as a friendly meeting, rather than a date. If you can hang out together you can get to know each other better, you can then decide if you want to try to make things romantic.

[LeaflameSD]

bella you're a star m8
you're a star :3

i will try to see if i can meet her again

[Chocofreak13]

good luck! and if you get friend-zoned, feel what you feel, but also cherish that you've made a new friend. :3

[Nichi]

@Leaf: Hope it goes well \ went well, if you've already talked to her

You know, I was talking with my sister about the moving plans, and while some of her advice is pretty sound, I think one of the biggest issues is how she really is a poor judge of character when it comes to some people. Like, she feels even if you trust someone, to not trust them fully because she's had so many people she trusted stab her in the back...and here I am; I barely trust anyone because of the bullshit I endured as a kid, so if I say I actually trust someone, I genuinely mean it.

The problem is, she's too easily trusting of others; I'll give that her last roommate before her father-in-law moved in was one that surprised me that he turned out to be an asshole, but one of her previous roommates was like the physical embodiment of "untrustworthy douchebag", and yet I was just putting too much thought into it and how she kept telling me that "he's not like that; he's a good person and you just don't understand him", until something happened that she finally began to see what I was talking about this entire time (Because, why would I trust this prick that thinks I'm a "loser" that needs his guidance to become a "real man" and end up going to prison several times). Also, back when bro-in-law still worked at Pizza Hut, and I had problems with a coworker, my sister always played devil's advocate; she'd try to convince me that the person in question is not a bad person because blah-blah-blah, until she or bro-in-law takes issue with that person, and then it's ok for me to complain about them. I admit, some people I judged too harshly at first, some of whom ended up becoming good friends once we found some common ground, but others I was spot-on.

But, yeah. I can understand being cautious just in case an emergency comes up and I need to quickly move out, but I really don't think I have to worry about it quite as much as she thinks. Still, I think I might need a U-Haul trailer, if only because of how bulky some of my stuff is (Also, I don't want to pack down the trunk too much, just in case I need to get to the spare tire).